I’m after any hints/tips for initiating lovemaking/sex.
I have little confidence, & normally it’s always hubby doing the initiating. However, I really want this to change but am apprehensive to say the least.
I have wondered what reaction I’d get from hubby if I changed into my new lingerie. Have night shirts which would cover my love honey revealing lingerie & get hubby to unbutton & reveal.
I do have a great lingerie collection, the collection used to get used all the time. But, not used at all over the last few months .
Any thoughts on this to the male members of the forum?
I always worry about initiating anything during the weeknights….especially after he’s had busy working days, (works from home).
Some of you will be aware I wanna christen all the rooms in my house, so initiating has to play a major part in that. Along with that we also wanna to try & conceive in the not to distant future. So again really important.
In danger of generalising but, speaking as a male, most of my gender love it when their partner initiates sex and especially if you’ve put some thought into your clothing, or lack of it.
I love it when a partner initiates sex regardless of clothing, but it is of course nice if she has dressed in Lingerie.
Just do it, I am sure he will very appreciative.
He loves it when I initiate sex, I put on my lingerie, put on my dressing gown stand in front of him undo it and say fancy a bit of me, so just got for it, put something sexy on and seduce away. If it’s your hubby that normally initiating sex, I’m pretty sure he’ll love it and he’ll be up for it, surprising him will add to the excitement
Lot of love for the getting dressed up option , but what happens if you get all dressed up and they say ‘actually, can I have a raincheck’? How do people handle that?
If he comes in to the room and you’re stood there in your new lingerie, his jaw is gonna hit the floor! (Soon after will be his pants)
My OH worries about initiating if I’ve got to be up early but I always tell her that’s one thing worth staying up for!
I have very little confidence and I’d feel so awkward just openly asking “do you want to have sex?” Try going for a normal kiss, like you would just to say love you or before you go off to work or something, then rather than pulling away go in for a second kiss a little bit longer, arms come around and get a bit more suggestive and I’m sure he’ll get the picture soon enough
My wife has an almost 100% guaranteed way of getting me going.
Some nice undies under a dressing gown, a little shave of the fanny and comes in and kisses me. 99 times out of 100 that’s all it takes, the other 1% of the time she tells me she feels like being taken and slips her ballgag in.
If he likes your lingerie collection then that’s the place to start. For most men to say no to their partner all dressed up like that it would have to have been the mother of all bad days at the office.
Honestly, just try it. I think it feels much scarier in your head than the reality. Think of it like you’re offering them a bit of cake, or an ice-cream.
Easy and open communication really is the key to good sex. Sitting down and having a chat about all of these types of things somewhere outside of the bedroom is really useful as well. You can chat things through, get some reassurances, find out their thoughts. It can create a good bedrock to build all the fun things on and take away a lot of the insecurities and ambiguities. Not sure if they’d appreciate sex on a week night? Ask them. Nervous about that new thing you read about on the forum that you want to try? Talk to them about it.
I worry that my hubby is tired after a busy day working (working from home). So come the evening of a weeknight attempting to initiate sex doesn’t seem right.
@HeartMaiden As a bloke, we are always up for a surprise. Walking in to any room of the house to find OH in sexy lingerie, is like hitting the jackpot! Can’t see what your OH could complain about.
Sounds like your the same as my missus, loads of different types of lingerie, but just lacks the confidence to wear it and initiate the fun.
And if you do go for during a weeknight, lie him down for a massage etc.
If hubby is anything like me HE WILL LOVE IT us men can also be hesitant in initiating any contact for fear of rejection (fragile egos etc) so go for it.
Agree with all the above about lingerie or simply “fancy some” etc, but I would also add -
Maybe prep him during the day, suggestive / naughty texts, tell him you are feeling sexy / horny and want him.
Talk to him about it when you next have a chance, tell him what you are wanting and see how he reacts. It may be tiredness that stops him initiating, or as above, it may be fear of rejection.
I’d also add perhaps he needs some notice about you wanting sex in an evening, if he works from home and has the house to himself, he may well be having some “alone time” and already be sexually relieved by the evening (?)
My OH is often tired on weeknights, but he always says yes to sex if I’m up for it…
He’d prefer sleep quality (ie great sleep after sex) over sleep quantity, he says, every time!