Hi everyone. I'm hoping you can help me with my sex life. I'm dying to try new things with my husband but I'm so shy at talking about sex that I don't know what to do. Tonight I tried to seduce him in the kitchen. We had sex over the kitchen table but I also wanted oral from behind - he didn't take the bait and although we had sex I am so frustrated with myself because i can't say all of the things I want to do. I have quite a lot of fantasies but wish I could say what I want! any help would be great, thank you!
I think it helps to just go for it when you're in the moment.
e.g. you're getting busy in the kitchen just say "go down on me" or literally push him in the right direction ;)
I highly doubt he would be offended by you saying what you want and if for whatever reason he is just brush it off as oh sorry I got a bit carried away.
try it and if it goes well take it from there do it more often with other things, when you're having sex whisper in his ear what your fantasies are and so on :)
shywife... when you are both hot and horny and close to a climax normal barriers just seem to get lower (do with us anyway), just blurt it out and take the risk, then if you enjoy it or he does tell each other
thanks so much for posting, you're both right and I have to go for it. I will give your ideas a go and report back! Thanks again you,really so nice.
Try leaving him naughty notes with suggestions or texts about what you want to do to him when he gets home or what you want. Sometimes it's easier when it's not face to face. Just be subtle to start with to see how he reacts first.
Maybe try putting ideas into his head by saying something simple but not outright suggestive like ''I had this really random thought/dream/converstation earlier and I was wondering if xxxx would work, what do you think'' to try and get a conversation going.
You may have to just bite the bullet though and be a bit more direct if he isn't reacting though. It gets easier with time.
no worries shy :)
let us know how it goes x
shywife wrote:
thanks so much for posting, you're both right and I have to go for it. I will give your ideas a go and report back! Thanks again you,really so nice.
shy wife...even if you blush with embarrasment still do it (its cute and a turn on )
You sound a bit like my OH being shy but bear with it. If your feeling sexy then i would say its easier to talk about sex for trying new things. as well see what he like to try cas he might have a couple of things you both want to do.
I'm blushing with embarrassment just reading your suggestions haha! But definitely trying them all and will give you an update with results!you all have very lucky partners! X
shywife, I have a shy wife too, we rarely talk about sex it just happens, and we let it happen lol
Have a blast
Just do things in the heat of the moment, I think when passion takes over it's okay anyway lol! No need for embaressment! You'll be flushed with excitment anyway so he won't notice your blushes x
littlemisslh wrote:
Just do things in the heat of the moment, I think when passion takes over it's okay anyway lol! No need for embaressment! You'll be flushed with excitment anyway so he won't notice your blushes x
My OH doesnt get embarrassed doing it just talking about it lol (seems to be a common trait in people)
yes i agree gunth my oh is up for most things but i have tlak about them too her thnen its ok most of thr time
I used to be quite shy about talking to my OH about the things I wanted. I always found it easier to send him cheeky texts or (when we introduced 'outfits' to the bedroom) I started by emailing him a link to an outfit I liked and he surprised me with a response of 'yeah I like this but I like this one better' and it went on from there. The 'breakthrough' came when I ordered some lingerie from LH and got a small vibe as a 'free gift' (I actually spent my oh points on it!) I felt a bit more comfortable introducing it if it seemed to be a 'it was free so it would be a shame not to give it a go' type of thing. Anyway, since using it and both enjoying it we have both opened up a lot more and have bought quite a few more products and have a mounting wish list of things we want/want to do. The ability to open up and try new things together has actually made us even closer than we were so I'm really glad I took the plunge! You could always try having a few glasses of wine/your tipple of choice one evening so you feel a bit more relaxed if that helps. Good luck!
Hi Shywife, i can empathise with you, in the past i found it difficult to express some of my desires - luckily Hubby has tended to be more adventurous, but sometimes in the cold light of day i find it hard to talk about certain things with him.
I have found as others have said that often there comes a point when inhibitions get cast aside, i guess where lovemaking turns into 'lustmaking' ! Then its far easier to say things that seem a bit naughty
However one thing we do quite often is to exchange mails or texts, sometimes quite innocent ' can't wait til we have a kid free evening' ....but innconet can lead to raunchy. He sometimes writes little scenarios about what he has planned and wow that gets me hot. So ou could do the same for your hubby? You could write a little mail as a short story and say that you read it somewhere in a womans mag and that it sounded soo good and reminded you of the time when you a/ made out on the kitchen table or b/ xyz. That way you are giving him signals about the fact that what you read was more than acceptable and that it clearly turned you on. I'd imagine that any guy would read between the lines ..........
you don't have to make the text/mail all about the 'fantasy' - just subtly introduce it.......or if it wouldnt be out of character you could say in teh mail that you're sitting there thinking of him having just read about xyz....
or if between you you do buy the occasional toy or bit of sexy underwear then play a game.......make up a wish list and get him to do the same ( or to look at yours ).......and then play a bit of a game talking about what you both selected ' how would you feel if you came home and i was wearing that' - what would you do to me........
just a thought or two.......
have fun...
Jane
Maybe I am styrange but I think talking about it in too much detail takes the spontenaiety out of it, I and she cannot guarantee how our mood will be so we just start of slow and see what happens.
I think too much I want this or lets do that makes it a theatrical performance rather than an act of love and expression, anyone else feel the same?
Gunther I know what you mean but I also think talking it about it before hand (not minutes before you get undressed) to gauge your partners response can be a good thing. It may be quite embarrassing to ask for something in the heat of the moment and find out that your partner isn't into it but having already discussed the idea previously may give shywife a little more confidence to ask. I agree though, I wouldn't sit down of an evening and say 'tonight I want to do x,y,z' and then go up to bed a while later and perform these tasks - it would lack passion and spontaneity. Also, having an idea of things you and your partner would like to try in future gives you both the opportunity to surprise each other with it when the mood takes you
lol NbN ...after 30 yrs it would be hard to spring a surprise, we staill manage to ring some changes though
i have to agree with Naughtybutnice.....it's good to have an idea of interests/limits for future use, not a ' ah ok let's go and tick those off right now'.
Lol, fair point! I don't know how long shywife has been with her husband by my OH and I have only been together 3&1/2 years and have always been 'mildly' kinky but only recently started opening up about our more adventurous fantasies. I'm just offering advice on what worked for us and he has surprised me quite a bit by wanting to try things I never thought he would and even changing his mind from 'I'd never do that' to 'actually let's give it a go' and 'wow, that's amazing!' lol. Maybe shywife's husband will surprise her too and this will be the start of something wonderful?