My man loves it.I think it's appealing to his alpha male side,being dominant.And it's what i'm looking for in a partner,that's why we've been together for almost 4 years.
But..there are things that I can never convince him to do,like pegging.So we're using anal toys on me and he'll either get curious in time or not.And if he doesn't,I'll have to accept it,if I want us to be together.Don't force him to do anything he doesn't want to.
Anyway, to get back to the topic of the unkinky male other half - I suggest tying him down with a pillow under his arse and his balls in the air and wanking him very slowly. If you can keep it slow enough he'll be begging to do anything you want by the time he does come. And if he breaks his promise, next time don't stop immediately he's had enough. That should get him ready to punish you a bit the time after that...
OP TOPIC:
I would say that if you have told him you want to be spanked and he is uncomfortable, I would have a none sexual convesation around why he is uncomfortable. It took a long time for MRS and I to figure out our drives, likes, dislikes - many of those went agaisnt assumptions. As an example I enjoy rough sex now because she did but I did not at first. Part of it was because I had the idea that I did not want to like it because "what is wrong with me if I get off on hurting someone I love". Another issue was what if I actually hurt her?! Yet another peice was the insecurity of it not being romantic enough (and not lasting long enough) and thus I would not actually please her. All in the end (no pun intended) we grew through it but it took conversation and small steps.
I hope that helps
~CB
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Please read the forum rules QuoJo - and everybody else drop it before this gets even more out of hand then it has already.
rogerthechorister wrote:
Anyway, to get back to the topic of the unkinky male other half - I suggest tying him down with a pillow under his arse and his balls in the air and wanking him very slowly. If you can keep it slow enough he'll be begging to do anything you want by the time he does come. And if he breaks his promise, next time don't stop immediately he's had enough. That should get him ready to punish you a bit the time after that...
So, essentially, manipulating him into doing something that perhaps just doesn't turn him on? Can't help but feel if it was a guy on here talking about something his female OH didn't want to do, the suggestion of manipulating her into it would be seen - quite correctly imo - as a violation.
We don't all have the same turn-ons and kinks - some people don't get turned on at all by domination: I think it's pretty disrespectful to keep pushing something.
+1 Englishrose. Been kinky most of my life but still not into domination, i can fully understand someone who is not that kinky being turned off by it. Plenty more ways you can have fun with a partner. I recon dam few of us fully realise all of our fantasy's but if you get try at least some of them...
DavidB1986 wrote:
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Please read the forum rules QuoJo - and everybody else drop it before this gets even more out of hand then it has already.
+1
DavidB1986 wrote:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/help/forum-rules/
Please read the forum rules QuoJo - and everybody else drop it before this gets even more out of hand then it has already.
I'm really trying to but I'm itching to keep it going. Be the bigger man, be the bigger man!! Good night :)
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Maybe hes just not into it? Youd soon be on here complaining if he tried to force you into something you dont like.
We men can have opinions and feelings too as shocking as that seems to be to some.
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Honestly, i'm a firm believer that if someone says "no" it means no, and its just rude/selfish to ask again. Look at it from this persepective. You're not happy with just "vanilla" sex, and you keep trying to force your partner into being "kinky" which they don't want. You're basically making it seem like your wants are more important than his, and that you're the one who should get their own way. Instead of continually pushing for spanking, why not discuss some alternative things that could spice up your sex life, and try to find things that you're both interested in and willing to try? Every good relationship has compromise, and your husband should compromise too and atleast try a few new things, but sometimes you just have to accept something (which for your husband is spanking) is a definite "no". For me, that definite no is anal sex, and i had a partner who basically told me he was going to force me in to anal by tying me up so i wasn't in a position where i could refuse. Totally 180 turn arround from being open to try bondage to now i'd never even consider it, even with a new partner. Ok you're not going to nearly those extremes, but it is very upsetting when a partner refuses to accept there are some things that no ammount of coersion or badgering is going to change.