I need some advice... my husband and i have had our baby now for 14 weeks... but i feel now what he has completly gone off sex...or is it me? i think having sex at least 1-2 a week is a reasonable request... i would personally enjoy it several times a day, but im willing to meet half way.

but thats the this he isnt meeting me half way either. we prob have it once a month if that, n doesnt last that long either. or he just wants a blow job n i end up with nothing!

i even now have to ask for it, then he plays along but then finds an excuse not to...HELP IM GOING INSANE!!!

Is this even normal...what would u guys do? (please no judging)

Have you tried talking to him about why you arent having sex more or why he doesnt seem interested? It might be adjusting to the new babies routine that has tired him out or something?

talk talk and talk some more! i'm sure it's something simple that can be sorted through communication. If it's your first baby, everything has changed, everyone is probably exhausted, he might even just want you to get some sleep.

yeh we have talked loads. he says he knows but thats it... i wouldnt normally mind if i was getting something. but the way i think at the mo is if he can use it for a blowjob then why not use it with me!! its sooo frustrating.

things will get better, it's a big adjustment period, you're not all that far in, give it some time, as frustrating as it is and hold off the blow jobs, you'll just frustrate yourself more for not getting anything in return. who knows, it might kick him back into action :)


Having a baby causes a lot of changes to a relationship. Broken sleep from night feeds can cause lots of people to loose libdo. Just the general new responsibility of looking after another human can cause so much physiological stress that it manifests it's self in different ways, such as lack of intimacy.
Plus he just watched you give birth..... It can really traumatise a man. That and the smell of breast milk and lactating breasts can put men off a little. Plus part of him could be scared of hurting you after you gave birth so recently, or a general fear of another pregnancy.
Talking is the only way to resolve it. Ask him what exactly is causing him to not want it so much. Men are not very good at explaining what is going on in there minds . Usually we have to drag it out of them

bumblebee think your right a blowjob ban is needed! our baby is really good she sleeps through the night, and most of the day it feels like too, im certsainly not complaining, shes perfect! not breast feeding anymore either. ive asked him if the birth disturbed him in anyway n he says not. were using condoms at the mo and i know he hates them and finds them a turn off but needs must n all lol! we hardly see each other at the mo, hes on shifts rather than just reg days, so im with the kids majority of the time anyway.

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Maybe he is stuck in the routine of looking after himself so to speak ,I'm sure this slight imbalance will correct itself real soon , maybe put it on a plate for him a couple of times and he will soon realise what he's been missing, its a difficult subject and everyone is different but as the others have said talking it through in detail is more likely to resolve the issue

14 weeks is nothing in the scale of things. Having children is so disruptive for you both, even if you feel completely on top of things. There are lots of reasons why he might not feel too inclined to give you a good seeing to, not least that you've just (and 14 weeks is, really, only just) given birth through your vagina. Whatever the reality, many men are actually squeamish about the psychological paradox of using your bits for the variety of tasks they were designed for. And it could be any other reason, especially that if he's been dealing with himself for a while it could take a little longer to get back into the whole sex thing. And he may just be worried, possibly without knowing it, aboout disturbing the baby when you do it.

My first wife used to lie in bed next to me and play with herself if she thought I was falling off in the rodding department. It's quite hard for a man to lie there and not take part somehow. Especially if you tell him to wait ...