Hey guys
Would love to hear others opinions
I have the most amazing OH. Gorgeous, intelligent, loving lady.
But sexually its very vanilla and ive tried things.
Tell her my fantasies and i was open but when it came to her she didnt really say anything.
I know ppl are different.
She has never masterbated, used a sex toy etc.
I find it so puzzling.
Hey guys
For me personally, before I got with my hubby, I never masturbated or owned a sex toy due to my past.
He taught me a lot of things over the years, gained my trust, I came out off my shell and now we own quite a bit of lingerie, toys and bondage.
I never masturbated till I was in my 40’s @Curioushubby01 and only used a sex toy with a partner…
You say she is very vanilla…if she is happy with your sex life then that’s fantasic. Means you are satisfying her needs…
If you are feeling you need more then you need to have a conversation when you both have the time and not in the bedroom…maybe look through the Lovehoney site together and see if she suggests anything?
You say she is amazing gorgeous…intelligent and loving…you are a lucky bloke to have all that…try to talk…talk and talk some more.
You never know she may end up more neopolitan than you think.
Good Luck.
Thanks Jilly, oh she is all those and i am so lucky
But its just very plain!
I want some excitement, i am very open minded and open to doing anything to be honest, and i’d love if she would even come a fraction of the way and try something new.
@Curioushubby01 As an old timer I can look back over the years and understand where you are at . My wife was not exactly vanilla when we were first married , but was rather hampered from too much “training” growing up . In her mind anything slightly out of normal was considered dirty or perverted . She gradually loosened up a bit and we had a bit more fun . We were married quite a few years and were at a family reunion ( of cousins ) and she drank a lot . After arriving at hotel after party we took a shower and were in the process of 69ing . Without warning a finger slid in my bum . That was the night I found out she had wanted to preform anal play on me for 15 years and sober would never say so . We enjoyed a kinkier sex life for some years before her disabilities kept her from any kind of sex life . You just never know when or what may peek a person’s interest . Time , trust and communication are key . The challenge is not pushing the subject too much . I often hinted at different things in the sexual arts , often in a playful manor . Good luck !
Can be a tricky ground to navigate through
It sounds like you have a fantastic life with your wife. Yes she may be vanilla but if she is happy then great for her. If you want more then you need to have a serious conversation with her to see if a compromise can be achieved. Not everyone wants to be into kinky things. It can be just right to be vanilla. Comunication between parties is key.
Helllooooo, well communication may be the key, start her off slowly, brouse the site for lingerie with her and then progress to couples toys…
I can relate to that @Curioushubby01 . During courtship my gf was pretty hot.
She started to cool when we married - no more BJs. We did massages by the fire, I got a massage table, and some toys, and occasional outdoor fun. But sex became a once a week ‘routine’ it seemed. I found ways to relieve myself.
Anyway, for a number of reasons, frustration and poor communication being big ones, we separated a year ago after 33 years of marriage, and 7 years of ‘courtship’. The fire had gone out.
Have you tried the massage route? A great way to get intimate.
