Has your perception changed as you have aged?

It may very well not be stress. There could be other factors like a loss of connection with your partner, loss of physical / sexual attraction to them, and possibly others. Have any of your counselors discussed those possibilities?

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Thanks @CurvyJilly, I regret undergoing counselling, it’s made me feel worse. I’ll google alternative therapies.
You’re very kind.



Always someone here if you’d like to talk.

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Thanks @SCMandy, one of the counsellors said I seem to be incapable of forming relationships, or intimacy with anyone, because I have never talked about issues to anyone.

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Thanks @WillC :+1:

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Having a long term partner means you can experiment with each other and try new things something you can’t really do when you’re drunk on a 1 night stand. I love to pleasure my partner because she’s important to me and I want to make her happy.

Totally agree, hitting the spot knowing you have given pleasure is an amazing feeling. I just wish I had as much energy as I used to and that I had realised sooner…getting old sucks…?

I may be well off the mark here but have you tried just simply going back to basics. Meaning restart the whole having a date, laying together watching a movie, having a shower together or maybe washing each other in a bath. Basically not focusing on sex being the end goal but if it happens then great stuff if not then you just work on being together and enjoying each others company.

Obviously all the above is not supposed to be in one night just as with old style dating.

@Knight1119 although i am only 31 i have went through a lot of hardship in my life and have been through counselling too, i lost interest in sex for almost 3 years and nearly destroyed my relationship over it. When i did try to have sex again for the first few months it was almost hopeless, i had to learn to love myself again and learn that it will take time to get that urge for sex back. I am only now starting to get my sex life back on track. Sending you lots of hugs and hope things improve for you in the future :hugs: :two_hearts:


YES, when i was younger, i would have sex with whoever i could :see_no_evil: i had to be attracted to them of course, but i never was satisfied like my itch wasn’t being scratched.
It wasn’t until later in life with my current partner that i realised i really enjoyed how he made m feel and he itched the scratch every time ensure im satisfied first. We don’t have sex alot now if im honest but it feel different, like its the connection and desire and pleasure all in one for me.

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Thanks @TinyTom, we enjoy each others company, we watch movies together, but usually on separate settees more for her comfort. We go out places, cuddle together in bed, but I am unable to get aroused.

Thanks @Grainne, I’m sorry to hear of your suffering. Our situation is complicated, but we’re trying to see if we can improve things.
Sending lots of hugs too :hugs::hugs::hugs:


I get more pleasure giving and pleasing my wife

When I cum, it’s a second or two of pleasure

Giving her pleasure keeps my excitement going all evening