I actually feel like I am doing the same things too often.
What do you do to mix it up?
Our first year we had plenty of sex, we still have sex of course but I feel like I have let things slip a bit. I feel like I need to be more exciting and lead my woman to more amazing varied and pleasurable experiences
I actually feel like I am doing the same things too often.
I think l have fallen in the same trap as you, the thing is l am not communicating with my GF. It suddens me because she doesn't try and expects me to do everything. However, I think communication is key to spice up things in the bedroom
Took 20 years of marriage and a spectacular bottle of some very nice red wine for Mrs Sen and I to really open up. Life had been in a rut, sex on sat, BJ on Sun, then nothing during the week, even just a peck / kiss good bye in the morning, hi in the evening.
Once we started to talk we both let out our "inner perverts" about things we wanted to try, what needed improving, things we liked etc. A whole new world opened up.
We now have a fairly decent toy collection, restraints, mask, flogger plus front and back toys for both of us.
We were talking about it last night. The improved sex is great, we are both happy there, but it has also brought us closer outside the bedroom, we are far more affectionate, we just enjoy each other's company more.
Its the little things that keep it alive for me... grabbing my bum, snogging me randomly...also the romantic bits, a little note I find in my pocket or a bunch of flowers.... but mostly when I no he finds me sexy - he will comment on what im wearing, or how ive done my hair that day... when i get undressed/dressed he will look at me, make a comment about a bit of my body that turns him on.... it makes me feel wanted & sexy... because of these little gestures conversation will get a bit adventurous & we start talking about new things wed like to try etc....xx
Thank you everyone for your replies.
All sounds great!
Communication is always key and to not neglect what you have already. Opening up can be difficult as a lot of people are worried your going to think differently about them, but it's worth just having a nice night in and try and ask what your partner would like to try and tell her what you would like to do too. We sometimes just browse sex toys and have a giggle which leads us to buying loads of stuff! But it's always fun and brings out the animinal side in us
We fell into the same rut after having kid we had experimented with toys before but it just didn't happen, then one night we sat and looked through love honey bought some things and gave them a try , we then started looking through the forums opening up to each other about sexual desires things we would like to try my god were back to like when we first met can't keep our hands of each other , I would most definitely say communication is the key , speaking a little more dirty ect things Mr M says he's loving the confidence boost I have now the sexy lingerie really Gives me the wow factor too now we have a good little collection on the go xx we also use little code words when the little ears are about
I find it difficult to talk openly with my wife and she is also the same. The best way we communicate is by text. Much much easier! and you can also send her and recieve photos too which is always a bonus. I generally lead the way and my sex drive is more often than not higher than hers. But it works. hope you find a way to communicate effectively too. Whatsapp, fb messenger, text, email - whatever!
17 years together and we had the same thing after having our daughter. I agree with everyone else who has said communication is the most important thing in any relationship. You have to really be able to open up about anything, not just the sexual side of things, with your partner. We talked and talked and talked and at the end of it all we felt so much closer AND learned a few things about each other. Fantasties that the other wanted to try, things that we both liked but had never said before etc. We did some shopping on Lovehoney and bought some bits which gave us a good starting point and now, a few years down the line, we are better than ever! We keep the spark there by working at it; sending dirty messages to each other, pics and videos, watch porn together sometimes, shop for toys together, tell each other we think they are sexy, snatch little moments when we can for a kiss or a quick grope All these little things make us both feel loved and keeping the communication lines open we are both confident enough to open up to one another.
I really like massaging my other half and being massaged by him. It's easy and you can't go wrong with it but it's a great way to be intimate with each other and explore and appreciate each other's skin. It almost always leads to sex too! On the nights that it doesn't, we've both had a nice sensual massage and we feel a greater connection because of it.
If you find it hard to speak openly about erotic things, what about buying some unintimidating things such as fuzzy handcuffs or a silk blindfold ?
Begin with your usual lovemaking routine, then halfway through pull away and tell her she looks absolutely beautiful.
This is the perfect moment to slow down, ask if you can blindfold her, and take the time to kiss down her body, etc. Make her feel loved all over.
I know a lot of people with slightly less active or adventurous sex lives want it equal and fiery from the get go, but starting very gently and unselfishly is the best way to start something new.
And of course, everyone is different. Maybe she's turned on by thoughtful things such as cooking for her, or maybe the next special occasion that requires gift giving, along with usual things you could include a little tub of clitoral warming gel for her to gently broaden her horizons at her own pace ?
Either way, good luck ! <3