how to use a vib

Hun have you seen any one about this lack of orgasm? you may have a small problem or even a phycological block, lack of orgagsm is a terrible thing you should get checked out!
But in the mean time try using a lube that warms the area and see if you can get some feeling down there!!
Please keep us informed! ALL THE BEST

thanks but i have seen so many professionals about this even had hypno!

we got ky warming stuff and durex heat aswell and i cant even tell if they do a thing either they just feel like runny lube, just a bit thinner than the normal and more like using baby oil. certainly dont feel any warmer in me.

well you have got me baffeled... what did the professionals say?
Did they even have any useful advice for you?

ok heres what happened

saw gp she sent us to sex therapy, was put on sensate focus for moths on end and with no improvement at all, infact i had panick attacks then aswell,
saw gynie tried testosterone implants over 9 months, got to the highest does and ended asking what where they meant to do?
went to gp to get viagra, as the gynie said it would help and i fited the criteria for getting it, she gave me some pills and then i went back for more and they refused to give me them, she had told me a pack of lies regarding the funding etc for it, i complained to the practise and now im left with no gp

oh not once has any doctor been able to look inside of me to check things out as im screaming my head off to get the speclum out of me

oh and then add to that the tv programme i took part in that was shown last weekend on channel 4, the only reason that anything happened with the doctors then was that they were getting shown up and had to be seen to be doing something even if it did nothing at all to help, hence why they sent me to a dermotologist, she looked at everywhere on me and then gave me excema cream as i do have that but this had nothing to do with the sex problems!!

As this doesn't appear to be a physical problem (and you've been checked out enough to realise that), maybe there's some unconscious mental block you're putting up to orgasming. It might be worth thinking about going to see a hypnotherapist, who could help you unlock it.

BTW, I know you said you've already seen a hypno, but some are really rubbish! Some are excellent, of course - you need to find one that really understands your problem and genuinely believes they can help you. All should offer you a free initial appointment for you to talk it over. I'd say it was definitely worth another go.

well perhaps i could understand what your saying about the ment part of it, but bear this in mind too please, until i went and saw the doctor last year, i didnt know that women where meant tohave orgasms, i thought that was totally a male thing so how could i be blocking it out if i didnt know that i was meant to have them? it was then that i was told about owning a clit aswell, til then i had no idea, but i did come out that office feeling a totaly fool and very disapointed with my husband for keeping this from me all that time as he knew about that stuff and actually thought i did have orgasms but never asked me a thing about it before then for him to realise i knew nothing. he was as shocked as me but for totally different reasons

and althiugh i had been to a few anne summers parties i never once understood why any woman would buy them i never once heard anything about orgasms for women before that doctors visit, so why would a woman put a dildo or vib on her? i just didnt have a clue

Must admit I have never heard of anyone with such a lack of knowledge about their own body or how it functions. You felt angry with your husband for not telling you that you had a clitoris? The reverse of that would be you having to tell him he had a penis! Your husband assumed you had orgasms without ever asking? Sounds like your marriage could use some work. I don't understand how the sex counselling didn't work, but if I were you I would go back and be completely honest about your lack of knowledge about your body. Other than that the only advice I can offer is to relax and not get too hung up about your lack of orgasms. The more you focus on orgasm the harder it is to reach one. You have to begin by finding out what turns you on first, for most women orgasm starts in the head. Try erotic fiction or porn movies (the movies made by a women director would be a good start). Most women fantasise during mastrubation, get yourself a good fantasy, no censoring your thoughts, take some time out for yourself and explore your body. Find out what turns you on, once you have discovered what pleases you and brings you to orgasm, then share that with your husband. If you find vibrators and dildos threatening, use your hands at first. Keep working on the problem and good luck.

yes i felt angry at him , he knew about a clit, he ignored it, never talked about it, and totally left that alone. the sex councelling didnt work as the woman we saw didnt listen to a word either of us told her, we did as she asked and when it went wrong all she said was more of the same, for months on end, and it never got any better.
so ok im not just on about orgasms here ok, i just want to feel something from the start, to know when im aroused would be a help!i dont read at all, books that is the words mean nothing to me at all and i forget what i read before i turn the page over, movies i.e. porn just remind me of how useless i actually am in the sack and i end up crying, i cant fantasise not for the lack of trying but my mind is like a tv turned off, its totally blank. i wouldlove to be able to find anyway to get myself even just wet never mind orgasm but my fingers sont have any effect same with his.

Self esteem and self worth seem destroyed here. You need find some type of porn or similar that makes you feel good within yourself, not completing against porn stars.Things which may not be mainstream may be less threatening to you. Just hope you find something that makes to feel good within yourself and you learn to be comfortable with your own body. Good luck honey.

Do they do books for women " Teach yourself to Masturbate" ?
Or in view of your dislike for reading on DVD / Video.

i went to new yorklast year to have a woman teach me how to masterbate and still i got nowhere and couldnt feel a thing for trying that i didnt even manage to get wet!!
i have read everything i can on the internet and it pressumes that you know how to arouse yourself and then to know when you are and i dont

The only possible thing I can suggest is something on the lines of Durex Tingle lube maybe you've tried it? Its too sensative for a lot of women (my wife included) but you'd certainly feel something down there using it, I only hope it would be pleasurable for you.

yeah that stuff burns me real bad like putting chilli on me, but tastes ok tho on him!!

I think your husband needs to play an active part in this. May i ask a few questions...1: Do you have kids? 2: Is your husband the romantic type? 3: Is your husband your first lover? What i'm saying is that maybe you two need to spend some quality time together i.e candles, smell..Aromatherapy, as someone mentioned, it all starts in the head.

yes we have 3 kids they are grown up now, romantic type? not sure what you mean, yes hes the only person ive been with. we do spend time with each other we go away regularly like ever 2 weeks without the kids, and i don tse how some candles and smellies is going to make me feel something that i cant already feel perhaps it might be better if you asked me on email tentmad@hotmail.com

yes hubby came home las tyear raving aboutthis stuff that hed seen in the newspapers so we gave it a go, when it arrived it was in small sachets, so tried it, it amounted to nothing more than really smelly and bad smelling i mean here ok baby oil, it did nothing at all and actually made me feel ill with the smelll of it, the rest of the order got sent back and refunded.

the sex theraphist we saw did the sensate focus with us for months, i hated every single second of it to the point that i had bad panick attacks before and during but when we told the therapsit she sent us away to do more of the same, til we got to the poin tof teling her that she before either listen to what we are telling her and come up with a better idea or we leave, she never had anything else in the book she was reading so that was the end of that.