i agree it's all in the trust. and the stop word.
Hey, you posted elsewhere about him wanting anal sex yeah? Start with saying, that's your fantasy, so would you like to try out one of mine? Most guy's will be up for that! I think scarves are a great palce to start, coz you'll probably already have them (or a dressing gown belt). All you need is a bed that had slats etc Hell even just being held down by him can be damn kinky as a place to start.
No feck danni you didn't sorry! Well start with what you do that he likes, and ask him to do something you like.
lol well as it happens one thing he wanted to try was anal and he has tried it! i tihnk now its his turn to try one of my fantasies! :D
I went out with the most georgous guy once for more than six months without having sex. We'd been friends for some years before and everything else seemed right, but eventually I broke it off with him - I thought he couldn't really be interested in me if he didn't want to have sex with me.
Later, once we were both married to other people, I discovered he felt he couldn't have sex with anyone for the first time unless he had them tied down. He hadn't wanted to risk our relationship and our friendship by telling me. Not telling me ended up distroying our relationship, although not our friendship.
And the truth is I would have been so up for it.
He bought me and my husband a leather cuffs with chains as our wedding present and they are probably the most used and treasured present we were given.
And the moral of this tale is clearly you have to tell the one you desire about what you desire.
i have to agree with misty69, i recently bloged a poll in yahoo360 asking if people considered themselves to be sub or Dom, we ended up with 2 sheep for 30+ shepherds, its amazing how many will never 'get' that its the sub that really holds the power, or that any BDSM activity is infact WAY more about trust than about the sex, i've said it often on other threads here and many of the other places i write...we are none of us 100% of any one thing, variety surprise communication and trust are essential, and the longer any 2 people are together the more this is true
(damn i'm just way too deep somedays lol ...sorry)
How to tell your man? Easy, just tell him. See how he reacts when he pins you down and if he lickes it. I love it when a woman expresses her ideas for new ways of sex.
tie yourself up in sexy bedroom gear and wait for him to come in..the image will be stored under "things to fantasize about" and he will build on it in his head from there and make the leap into wqnting to try more himself
Simply put, you don't get if you don't ask! You can share your fantasies without making him feel he has to do anything to fulfil them if he hates the idea, but a little light bondage may turn him onto the idea. Just make sure you have trust, honesty and a good safe word! :op
Most men are worried about going too far in a bondage situation when you first start exploring this, they're worried about the level of responsibility that they hold when you're all trussed up and tied down.
The only thing you can do is talk to him, reassure him that you won't let him hurt you (so long as he abides by your "safe word"), introduce ideas and toys slowly and don't allow your eagerness to explore any of this to become the catalyst for your own demise. What I mean is, don't just blurt out everything you want to experience in one hit, that will probably just freak him out as he begins to wonder how long you've been thinking about this, how far you've gone with it before and his comparative inexperience.
Start out with soft scarfs, use them as ties and blindfolds and even gags (if you're gagged make sure you have a "safe signal" in place when you start out, eg, hold a ball or another toy in your hand, when you drop it, that's his sign to stop) and work up from there.
Oh, quick point, just make sure that anything you use isn't too tight - especially if it's around a pulse point - and make sure he can get you out of it quickly if he needs to (use bows instead of knots in scarfs or make sure you have a good, sharp pair of scissors to hand should you need them).
Above all, have fun and make sure he is too. If you can assure him that you've thought about this from all the safety angles, the only thing he's left to do is.... enjoy himself!
danni.yelly wrote:
i like the thought of bondage since i love it when my boyfriend pins me down in sex. i'd love to try out a bit more in this area but im not sure how to tell my boyfriend as im not sure he would like the idea, any ideas?
just come out and ask him. and before you know it he will be down to b@q buying rope.one word of caution
though DO NOT USE NILON ROPE as it cuts into you and its not nice.use cotton rope or better still buy silk rope witch is a lot kinder to the skin .i think you can buy that on LH but you can check.i dont know how far you want to get into bondage.but i do know of a good web site that sells good qualaty bondage gear .like leather wrist and ankle straps and also a good line in ballgags and ballgag harness.if you want to go down that way mail me back and i can give you the address.its lots of fun i say go for it girl
also i like to say that i totaly agree what his rabbit has said she makes some good and valid points
thank you his rabbit
I think the easiest way is to do this:
Say to him, I really like it when you hold me down, I like the feeling of being powerless, it makes every sensation so much stronger and gives me a massive sexual buzz. Then say, can we try maybe you tying my hands or using handcuffs so I can really feel completely at your mercy? You could suggest a blindfold, too. Or use verbal domination - he could order you to do as he says - and spank you if you disobey him (which would be fun lol).
You could suggest if he didn't like hand cuffs as in metal ones, to try something pervertible (an every day object that can have a sexual use too) that you already have at home, a scarf could tie your hands, so could one of his ties or even a length of ribbon.
Also you can buy rubber hand cuffs, just thought I'd mention that because theya re easy to get out of in case you deide you don't want to be restrained at some point.
Work on it form there, discuss and find out what you both like. Talk openly together about your fantasies, what you want and what you hope for. When opening a sexual door communication is the most important first step to adventures!
Have a safe word.
Do'nt tie anything too tight. Check bonds during your fun to make sure nothing's worked its way tighter.
Never tie anything around the neck area.
Keep it safe sane and consensual.
And above all, have fun.
And make time for a discussion about where role play could come into this - light bondage has so much scope in the world of fantasy play!
Hope this helps - and have fun
Nexas wrote:
This thread is almost a year old LOL
And...............................................................
TB.
Mmm I'm not sure what to suggest other than if you watch pornography together maybe watch one that has bondage as the theme and say how you like that and why. Then start asking if he likes it and if he says yes maybe ask to try it out sometime?
Hope this helps! =)