Tiny anecdote time. This has just happened!
My doorbell rang. I answered, to find a bloke I’d never seen before. He was dressed in cycle gear, so at first I thought maybe a bicycle courier? I said hello and asked what he wanted.
“Just curious about the flag you’ve got hanging from your front window.”
“Oh right,” I said, smiling but internally bracing myself for whatever might be coming next: “What d’ye want to know?”
“What country is it?”
Yes, well, to be fair on the guy i was in the same boat untill very recently 
knew the rainbow 
one but didnt realise there where others.
Well, he went away better educated than when he arrived, that’s for sure. 
Happy Pride Month everyone! I’m bisexual (I think!) although I’m starting to wonder if that’s right.
What makes you think it might not be?
I’m not really sure. To be honest I didn’t really know much about different sexualities until recently and went with bi because I’m attracted to people, not based on their gender, but based on their personality. But bisexual is limited (I assume by the bi part) to men and women and doesn’t include trans or non binary people. I don’t find people attractive just by looking at them either, I have to know their personality to be able to develop those feelings. I don’t neccessarily have to form a friendship with that person, I just need to know something of their personality. Not sure that makes a whole lot of sense. It doesn’t really matter anyway, I’m ok with being me.
Happy rainbow flag month everyone!
Hi @Kitty-Cat01
If it helps… it sounds like you’re going by the old school definition of bisexual (“attracted to men and women”). The term has moved on greatly since then. The present day definition is “attracted to persons of more than one sex/gender” …and crucially, “without specifying which ones or placing a limit on how many different ones”. So, as you can see, the modern definition is pretty flexible! Furthermore, it does encompass attraction to trans and/or non-binary people. 
It’s rather interesting, really, as it means that several bisexuals could be in a room and each one have their own unique pattern of attraction.
I first labelled myself as bisexual when I started coming out around 1980. Back then, the other labels didn’t exist, and bi was regarded as pretty damned edgy! If you told people you were bi, your gay friends thought you were gay really but partially in denial, and your straight ones just thought it meant “indiscriminately promiscuous - will shag anything”.
Whenever a friend was considerate enough to ask what it actually meant to me, I would give the explanation that nowadays is known as “Hearts not parts” - i.e. it’s the person you’re attracted to, not the genital toolkit in their pants. If I were coming out from scratch nowadays, I would most likely describe myself as pansexual, but I’ve been happy to call myself bi for 41 years, the modern definition of bi is broad enough for me, and honey, I’m far too old to go changing my headed notepaper and coming out ALL OVER AGAIN. Enough, already!
The label that’s always baffled me is omnisexual. On the rare occasion that I’ve heard someone call themselves omnisexual and then go on to describe what it means, I’ve always ended up thinking “That’s exactly the same as pansexual!” Go figure…
Wow, great reply. Also an awesome way of explaining it, will have to remember that one.
@Kitty-Cat01 i get where you coming from, working everything out is really tricky. I am probably closer to pan personally, but my exposer to a variety of different genders is so minimal i find it really hard to tell. Go with whatever works for you, you don’t need a label if you don’t want one. We are all at the end of the day, ourselves first.
I settled on bi because it feels comfortable to me, takes less explaining (as its one most people have heard of before) and is flexible enough that i feel it is a sufficiently accurate descriptively.
But like @PleasureDrone said, its about individuals for me too, as im sure it probably is for many people, just I’m slightly more gender blind when it comes to attraction.
(I actually tested this out of curiosity a few months ago. Typed “curvy brunettes” into the internet. (Still really weird to admit i have a type for women. Ironically very similar to my type for men. 
) flicked through until i hit one that just clicked for me. Strangest thing after so many years of ignoring it to do it intentionally. Massive eye opener though)
Thanks @PleasureDrone and @Green_Eyed_Girl
I love this description, so simple but true 
Glad you’re exploring your sexuality @Green_Eyed_Girl, it’s interesting when things click like that. This is where I think I’m a bit odd, I can look at pictures of let’s say, actors, that I can appreciate are typically attractive but I couldn’t actually say I found them attractive personally.
Lots of different types of attraction out there. Doesnt make you odd, your norm is just maybe a little bit different to other people and thats fine. Like @KinkyMira described so well, some people can only be attracted to others once they get to know them. (Plus ive never understand why people find some actors attractive either )
Getting to know ourselves takes time, its an ongoing process that i think we continue throughout our whole lives. So dont feel like you need to have it all worked out now. Somethings are meant to take time, and thats ok.
Never a truer word spoken. Spot on. 
Thank you so much for explaining the differences. I’ve always thought of myself as pansexual but your explanation of demisexual has given me a whole new realisation about myself and past relationships that didn’t make sense to me but now do 
Happy pride month everyone 
I’m the exact same as you and I think its completely ok to not be completely sure to to ‘I think’. Gender and sexuality is fluid and whilst I do love the labels in the sense of the community that these are a part of, I allow myself to flow between ‘straight’, ‘gay’, ‘bisexual’, ‘pansexual’, and so forth.
@Kitty-Cat01 This sounds very much like how I see the demisexual aspect of my sexuality. Especially with actors as I know they are playing a part, so they’re only presenting the personality of the character they are playing, but still not the same as face to face interaation. In real life they seem much like anyone else I have never spoken to in the flesh sort of “flat” is the only way I can describe it. I need to feel the vibe from someone in the flesh, even talking to someone by say Skype, wouldn’t work for me. It’s not at all about looks.
@PrettyKitty24 You are welcome, the “demi” part is like an add on to the way I view people with regard to sexual attraction.
I’m the same, sometimes I feel like I’m living in a revolving door, and never really know what I will be if I was to step out of it at any given moment. Right now I’m definitely feeling my sapphic side most strongly, though I did kind of have a straight moment the other day, flirting with some work men. It
kind of worries me a bit, because knowing my luck I will be feeling one thing, and meet a potential partner who fits an aspect of myself that I’m not feeling at that particular time. Maybe it’s like lightening, and they will jump me into their sphere, if that makes sense.
I’m a terrible over thinker though, and I know that’s making things worse for me. But I am what I am, and I’m happy that way, I just try not to put too much pressure on myself.
I read a really interesting article on sexually fluid people the other day. Not something id come across before, but you saying you feel like your in revolving door reminded me of it. Really interesting to read everyones different takes on what their gender and sexuality means for them and peoples personal experiences. Thanks for sharing guys
Definitely agree with you, there are some aspects of my sexuality that will probably never change, I’m highly unlikely to ever become 100% “straight”, but there are lots of things that have changed and still are changing over time. It’s one of life’s more fun parts! I’m quite happy to be how I am, labels are nice for belonging to something like you said but they do change over time.
Happy pride month 
I’ve always been a proud ally and I love you all Happy to be a part of this incredibly open-minded community
This seems the best place to post this so…
I think I’m maybe a little in love with my best (and if I’m honest, only) friend. She is bisexual/poly, but she’s also aromantic and finds it incredibly uncomfortable when people develop romantic feelings for her.
I’m not exactly sure how to deal with this. She is so important to me and I love her dearly as a friend and don’t want to make her uncomfortable about being close. We don’t get to see each other a lot (she lives in London, I in Wales), so even on a strictly platonic level I just want to snuggle up and be super affectionate with her and I’d be so sad if she was no longer as comfortable with that.
At the same time, I know she’s awesome and kind and open minded and she has a queer platonic partner, so I know she’s not going to be hostile or anything. It’s just…I love her and doing something I know is likely to distress her, solely for the sake of getting it off my chest, seems awfully selfish.
I feel like a confused teenager with their first crush 
@Queerantine - Oh hun… (big hug!)
I don’t know whether you’re asking for advice here or simply needed to tell somebody about the predicament you’re in just to get it off your chest a bit, but I know where you’re at - been there - and it’s so hard to be that person, isn’t it! I’ve fallen in love with friends, made the mistake of telling them, and lost them as a result. I’ve also been on the receiving end of it (a FWB fell for me and became horribly clingy and jealous. I ended up having to cut myself off from him, and in so doing lost a unique and lovely friendship).
I think that, deep down, you already know the answer to this dilemma. You said it yourself: she “finds it incredibly uncomfortable when people develop feelings for her.” That’s the hands-down deal killer here. No matter how kind and open-minded she may be, if you confess your feelings to her, it will weird her out - and no, she won’t be hostile, but she’ll never again be able to feel totally relaxed and open with you. It could result in the two of you becoming gradually more distant and awkward with each other until one day you realise that all of that great thing you had as friends has somehow evaporated - or her reaction could be more immediate: she could decide that it’s kinder to you in the long run for the two of you not to see each other again, even as friends.
The stock advice on “how to kill a crush” is “don’t see them any more and busy yourself with other things” - but that’s no use at all when one is crushing on a valued friend …and of course, as you know, one of the principle drivers of your crush is the fact that her aromanticism makes her unattainable. Oh how we romantics love an unattainable goal!
Also, I think a lot of the reason you are crushing on her is down to the fact that she is your “best (and if I’m honest, only) friend.” - OMG love… she’s your ONLY friend? That ain’t good. It means that you have no choice but to put all your emotional eggs in the one basket: you literally have nowhere else for all those different emotions to find a home!
So (just in case it was advice you were looking for 
) I think what you’ve got to do here is be very, very grown up: lock that crush in the basement room marked “stuff that’s no damned use to me”, throw away the key, be grateful for the friendship you have with her - and meanwhile, actively pursue love elsewhere. Again, you said it yourself: “doing something I know is likely to distress her, solely for the sake of getting it off my chest, seems awfully selfish.” - It is.
Tough, this adulting lark, isn’t it?
Hugs,
PD x