How to bring up the idea of anal play with my man

So my OH is easy going and we have a very forfilling sex life. But when it comes to anal play it seems it's fine to play with me but he's not keen on the idea for himself.

I'd like to take control for a change, I feel like he's missing out too, I've heard the joys of prostate massage and even pegging but I don't really know how to encourage him with it. He likes it when I massage his bum while we do other stuff but how can I go about taking it further?

Also I've never massaged a prostate before...any tips?

you could bring it up telling him its a fantasy of yours and see how he reacts or tell him you will do something you usually dont do if he will do this for you.

massaging the prostate, use plenty of lube and be firm but gentle his reaction will tell you if you are doing it right.

hope it helps :)

same with my oh he is very open minded and we try lots of things, he has played with mine & we even got an anal toy, but when I suggested I play with his he did'nt seem keen?

Do men actually enjoy this? Do men really get off on it?? Again any help and tips would be great?

try watching porn together that have scenes male anal play, see how he reacts, if he isnt put off raise the subject with him. if that does work get him drunk and try again lol

Im going to be super hypocritical, I love to have sex with a women up the bum - but would be horrified if anyone tried to do it with me... I know it does not make sense

I love it when my partner plays with my ass, at first I was like hell no,never!!! But when she persuaded me I began to love it. When your giving him a hj/bj start with playing with his balls as your pleasuring his penis then slowly move down and massage and lick his perineum ( good chance to add plenty if lube/saliva. Slowly work your way down to his back door like just the odd stroke between his cheeks and over his entry. good opportunity To judge his reaction if he doesn't seem bothered then get more daring each time and stay their longer. Just take if time with it and I'm sure he'll come round to the idea.

My problem is I don't think I can use my fingers. See I have long nails, don't want to do any damage. Maybe I need to get a super slim small vibrator and see if he will let me play with that down there...any suggestions please?

Thank you for the help already :)

I love Anal play, and would be happy to extoll it's virtues to your OH. If you want to use your fingers maybe acquire some medical gloves, this is how we started. See if he is willing to wear a plug, or beads and whip them out as he cums.
You'll know to use plenty of lube.
As an introduction maybe just press your thumb over his anus as you give him bj, slipping in can follow.
Orgasms involving Anal stimulation are way better than regular ones for me, and maybe that's your way in with him. Surely everyone wants the best orgasms they can?
Do u have a deluxe wand? The G spot attachment is awesome for prostate massage - read my review on it for more.

Although some others have said surprise him I would warn against that, especially if he isn't that open to it. Can give a guy a real shock and not only ruin what you were already doing but for him the idea of having it done again.
Be open and tell him it's a fantasy of yours and just work up to it without any huge steps. I think watching porn (if you do that together) with anal stimulation would be a start (maybe something that not centred on it though) and just see what you can incorporate. A little penetration while getting a bj/hj is a great place to start or even rimming. Nails are really a no go so I'd recommend to start with a the lovehoney basics beginners plug or probe which are great.
If he is still not that keen you could even let him have a look on the forums here and read how many of us guys enjoy this kinda thing. Hope that helps.

Thanks guys. SS I don't have the deluxe wand YET! But am planning to in the future. Perhaps the medical gloves will be enough to cover up the nails!

I agree TS, surprise isn't the way to go, but porn is a good to hunt for some good porn...damn what a shame ;)

product.cfm?p=4463 . I get great pleasure out of prostate massage my OH is very skilled at it. She will use a gloved finger or this prostate massager. Its not gay , she likes the control over me. It is akin to the female Gspot and with practice my OH has got me to leak a lot of precum without penial stimulation over time you can have almost an orgasm with out actually comming. It takes time alot of lube and communication. your finger needs to go in beyond the second knuckle and just like your Gspot its a small bump up towards the gap beween the ass and the base of the penis inside. Go slow and talk to your man it can be very sensitive

He will know when you are on it as you get a shot of pleasure right through his penis, I even get this feeling in my belly button. Talk to him and see what motion he likes. For me the just like a gentle but firm rub on your gspot, with the massager Just get the head to sit on the prostate and vibrate.

Best position is me kneeling in front of my OH this gives the best access also you can rub the outside of the same spot and very gently trap it inbetween. My OH says she can feel the viberater through the wall. The other plus with this if you are getting it right you can see the clear precum running out. My OH loves this and this whats known as PROSTATE MILKING and it is exqusite. Then you can allso pull the penis and make him come normally at the same time, you will get more full come than normal. Good luck enjoy, if you have any other ?s I will look out for them on this thread.

I look at it like this....If its something I want to do with you (my partner) then I at least have to try it out myself (if possible). So in this case I think if I want to try anal then I at least have to be open to the idea of letting her try it on me.

I would personally not try and surprise him with an accidental finger slip up the bottom. I would just ask him would he like to try it, if you go slow and gentle at first and allow him to lead/give direction during. Go by whatever his answer may be. If he is not keen, and your chat still ends up in a "no" then you just have to respect that he already knows he won't enjoy it, or is not willing to try it, and let it go. See, he has already told you he is not keen and if I told by guy I was not keen on something, and he "surprised" me with it anyway just because he wanted to try it...I would NOT be happy.

However, it is still worth a few more chats, for sure. I mean, ask him what his worries are? is it mess? or pain? or any kind of ideas about what it means if he enjoys it? Or has he done it before and it hurt? Try to pin point why he is not keen on the idea and talk together about it. You can always offer reassurance to him about his fears and lead to him being willing to give it a try.

Good luck x

Have you got a stash of anal toys? My OH has progressed to larger toys so we have some smaller ones going to waste, she suggested rather than them clog up the bottom draw we could try them on me, I pretended to be willing to try without her not knowing I was well up for as I had dabbled in anal play behind her back, the only way you'll find out is to bring it up somehow, Men are either no way ever with anal or secretly want it!

Its not something ive ever wanted to try but i told my OH that if he wanted it then hed have to understand what it felt like for me so i used our mini butt plug lubed it up n slipped it in. That way he understood that when i told him it hurt or felt uncomfortable he knew how uncomfortable it can be. xx

GG thank you so much for explaing that so detailed I appreciate it. Which prostate masssger do you use? Not sure if you posted a link but its not showing on my phone.

Well we had another chat and he is worried about discomfort which is fair enough. But he did say he would be willing to try prostate massage if we took it slowly.

Fluffbags thank you and everyone else. You have gven me the confidence to even raise the topic with him. :)

MissTig wrote:

GG thank you so much for explaing that so detailed I appreciate it. Which prostate masssger do you use? Not sure if you posted a link but its not showing on my phone.

Well we had another chat and he is worried about discomfort which is fair enough. But he did say he would be willing to try prostate massage if we took it slowly.

Fluffbags thank you and everyone else. You have gven me the confidence to even raise the topic with him. :)

Hi MT, Sorry yes dont sure why the link isnt working. I have just reviewed it so if you go to my profile page you will see it. Thanks for becoming a friend. Take it slow,bath and a massage. Put a couple of pillows under his tummy. He will have to be very comfortable to give himself over to you. Do a lot of massage around his bum if he relax's it will relax too. this part of the body is the same for both sex's so if you want know how it feels do it on your self first. We use Sliquid silver lube( I have reviewed this too). He is a very lucky man that you want to do this for him. He needs to relax and trust you and it will be amazing for him. For you, my OH gets a real feeling of closeness and the thrill of control. Good luck let us know how you get on. I will keep an eye on this thread if you want any more help

Thank you so much GG. I really appreciate it. Going to treat him to a nice bath and massage at the weekend, will let you know how it goes. :)

GG Just bought that prostate massager you reviewed, will be here on Saturday so planning a nice early night. Will let you know how it goes. :) I'm actually feeling pretty nervous, don't want to make him uncomfortable in any way.