If it’s something that’s not natural to you then I wouldn’t worry about trying to force it as anyway it’ll probably feel awkward to you when trying…
Alternatively maybe some visual research may help through watching porn clips that indulge in dirty talk.
Sorry for the delay in updating.
So, during a long car drive at the weekend, we talked, and I explained how I felt in the moment, how difficult I was finding it ( the Austistic small talk aspect is something she already understands) but that its something I really wanted to be able to do well because she enjoyed it so much.
Then followed a very open and detailed discussion of what things she was hoping to hear, what expressions, memories and fantasies turn her on, and importantly for my particular issue, why they turned her on. Basically she gave me the entire manual on what works for her and why.
AuDHDs contradictions manifest in the same way as Orwells Doublethink. The Autism needs certainty, order and familiarity, the ADHD needs novelty, urgency and variety. At the same time.
So being able to grab xyz from my stock library is great but after the first time I’ll shut down or scream. Understanding why it turns her on though gives me something to build on and deliberately vary in order to create novelty and maintain interest while knowing its still likely to work for her.
I think she found it a little over analytical in the moment ( how many of us really know why something turns us on? ) but its helped. We’ve yet to properly dive in but we’re looking forward to it.
So again thanks to everyone for your input and support.
And a particular shout out to @LRLRL for the time and effort you put in. I really appreciate the insight, understanding, anecdotes and sensible advice. I actually cried reading it. Thank you.