So, a few of you will have seen a few of my posts basically admitting to being useless with regards to a huge crush am developing on a guy at work.....
Basically I'm old enough to know better but seriously have no idea what to do about the crush as have no wish to humiliate myself so pubicly. Have been single for 18months now and any dates etc I've had have been with people I've met on the internet and am absolutely fine with all that stuff, but with this guy I have no idea what to do...
We get on well, good convo's when we see each other, we work in diff depts, he did have a G/F but was going through problems and I now know he's single. Our convo had been getting more and more lately, ending up with me emailing him my number, on the pretext of meeting up with us on a work night out, which he ended up not going to, but he has been texting me over the weekend and into this week, quite lengthy witty texts but have no idea if he has the slightest bit of interest in me other than as a work mate....
I genuinely have no clue, short of reverting to schol days and asking another work mate to tell him I don't expect there is really an answer apart from the obvious 'ask him' but I'm too nervous of the rejection to do that... I did email him a jokey kind of reference to that, but he hasn't replied, not sure if that tells me anything or not? See, am useless.....
So rather than take over many threads I wondered if anyone had any help or advice for me, and if you got this far in reading my post, bloody well done Thanks in advance guys, will be a big help
Single guys that just broken up with his girlfriend probably wants sex.. but that might just be it, might be quite possible he just wants a fling but doesn't want to do that and then make things awkward at work... thats just me speculating though, ask him to go out for a drink one night, if he isn't interested you'll soon know :)
Clearly I meant publicly as opposed to pubicly, line 4... am not resorting to that External Media
Roflmao that's a genius type-o MTC! No, I wouldn't want to humiliate myself pubicly either.
You're probably gonna need to ask him sooner or later. I mean, there's gonna be other things going on in his life which will be why he's not got to works nights out and whatever, so I shouldn't fret about that. It really is difficult to know if you don't go for it, and face it, what's the worst that could happen? You'd end up where you are know, but at least in the knowledge you can move on. And if you don't, you're gonna risk some other girl getting there first, so talk to him, and good luck!
Thanks everyone, I'm sensible enough to know you're all right, of course, I'm just a scaredy cat.... lol.... I guess cos if he says no, I'd be embarassed at work, momentarily anyway cos I know he wouldn't broadcast it around the place, he's very much a closed book at work, not just to me, so am not concerned bout that, just the looking a tit by asking him and the potential for rejection, when he looks at me like I made the most ridiculous suggestion ever, haha!
A bloke once texted me (after a lengthy and varied text convo) and just said
"Is it me or do we seem to be flirting?" I simply texted something like "Don't know, is that what we're doing?" and it went from there. Was bold but did the trick!
Boobaloo's idea was good - get a group night out again and if things are going well, seperate yourselves from the group
I really wouldn't be offended if someone asked to sleep/go out with me haha, I don't think many guys would. i'm sure he will be flattered even if he isn't interested!
A bloke once texted me (after a lengthy and varied text convo) and just said
"Is it me or do we seem to be flirting?" I simply texted something like "Don't know, is that what we're doing?" and it went from there. Was bold but did the trick!
Boobaloo's idea was good - get a group night out again and if things are going well, seperate yourselves from the group
OK the sheer fact he has bothered to text you despite not going to the work do is a positive sign to me!
You said you talk to him when you make coffee etc - do you notice he seems to follow you when making coffee; so you're there first and he follows?
I thought so too LK but then my rubbishy self confidence kicked in..... :-(
Coffee is always more luck than judgement cos we work in different offices within the building and we used to meet in smokers corner but since I stopped doing that, that's been much less....
Bakewell wrote:
Single guys that just broken up with his girlfriend probably wants sex.. but that might just be it, might be quite possible he just wants a fling but doesn't want to do that and then make things awkward at work... thats just me speculating though, ask him to go out for a drink one night, if he isn't interested you'll soon know :)
At the minute, I think I could cope with just sex, haha, it's been ages, I'm not wanting to pressure him into anything, just to have a laugh together would be good...
The awkwardness at work is minimal but enough to perhaps be a worry am sure, it always is I guess?
Hi, I dont think that he would be sending you texts if he wasn't at least a little bit interested.
Why dont you ask him about going out after work for a drink, maybe with a group of you at first, and just try and separate yourself from the group.
Yeah I hope the texting is a sign of slight interest, there'd be no need to do it that's for sure, and he did ask me today if I'd read some of the links he'd sent me so......
Ask him, ask him, ask him, ask him, if I say it enough, maybe I will ;-)
Mr Boob wrote:
MissTerryCleavage wrote:
Clearly I meant publicly as opposed to pubicly, line 4... am not resorting to that External Media
Roflmao that's a genius type-o MTC! No, I wouldn't want to humiliate myself pubicly either.
You're probably gonna need to ask him sooner or later. I mean, there's gonna be other things going on in his life which will be why he's not got to works nights out and whatever, so I shouldn't fret about that. It really is difficult to know if you don't go for it, and face it, what's the worst that could happen? You'd end up where you are know, but at least in the knowledge you can move on. And if you don't, you're gonna risk some other girl getting there first, so talk to him, and good luck!
I did laugh at my awesome typo, haha, but I suppose worst comes to the worst I could try it ;-)
Ask him, ask him, ask him, ask him, see still trying ;-)
All men have glass egos...he is probably more scared of rejection than you,so put it on the table and let him feel he has asked you out.EG."when would you like to go for that work drink or are you too busy?It would be fun and I would like to"
He will be unable to resist
PS.Been married to my ex boss for 10 years now lol
A bloke once texted me (after a lengthy and varied text convo) and just said
"Is it me or do we seem to be flirting?" I simply texted something like "Don't know, is that what we're doing?" and it went from there. Was bold but did the trick!
Boobaloo's idea was good - get a group night out again and if things are going well, seperate yourselves from the group
I really wouldn't be offended if someone asked to sleep/go out with me haha, I don't think many guys would. i'm sure he will be flattered even if he isn't interested!
I might try the going out bit before the direct sleep with me option External Media Altho that may be more likely to succeed, lol....
I don't want to put him on the spot and make him feel crap by saying no to my face tho, too nice like that....
LuciousLips wrote:
All men have glass egos...he is probably more scared of rejection than you,so put it on the table and let him feel he has asked you out.EG."when would you like to go for that work drink or are you too busy?It would be fun and I would like to"
He will be unable to resist
PS.Been married to my ex boss for 10 years now lol
Thanks LL, I think I'm gonna have to do that, I don't think he will, cos am sure he thinks he's not my type, given I have waxed lyrical in the past bout what my 'type' is and he's not it, so I doubt he will approach me cos it's a standing joke at work bout my strict qualifying criteria and he doesn't quite fit it, and yet, my crush is getting bloody bigger by the day, how annoying.... lol...
Thanks everyone, I'm sensible enough to know you're all right, of course, I'm just a scaredy cat.... lol.... I guess cos if he says no, I'd be embarassed at work, momentarily anyway cos I know he wouldn't broadcast it around the place, he's very much a closed book at work, not just to me, so am not concerned bout that, just the looking a tit by asking him and the potential for rejection, when he looks at me like I made the most ridiculous suggestion ever, haha!
You might feel a tit, but people won't think you are, especially not him. Have you ever seen a guy who's nervously asked you out as a tit? It's flattering, it really is. And he won't see it as ridiculous. At worst he'll come clean as to why he'd say no, and I don't believe for a minute it'd be cos he doesn't fancy you, that just doesn't wash with me. But really, don't think for a moment you'll be seen as being anything less than he sees you now.
A bloke once texted me (after a lengthy and varied text convo) and just said
"Is it me or do we seem to be flirting?" I simply texted something like "Don't know, is that what we're doing?" and it went from there. Was bold but did the trick!
Boobaloo's idea was good - get a group night out again and if things are going well, seperate yourselves from the group
Hmmm. Can lead to gossip and what not though?
As for the actual topic...
I think texting is good. Let's be honest, most of us are pretty busy people or at least we have plenty of fun distractions we could potentially engage in and to be texting at least you're more interesting than Call of Duty, wanking or BBC3.External Media
Could you not just subtly tell him you feel like you need a night out and letting your hair down? See if an offer occurs?
Thanks everyone, I'm sensible enough to know you're all right, of course, I'm just a scaredy cat.... lol.... I guess cos if he says no, I'd be embarassed at work, momentarily anyway cos I know he wouldn't broadcast it around the place, he's very much a closed book at work, not just to me, so am not concerned bout that, just the looking a tit by asking him and the potential for rejection, when he looks at me like I made the most ridiculous suggestion ever, haha!
You might feel a tit, but people won't think you are, especially not him. Have you ever seen a guy who's nervously asked you out as a tit? It's flattering, it really is. And he won't see it as ridiculous. At worst he'll come clean as to why he'd say no, and I don't believe for a minute it'd be cos he doesn't fancy you, that just doesn't wash with me. But really, don't think for a moment you'll be seen as being anything less than he sees you now.
Aww thanks, but do you know, in all my years, and there's been a few, I don't think a guy has ever asked me out, all relationships have kinda just happened.... but I can see how it might be flattering, but for me the awkwardness still stands out, haha... *must push my own issues aside*
So yes I need to just ask him, rather than waste time not knowing....
why not just ask him if he wants to go with you for a coffee at lunch time rather than making it a big thing and asking him out, if he says yes then you might find he suggests something while you are out, or you could suggest something from there.
