Getting into the 'mood'

How do you get your bf into the 'mood'? Often he complains he doesn't like having sex - is he seeing someone else? I don't know how to approach this with him.

Sex with my wife used to be very vanilla. Missionary and sometimes I came and sometimes I didn't. I still masturbated though, so if I had that day I wouldn't be in the mood. I've never been unfaithful.

Now thanks to a drunken conversation and the introduction of anal (which meant introducing toys - I'm 8 inches) we've pretty much done it every day for 2 weeks. I'm now constantly in the mood.

Alicia4Ever wrote:

May be he just doesn't like sex. As Freud once said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

The key thing as in all relationships is comunication, so I think you need to try talking to him, but outside of the bedroom. Ask him if he could try to explain his feeling about sex, but if he won't talk about it, or just says I don't like it, then that is all there is to it. Stereotypically it's women that say that, but in reality there are men who don't like it much.

All you can do is tell him that if there is some other reason then you won't be shocked or angry. Sometimes someone finds that only a certain thing turns them on, and they are so embarrassed by what it is that that they will tell a partner they don't like sex much, rather than open up about it; because of a fear of loosing that person.

There are also lots of other reasons a guy could be not wanting sex much, from thinking they are rubbish at it, to they have started to find they can't get hard, or they cum in 2 seconds, or it takes them for ever and they feel that they don't want to put their partner through one and a half hours of being pounded just so they can get off. And the list goes on and on.

So please don't jump to the he must be having sex somewear else thing, because in the end if he isn't finding out you don't trust he could be far more devistating than the truth of it. You need much more proof before going there, IMHO.

Very wise words. Everything here is exactly what I would say. Agree 100%

I echo what Alicia4ever said.
My O.H was not keen on sex & would never initiate. After talking and I do recommend doing this somewhere neutral not in the bedroom.
I found out his Ex wasn't into sex and so he presumed all women were the same. He was naive and didn't know what he liked as he'd never been given the opportunity to explore his full potential. Needless to say it's great working on this together .
Good luck x