I’ve been seeing a guy for 3-4months and sex has been great but I notice that after having anal sex I feel much more emotional/vulnerable than after any other type of sex. He’s great during it, constant communication, I really enjoy it… I feel very euphoric afterwards, can’t stop smiling, get major leg wobbles etc but once I’m on my own I get super emotional and down. I can’t really pinpoint why…
Anyone else get like this after a certain type of sex?
I am the same. My wife uses a strapon on me sometimes, and despite being your typical ‘stiff upper lip’ type, I find it can make me quite teary sometimes, but in a good way. I dont know what it is, but its only ever that. Never anything else.
Hi, yeah it is very common are certain types of play, particularly if it has been very intense.
It’s known as drop and it’s essentially where all those chemicals that made you feel euphoric leave your body. It can happen straight after or it can take up to a couple of days. Some people find it doesn’t happen every time and some people find that the more you get used to doing the activity, the less the drop hits.
Different things can help so it is about figuring out what works for you. It could be cuddles, reassurance, quiet time, some time and/or space to process (talking hours more than days here), food and drink (although go easy on the sugar and alcohol, but a mix of protein and carbs can help), talking to your partner in the few days after, and generally whatever you might do for some self care, so things like little treats, having a nice bath, watching your fave movie/TV, taking a walk, listening to your fave music.
It is most associated with bdsm play, in particular submission, and there are lots of articles online about sub drop. However, it can happen to anyone after any type of sex and even after non sexual things as performers and athletes can often feel it. It can also come from things like finishing exams or coming home from holiday.
My best advice is just to be nice to yourself when you feel like that and know it will pass quickly
Hi @Bettycat81 not “down” but definitely emotional and needing lots of skin contact, attention and love.
I always thought (before we did it) anal would feel more “naughty” but I find it really intimate and loving.
I think you are on to something. The feeling down part is because we both have our kids full time, our time together for intimacy is often limited so sometimes there isn’t enough time for that connection after. It’s a new relationship so hopefully as things move on we’ll get that time we/I need. I’ll certainly have a chat with him in the next few days.
The nearest I had to this was when my mistress ( many years ago) fingered me , while I was on all fours .
She used vaseline , which made it more humiliating.
She also told me to masturbate while she did it .
I cried out in pain and pleasure. When I came , I almost cried in sheer exctasy.
The emotional feeling I had was out of this world. .
I’ve never had the courage to ask my wife to do the same to me
This is quite a common occurrence among those involved in chastity play. The release of hormones through your body after an orgasm can cause quite a shift in mental attitude, some say it can take days for things to feel right after an orgasm if its been a while.
I can sort of attest to this myself, after I went 5 weeks without orgasm, there was quite a feeling of “mehness” afterwards, it took me a good week or so to build up any sort of positive emotion / hornyness again.
Its likely you are feeling more vulnerable after anal, it is afterall considered by some (many?) to be more intimate than vaginal sex and when you participate, you are sharing your most private part with someone else.
Talk to him and explain your feelings (and not straight before / after) where all good sex talks should happen, somewhere away from the bedroom when hormones aren’t racing and leading the conversation and he will then be aware of your increased need of aftercare.
How come? She is your wife, communication is a keystone. She must know you have a submissive side by now or have you just supressed it? Does she allow any type of anal play with her? A cheeky finger or tongue slipped in during doggy or oral? Let her know you would like a little pressure on your ring during oral or even do it yourself when she is blowing you. If you don’t ask, you wont get. It’s got to be worth a try.
To be honest, she isn’t particularly adventurous. She indulges me in fantasies sometimes , but not that often .
In the early days of our kinky play, aftercare had a lot less focus, but as our play is now a bit more advanced, this part is getting more important.
Now whenever we‘ve been doing anything involving domination or bondage, I‘ll always, always give my wife a glass of water, and offer her tea, or a glass of wine straight after, and maybe a piece of chocolate or some other snack.
Sometimes she just wants lots of cuddles, or massaging out sore muscles.
It helps rebalance the power dynamic to a more even keel, and often she‘ll fall asleep in a warm haze of endorphins.
Crucially, as part of the aftercare, I‘ll also check how she‘s feeling the next day. It‘s always good for her to know I‘m looking out for her well-being, giving her opportunities to reflect and talk about things, and letting her know that I had a really great time.
Feeling objectified, or overpowered, and used are some of her kinks, but only within the confines of playtime. Straight after and the following day it‘s really good for her to feel loved, cared for and respected.
Anal sex, in either direction, is far and away the most intimate thing we ever do.
There are times after my wife has given me a good fisting that I’m almost crying due to emotions.
Maybe there’s an emotional button up people’s bum that gets switched on after anal 
Oh perhaps…
Thank you! There is some really great advice there!
I used to feel guilty after giving anal sex to my OH. It’s because she said she was doing it to please me.
I can’t do it at all with her now. She said she doesn’t want to do it anymore so of course I must respect her wishes.
At least no more guilt trip for me. 
On the ocassions that i get pegged by the wife, i always have a strong feeling of deep contentment afterwards. The feelings are a mix of vulnerability, breathlessness and sexual relief.
In no way does our pegging have any hard sub/dom or bdsm context, but the act of anal penetration certainly leaves the penetrated feeling a sense of being owned.
Pegging, for us, has different implications depending on location and physical position.
When we’re in bed and I ride her strap on in cowgirl it’s all about intimacy and closeness.
When I’m in doggy or up on the wedge cushion in missionary then it’s more about my submission but still quite intimate.
When she bends me over the kitchen sink and takes me hard from behind then it’s definitely about domination and submission.
I don’t know if I am just weird, but I feel no emotion or negativity after pegging other than satisfaction and gratitude. Never felt down.