Thanks for the welcome so far. Would love to wear tights out of the house even for a walk under shorts or something but the fear of people taking photos and posting them god knows where these days is awful. Any thoughts??
I think it’s quite common these days, so I think it’d be too much effort for anyone to take a photo and post it to the internet just because of that.
Have you worn them underneath some jeans and gone for a walk?
Yes have done that many times looking for the next stage really
I’m just thinking what I’d wear if I wanted to wear stockings/tights out and about, and I don’t think I’ve got an outfit that would do. They seem to suit skirts and dresses a lot more than jeans and t-shirts.
Personally I wouldn’t care if someone took a photo and posted it. It’d just be one more image to add to the 69 billion there already is. I would want them to blend in to my outfit though. What do people wear them with?
I thought under a pair of shorts? But would maybe have to wear nude tights so not so obvious??
It’s not my place - or anyone’s - to say “Aww hell yeah - just do it!” The judgement on whether you’d be safe to do this must be entirely yours: much depends on where you live and the ‘vibe’ of that community. But FWIW… when I first started wearing nail polish in public, I was pretty much hyperventilating with nerves. Now, I wouldn’t leave the house without checking that my nails are perfect!
When it comes to gender non-conforming items of dress or decoration, there comes a point in your life when you just get sick of hiding and being kept repressed by your own fear: a moment when you say “This is who I am, world, and I LIKE IT - get used to it, because I am not going away.”
And yeah, I think they’d look the business with denim shorts.
If you’re a bit worried about it being obvious then why not start with nude, assuming you already own a pair? Nude and shorts would definitely work as an ensemble as it wouldn’t be obvious and you’d just look like you’re wearing shorts.
(I think tights of any colour and shirt denim shorts is a banging look though!)
And cargo shorts are probably long enough to hide suspenders too, if that’s something you like as well as tights. You could go nude colour for the visible bits, but then the stocking tops/suspenders could be as out there as you like, depending non how public you feel like being.
Like @PleasureDrone says, only you can judge if you feel safe and comfortable to do it, but if you want to do then go for it, otherwise you’ll never stop thinking about it!
Yes well that’s it exactly I can’t stop thinking about it but also the consequences of people looking. Something to take my mind off it while I’m doing it might work
I did a quick google, only being able to imagine female examples in my head and came across this:
These guys are all pulling them off perfectly - particularly the bottom photos, and in different styles too. (I might be a little jealous, perhaps I should up my fashion game )
Something to take your mind off it seems smart - do you have a friend or someone you can go out with, they’ll help distract you and also give you the confidence of having emotional backup if you need it?
Not really I sometimes use xpanded phone chat I could do that I guess or if there was someone on here at the time. But yea someone to go with would work I guess.
If you need help to get yourself over that “being out in public” hurdle, let me propose a little plan (entirely up to you whether you want to, of course). It’s based on the advice I gave to help a friend of mine (who lives in a VERY macho, traditionally working class area of the North East) to become comfortable with wearing nails in public.
Get your tights-and-shorts look on, leave the house and just walk a short way - maybe just as far as the end of your road, you decide - maybe stand around for a bit, pretending to read the timetable on a bus-stop or suchlike, then stroll back home again. Don’t hunch, don’t scuttle, don’t run: just walk. If it helps, wear headphones to shut the world out and play some spirit-raising music.
Next day - or just a few hours later, whatever suits you - do it again. Make the walk a wee bit further this time.
The day after that …well you get my gist. Keep extending that little walk until it’s a big walk; until, frankly, you’re a bit bored! If your route happens to pass the corner shop, pop in and buy a pint of milk.
This is what my friend did, and it worked. He got back one day and texted me in a state of high excitement: “I went to the Post Office with my nails on show - the pink sparkly stuff. Nobody said a thing! In fact, TBH I was a bit disappointed!”
He hasn’t looked back since.
Will need to try something like this and don’t want wife finding out!!
Ahhh… there’s a partner in the mix. I didn’t realise. That changes things. As impossible as this might sound right now, I would really urge you to come out to your wife first. It’ll be a LOT better than having her find out from someone local who saw you in the street. She loves you, man: you need to open up to her before you start doing tights-in-the-street.
I’ll try. Don’t want her to know to much
I really do understand how you feel, mate - it’s your life, you know it best and I respect that - but keeping stuff like this secret can be corrosive in the long term.
Anyway, enough of me haranguing you! At least you can be yourself on here.
Just make sure you buy your own hosiery. There’s nothing that’ll give you away more than stretching out all her stuff.
Not just her stuff !!! you know @Ian_Chimp
That’s true and it’s great
What about wearing them in a quiet location. Maybe a woods? Boost your confidence up