So my partner of 8 months has only ever gone down on me twice. Don't get me wrong our sex life is amazing and adventurous! But, when I broached the subject he just shrugged it off and then we had a discussion about it and he said he has never enjoyed/liked doing it but part me can't help but think it is to do with me. Is anyone else in this situation? What's yours opinions?
This is a strange one, I'm yet to meet a guy thats not enjoyed this activity. My first thought would be nothing your doing wrong (assuming you've not skipped showering for a few months >.<)
The two times it has happened was it good? Did you make the right noises at the right times? Maybe he's just never been taught how or what feels good. Maybe he thinks he's no good at it?
Not everyone enjoys every sex act, so it may just be as simple as he isn’t in to it. But if it is bothering you, it might be worth trying to have the conversation again to find out more about why he doesn’t like it. Just pick your timing carefully, make sure you have time to talk and don’t bring it up while either of your is horny.
I'm smooth down there. Yes both times were amazing! He didn't expand on why he doesn't like it but I feel it's a 'get peed off' kind of conversation when I did bring it up. Nope I shower everyday lol
Trine, this is also the first time I have experienced it so I find it a tad strange lol
Hmm without lowering the tone to much and keeping this breakfast friendly. The two times did you orgasm/cum while he was down on you? I personally like that but maybe thats the part thats to much for him? Was you due on?
Deffo need to try and talk like others have said but not in a regimented way, If I ever want to bring up something with her indoors I bring it up in a kinda jokey way and slowly move the conversation round to where I want it, judging the reaction as I go.
Maybe he had a bad experience in the past. I genuinely want to get to the bottom of this lol its a slow work day!
He didn't do it long enough for that lol but no I wasn't due on or anything. It could all be innocent and he genuinely doesn't like it from a bad experience in which he may not feel comfortable talking about? He's been very open with everything else and as I said everything else is fine. I will try broach it again and see where I get. Im a jokey kind too when speaking about something like this
He didn't do it long enough for that lol but no I wasn't due on or anything. It could all be innocent and he genuinely doesn't like it from a bad experience in which he may not feel comfortable talking about? He's been very open with everything else and as I said everything else is fine. I will try broach it again and see where I get. Im a jokey kind too when speaking about something like this
'HAY YOU, Mr lovelylumps, yeah you, man up and return the favour once in a while'
*My work is done here*
I agree with kelly_michelle, Trine, and Alicia4Ever's second comment. Definitely bring it up again, at the right time and in a smooth way so that he doesn't feel that you are demanding he goes down on you.
As for pubic hair, not everyone wants it to be smooth. Since I openly stopped shaving my pits and legs, I've gotten many (unsolicited and disgusting imo) comments from men saying they love a hairy pussy. To each their own.
You must admit its much easier for the giver if its shaved?
Why have you stopped (curious)
There are many possible reasons for not wanting to go down on a lady. Most are nothing to do with physical stuff and more to do with the giver’s psychology, personality, and perception. I don‘t know about your relationship and personalities so please forgive me if lots of my thoughts are not relevant to you both. Here’s a few possibles, not in any particular order;
His view of giving head could involve some degree of not feeling confident in performing. It can be daunting to take up a challenge if it’s outside the comfort zone. This could be helped by reinforcing how turned on you are by oral, and telling him in detail what you‘ve loved about your experiences with him. This may even spur a positive interest in exploring it more with you.
It‘s also easy for the giver to feel discouraged when it doesn‘t lead to climax quickly. Sore jaws, tounges, even neck-ache are all potential turn-offs so comfortable positioing could be important for his enjoyment if it takes more than a few minutes to reach climax. It‘s easy to be overly goal focused. It‘s good to enjoy the journey too sometimes of course!
Power dynamics could be a factor too. Does he like to be dominant? Does he view giving head as submission? It‘s sometimes difficult for us guys to let go of our everyday expectations of masculinity or otherwise when we enter the bedroom. This is a subjective/ personal thing, and maybe worth a conversation at some point?
Concerns about passing on Herpes from cold-sores can be a big turn-off too, as well as psychological barriers such as more general germophobia or personality traits of squeamishness about touching or tasting other people‘s bodies. Many guys aren‘t expert on understanding female bodies, particularly those not born with one, so misperceptions are easily formed.
Is it worth considering the context of whether he likes to receive oral, and whether you like giving? Does this open up opportunities for fun mutual exchanges? Birthday treat perhaps? Or games like Monogamy: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=662
People can change over time, but they have to have reason to want to. So it’s good to allow plenty of opportunities that feel good for you both. I’m sure you probably know it’s wise to avoid pressurising him if he’s really not turned on by giving head. Oral is really not for everybody. There are so many other aspects of sex to explore and enjoy, so we don‘t all have to love everything!
Good luck.
Trine wrote:
You must admit its much easier for the giver if its shaved?
Why have you stopped (curious)
Personally (as a giver) I think it's easier if the receiver is trimmed, waxed or has had laser treatment. If they're shaved, it's prickly and painful for me. The skin on my lips, nose and chin gets very irritated. If they're all-natural it's annoying because of hair getting stuck between my teeth or if I have to ''fish out'' hair from my mouth when we're done. That goes even for blowjobs.
Here's a post about why I stopped: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/1783565-women-who-dont-shave/ Since then, I've trimmed down there once, but left a bushy trapeze (it's not exactly a triangle.)
Thanks guys. A talk again is on the cards
lovelylumps wrote:
Thanks guys. A talk again is on the cards
Good to hear. Hope everything goes well! =)
I only ever did this once before. A long time ago a previous girlfriend was reverse sitting on my face with her panties on, she pulled them to one side and asked me to lick her, I was happy too, and as I licked her she became incredibly aroused, then we had sex. To be honest though I didn’t find it turning me on.
I can't fathom the idea of not going down on Mrs Sen, its something I love to do and feel less satisfied if I haven't done this.
When first starting out with performing oral on a female, it was quite a scary prospect, the smell and taste were new experiences and it took a while to get used to, this doesn't even take into account the whole "am I doing it right" thought.
As a general rule, I find the taste / smell of a vagina less appealing when near that time of the month, this has been the same for several different partners, but outside of say 2-3 days before, all other times its been very appealing.
Much like the reverse of this problem (when men like receiving oral but their partner doesn't enjoy it), its all about communication and if necessary comprimise.
It might be something simple like a flavoured lube applied before to create a new taste sensation for your partner, a quick shower and freshen up immediately before engaging or some other way in which they feel more comfortable / confident to engage in the activity.
Its certainly best an discussion held outside the bedroom, neutral ground and starting off with a "how can we make this activity more enjoyable for the both of us" rather than a "why don't you do this" type of discussion.
Make the conversation about mutual enjoyment, not just yours.
he is not giving you much to go on so you need to ask again nicely.
Maybe he is a lazy sod and cannot be bothered doing it for long?
As for shaved, i am older so shaving it off wasnt a thing is my youth so most of my experience is going down on hair and its fine, its a lie to say men are bothered. I am happy just to be invited to go down there!
I hope you can talk it out and cum to an agreement . I personally do not miss the late 70s licking through a jungle . Waxed or trimmed close , NO STUBBLE ! I get massive pleasure from giving her orgasm after orgasm . I also love going down on her after sex and doing a good clean up . Good lick , or luck !
Wow, as a man I absolutely love going down on the wife seriously I could stay there for hours if she could handle it, I love the taste the smell the textures but mostly I love the way it makes her react going down for me is a massive turn on to this day when she reaches climax my heart races also.
Your OH is missing out, hope your chat works out, only advice I could give is slow and steady could win this race good luck I hope you get what you clearly desire sexually from your partner