I never got much from it either until I taught my man to be soooo gentle that he's hardly touching me to start with and make sure you have loads of lube or are really wet. He wasn't particularly rough before but the softly softly touch is just exquisite - like a tongue! Try it yourself with you fingers - just barely touching, wherever it feels good, using plenty of lube. Once you are worked up a bit you can go harder and harder (well I can! ).
I would agree with that too I do think that where you are in your head has a lot to do with it. It wasn't until I got into the right frame of mind that I started to enjoy it, the situation helped LOL In the dark at a family party with my OH's hand strategically covered with a long flowing skirt. It was just for starters & really started me off for a great night when we got home C1
I think it can vary too depending on the technique. Guys can forget that women's bits are a lot more delicate than a penis, and whereas they might be quite happy to masturbate hard and fast to a climax, us ladies are a lot more complex.
Rather than letting him think you've been faking it all this time, maybe just tell a white lie and say you've 'gone off' fingering - sexual tastes do change over time - I can definitely vouch for that! I, too, don't get anything from playing with myself and I never have, but you could either get him to persevere and tactfully give him pointers, or just use it as an excuse to sit on his face! ;)
To add my 2p worth technique is important but good advice has been given , the head can be more important than the body. Relax, talk to your partner, leave fingering for a bit if you want. Maybe it just isn't for you. You enjoy sex apart from this I presume so just go with the flow.
alot of stuff on here is very good but i jst lke to add my little bit - i say try out some of the stuff people are suggesting and if it still isnt your thing move onto something and hav alot of fun with that instead - i know there some stuff i have tried and dont enjoy and tried again and still dont enjoy (not a real big fan of oral) so i just lead oh into doing something else!!
Evening lovelies,
I for one adore being fingered, I always have...from the first illicit and rushed fumblings up against a wall as a teenager, to the almost unbelievably intense g/p spot friggings that I have bestowed on me now by my expert BF which have me gushing obscenely over us both. It's got to the stage now where even after intense sex I usually crave a damn good frigging (after a tiny rest) to make me forcibly ejaculate his come along with mine, all over me...to squirt his thick white come back out of my own body is such an amazing turn on for us both!
In agreement with most, arousal is a state of mind and the mere thought of fingers slipping into me, feeling my wetness, does it for me every time.
Experiment, practice, persevere or move on if it just does not do it for you. There are no right and wrong things as far as sex is concerned, just what does it for you personally.
Good luck and just have fun every step of the way xx
I hated being fingered by my first boyfriend- the guy seemed to think the idea was to punch a hole in the lining of your uterus and do an aliens style exit manouver...
Teaching him how to do it right is the best tip, as other lovely people have said. Make sure you know what works by yourself first, so lock yourself in your room and masterbate, then you'll be better placed to tell him what to do.
Doesn't have to be as direct as 'Your crap do it this way'. Encouragment like 'I like when you [do it slower/ stroke not poke/ circle your finger round the front/ stick to the clit]' will probably work much better!
Good luck and have fun. If you don't crack it, then something else will work for you.
I have a simillar problem. As long as my BF takes his time and turns me on first so I'm nice and relaxed and wet fingering is fine but I hate Oral. I can't stand it. I don't even let him try it. The thought just makes me so squeamish. But my partner says he likes doing it. The strange thing is I don't have a problem giving blowjobs I just don't want him returning the favor. Any ideas?
jessicarabbit88 wrote:
I have a simillar problem. As long as my BF takes his time and turns me on first so I'm nice and relaxed and wet fingering is fine but I hate Oral. I can't stand it. I don't even let him try it. The thought just makes me so squeamish. But my partner says he likes doing it. The strange thing is I don't have a problem giving blowjobs I just don't want him returning the favor. Any ideas?
I am the other way round, I am not too bothered by blow jobs, so we tend to focus on the things we like and leave aside the things we don't care for. Probably a good idea to explore new things that interest you both, but you have not tried yet.
I reckon a person has the ultimate veto over what happens to their own body. I hate fingering from people who do it carelessly, without regard to how I'm responding. I adore fingering from people who are sensitive to my needs. No matter how much a person wants to finger me, I won't let them if they are so bad at it that I don't feel it's worth my effort in educating them.
In my opinion, every person is fully entitled to say "no" to anything to do with their body, regardless of the other person's desires.
As a guy we have to remember its about your pleasure not ours, My wife loves it and and I get a massive turn on as she comes, as I know what follows will be brill.
My OH didnt use to get much pleasure out of fingers so i mainly stuck to oral but over time shes sort of flipped on her axis and is the opposite.
I remember when i first fingered my first gf I had absolutely zero idea on how to do it. But over time my talents improved apparantley
Each to their own, I have a friend who isn't to fussed about blowjobs, thats just shocking to me! I adore them! Some people get off more on different things, its no biggie, and I just do have to say how much I hate olives!
I think theres a big difference between not liking doin something and being squimish Jessica. Do you feel you have any hang ups about it? I remember the first time I give oral on a unshaved pussy, now its shaved all the way in mine and my girlfriends opinion, makes her feel fresher, cleaner, sexier. You could pamper your pussy for a day so you feel sexy enough about it to give the poor guy oral! Its amazing! And thats just the lad's opinion!
I love to be fingered either by myself or from my bloke. However i cant stand it when i'm stood up. It feels different and i never get to cum. The moment i get near to, i feel my legs start to give way and i cant relax enough
I have to say i love my OH doing it wish he would more often!!
He manages to hit the right spot each time he does it....
Doing it myself is wick just feels so wrong to me but when the OH does it too me I'm loving it.
my 'x' used to complain my ring used to hurt her when i was giving her a good seeing too,
i dont wear a ring, was my watch
dai
Some ladies just don't enjoy that experience and there's nothing wrong with that, a very good friend of mine absolutely detestes having her pussy licked, i think she's mad but it just goes to show that there's nothing wrong with a bit of versatility! And it just goes to show how different we are, and that's normal and a great thing.
IF you do want to try and enjoy it it needs to be when you're comfortable and aroused enough. A nice glass of wine or a hooty should do it, and get your partner to keep their nails trimmed and preferably callous free! Try and find a lube that works with you as well, it should help you feel more comfortable if your partner is able to slip in and out with ease.
But hey, don't sweat it if it's still not for you. Different strokes for different folks and all that
x
I like fingering a lot more than him going down on me... Never could relax into being given cunnilinigus. His fingers curling inside me though..
dai wrote:
my 'x' used to complain my ring used to hurt her when i was giving her a good seeing too, External Media
i dont wear a ring, was my watch External Media
Pffft! Bloody hell dai, your 'x' must have had a bucket biff ! He he he
I never used to like being fingered, I think its cause the people I allowed to were clumsy and not very gentle, nothing worse than someone trying to poke u from the wrong angle and when you're not even wet and one of my exes used to have long fingernails! Ha ha yuk! External Media Now I love being fingered, fisted even. Its the quickest way to make me come, especially if I am being licked at the same time! Hmm!
PPB
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