I don't know whether I am qualified to comment, as the desires you express are not any that I have encountered in my partners, and I don't think its in my nature to be capable of abuse, albeit consensual.
I am in no way judgemental, but even within the standards of this forum the scenarios outlined seem pretty extreme.
My concern would be whether it would be possible to keep such extreme desires from bleeding into your everyday life and not consuming it.
I imagine that along with physical reminders there will be psychological effects. I realise that you have experienced these in the past and have enjoyed the experience, but is it not difficult to keep the abuse purely sexual?
Again I have zero experience in these desires and behaviours and I am sure there are plenty of folks here who can give a more balanced view.
Lots and lots of people engage in similar activities and when done within the context of a safe, sane and consenual BDSM relationship or exchange then actually it is in my experience more likely to enhance the rest of someones life not bleed into it and harm it in anyway. For me it is actually a way for me to truly let go, be free and afterwards I always feel a lot better. But I'm a Masochist and I enjoy the pain, it gives me a sexual, phyiscal and emotional high.
However that said it's only enjoyable with the right person, and again most people who are into anything like this only go into it with someone they trust 100%, due to the nature of the activities that wish to engage in.
This isn't abuse in the sense of how you may be envisaging it, when it's part of your sexual desires it becomes part of sexual activity too. So I would often engage in forms of foreplay prior to a beating, then afterwards there would be kissing and cuddles, which then in turn leads to stuff getting steamy. So it's not a case of someone just dishing out physical abuse and leaving you to it. There's aftercare and support, and having someone provide this desire for you is very intimate.
Also I don't think it is that extreme within the context of this site, however maybe the wording may be a little different to what we normally see. We have lots of people on this site who are into floggers, paddles, canes, bare hand spanking, to a certain degree this is what they are into, whether they are a total beginner and just want a few taps to those of use who have an arsenal of implements with which to be hit. It's just different ends of the same scale i think.
I think it's also worth noting that I think with the BDSM community a lot of words are used that with the context of a BDSM scene or relationship take on an altered meaning, I know I now use words that prior to getting into BDSM I would have never used with regards to my sexual enjoyment for example, used, abused, various derogatory names etc. But when the time is right and you have the right partner suddenly they come with a whole new world of enjoyment.
Admittedly this isn't going to be for everybody, but it is definitely enjoyed by lots of people safely and without causing harm to their lives xx