Hi guys, I've been following the forums for a while now and think it's about time I got more involved!
I've been with my partner for almost a year now and it's going great, I introduced him to sex toys and now they're a big part of our sex life.
From the very start I made it clear that anal sex was a HUGE no no - I am a complete beginner. As he hasn't experimented with anal either he was fine with it.
Recently I've had a change of heart, I hate that there's something I haven't tried - I'd love to experience new things with him.
How do I suggest to him that I'd like to try it after making a fuss about it when we first got together ?
I assume you mean that you would like him to give your anal?
The first thing to do would be to just talk about it. Say to him that as you've enjoyed all the new experiences you have shared together, you feel that you would like to try something new. But make it clear your not expecting him to 'dive right' in - you need to take it slow and build up.
Perhaps invest in a beginners basic butt plug to start off with (if you haven't already)? Let him see how much you enjoy the sensations with the plug - if that goes down well, consider then going up a plug size - it's all preperation for taking him - Anal is a pleasurable experience, but it needs to be done slowly, with lots of patience and LOTS of lube!
I'm sure he's not going to hold it against you that you've changed your mind - people do change their sexual minds all the time! For many years I was a total 'top' - meaning I would never let anyone or anything penetrate me anally (this was in fact, after a really bad experience in my early years) - but as the time has gone by, and I have begun to experiment with toys, I am much more open to it, and now I am a 'vers bottom'.
But communication is KEY. I cannot stress that enough!
Watch some porn where anal features heavily and start making the right hmmm noises. Tell him how surprised you are that it's turning you on so much, then ask him if he's ever thought about it, even though you said no right at the beginning of the relationship.
I would add that you shouldn't worry too much about the fact you made a fuss about it at the start. People are in a constant state of growing, adapting, developing, evolving and changing. There are so many opinions I held ten years ago that are different now. This is the journey of life and you are allowed to have changes of opinion or heart! :D
I would just say something like "Look, I know that X amount of years ago, I was dead set against trying this, but lately it has been popping up in my mind because I trust you, love you and really want to try new experiences with you. I am a bit nervous about it and want to take it slow, but what do you think? Is it something you would ever like to try?"
And go from there. Like others have said communication is key.
My OH was so anti anal for our first 15 years together I nearly passed out with excitement when she said she wanted to try it, what she did that I didn't know about was she bought a small butt plug first to see if she liked something up her arse, when she was comfortable with that she bought a series of plugs that graduated up to just bigger than me, only when she could use the largest comfortably for a time was she happy to try anal sex, she wears the plug for more than an hour before we start and obviously with plenty of lube, this works very well for us and makes anal very easy, she loves anal that much now that she has bought larger plugs since! Imagine your OH's face if you was to surprise him with a large plug up your arse ready to go, I bet he wouldn't think twice! Lol
Tried, tested and LOVED it! We started with a finger and built up to smaller toys...Not quite ready for anal sex yet, although im dead excited to try :) !
Tried, tested and LOVED it! We started with a finger and built up to smaller toys...Not quite ready for anal sex yet, although im dead excited to try :) !
Hi Yasmine, wasn't that long ago for us. My wife was always concerned about my size.Then like you she wanted to try as it was something neither of us had done before so we wanted to do it together, like losing a virginity together.
This what she came up with. She had a nice warm bath to help relax her, I relaxed her even more by making her come orally. We made sure the height and angle were right with her in the doggy position and me stood along side the bed. She asked me to lube her and myself taking care not to get any on her cheeks just the anus. Then and this was so horny she told me all I had to do was stand totally still and just use my hand to point the tip straight at her anus. If I moved or tried to thrust she would stop. Then she used her hands to pull her buttocks apart as she backed on to me. She was able to control the speed and depth , it was all just amazing no pain and almost straight in. My only advice is make sure you've discussed when he can come because the last thing you want is him suddenly pulling out if you don't want him to come in you. It was so exciting I nearly came as soon as I was in. Good luck and enjoy