how do you introduce a bit of something in a very vanilla but very happy relationship

Sex Tips & Talk
1

In a very happy relationship , sex is amazing but very vanilla. Tend to alternate between missionary and me on top ... occasionally doggie if I ask for it .

He is up for oral sex and very ready to please. I am natural submissive and would love for him to take charge.

Would so love to introduce toys, bondage and definitely anal into the bedroom but how do I without scaring him off .

I have a much higher sex drive than him ... he calls me his horny nymph. So don't wanna have him running for the hills.

Tried browsing love honey One afternoon and showed him ... didn't show much interest except maybe get some massage candles.

Not sure if he isn't interested or he doesn't wanna scare me.

Advice please as my lovely collection of toys is going dusty hehe

2

He’ll do doggie if you ask for it.
Does he enjoy it?

Yes you might hope he’ll initiate more and let you be the submissive one … but that’s your fantasy and not the reality you currently live in.

I suspect he really cares for you, and is perhaps just happy doing something as long as you’re happy. If he asks to do something, he’ll likely be worried about rejection and/or offending you.

Have you spoken to him about what you’d like him to do re: being more assertive, suggestive etc? Until you give him a clear pathway, he may just stick to what he knows he can trust.

Many of us ‘straight’ guys love our women, and know how pressured you can be under to ‘perform’. A lot of us don’t want to be that guy, so we stay conservative.

3

Have you tried asking him if he has any fantasies?
Don’t ask in the bedroom - less pressure if you ask that question when you’re not naked!
Try watching a show with him like Sex, Love and Goop - it’s not all amazing, but it’s a perfect show to get a couple wondering about how you can add to your sex life. Worked wonders for me and my wife!
Do you ever touch yourself while making love? cos that usually adds a ton of heat to the situation.
What about lingerie? Do you like dressing up in sexy undies or costumes?
My wife will often do a sexy dance in a sexy outfit.
Hotel rooms can turn it into a special night too I find :grinning: :fire: :smile:

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I don’t have any solid advice on this as I am struggling at times with the same. I find bridging the void between normal conversation out of the bedroom and then changing it to asking about what my OH would like to try more of is a challenge for me. (But one I will manage to crack). I would love to bring up various suggestions and fantasies and then I find I struggle to articulate them to my wife and when I do make a bit of an effort she tends to shut down the convo… I have saved a handful of items on LH website for us to go thru however, just waiting for the right time to say ‘I reckon we should treat our selves to a new toy, I have favourited a few, do you want to help choose one?’