Is he just playing me about? Need honest advice

I’ve been seeing this guy for the past month. We have seen each other 3 times. We planned to go somewhere on Sunday - he was sick so we planned on Thursday instead and he did come for a few hours. He was supposed to see me last weekend - sick again. We made plans for this Sunday and he “forgot” and made plans with his friends and he is ignoring me. I really like this guy and I see a future with him but I don’t know if he’s just playing with me.

I had a talk with him and apparently he’s coming to see me on Saturday. He’s refusing to cancel with his mates like an actual man would do. Now he’s ignoring me again. If he doesn’t come over on Saturday it’s definitely over. Am I being too over dramatic or is he in the wrong?

Edit: I gave him another chance and he was meant to come tonight (Tues) and he didn’t show up so now he has a massive foot print on his behind and he isn’t welcome at my house anymore and forever.

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I am so sorry you are being messed about, the signals are not looking good, how far away is he to you? As he is cancelling regularly is there a chance he is seeing / with someone else? Be careful and look after yourself, ask lots of questions.


Honestly trust your gut instinct, he could be generally ill or forgot about your plans but to me if he ain’t all in now at the very beginning then I wouldn’t count on him being any different further down the line.

It’s still really new and if you’re having doubts already then I think that says a lot. I would personally still see how it goes and start dating other people to or at least talking to other people.


I think you’re being very generous giving him the chance to even see if he turns up on Saturday when he’s ignoring you. It doesn’t sound like the happy time it should be.

Based on what you’ve said, I think he isn’t as in to building this into a relationship as you are. He’s ignoring you, this is either childish or narcissistic behaviour.

What is it about him that makes you see a future with him? Why do you like him? You don’t need to answer but just think about it. Do his words and actions match? Don’t judge it by what he says, judge it by how he makes you feel. Does he make you feel secure, wanted, respected?




HUGE red flags. Run …run like the wind. You’re worth so much more.x


Personally it seems like you’ve given him enough chances.
I can’t really see how you can see any future with him. He seems totally unreliable and a little childish with all the ignoring you stuff.
Only my opinion but I’d give him the elbow and look for someone who actually wanted to spend time with me.


Honestly, If he has you questioning this early on, I think there is your answer. You deserve better than to feel like this!
I mean I have been out of the dating game for a really long time (thankfully) and I know things change, but Surly the most effort and the want to see as much of each other as possible is at its most in the beginning still… if he is acting like this now…I don’t see it getting any better in the future. :frowning:


3 strikes…. Out simples


Kick him to the kerb. I think you know deep down that you don’t “Forget” a pre-planned date. Plus the other signs. YES, he’s playing you about, you deserve better. No more chances, get rid of him or you’ll be regretting it sooner than later.


Agree with @Mr_Mrs_0 and others. If it’s like this now, it’s unlikely to be any better in the future. He’s not respecting you.


I don’t understand how someone can forget a date with someone they’ve just started dating. That seems like a red flag to me. Hope this works out for you.


I would definitely not cancel plans with friends for any lady, however fine she is, i would have met 3 times only.

Incorporating her in the friendship group, yes, making side plans if meeting with friends not apporpriate, yes, but i certainly would cancel nothing.

to be honest, sounds like he’s gone out both time and overdone it? You’re both young and that’s the age to do these things.

Free to you to accept that or not.


There’s an old saying that goes:

"Advice is that thing we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn’t. "

That you’re seeking advice this early in speaks volumes to me. Listen to your instincts, realize you deserve better than “the runaround” and claim your dignity. If he’s serious, he’ll pull his head in.

If not, then you’ve saved yourself a lot of time by avoiding a fly-by-night.




I understand but he made plans after he said yes to me. He needs to own up to his mistake @JustAnotherPervert


He is a player and you need to run away - don’t allow yourself just to be his booty call or play thing

Take care :broken_heart:


There is a phrase I like “if they wanted to, they would”. You are worth more. I wouldn’t give him another opportunity to disrespect you x


Honest answer … yes he’s playing you about.

Drop him like a hotcake … you’ve got better places to put your energy …

Sorry I know how much it can hurt


@sharbur sorry for the post hun but I would suggest that he is messing you about I wouldn’t be making excuses like forgetting to meet up with you then pieing you off to meet my friends you can’t build a relationship based on that mentality! Move on and get someone who deserves you :+1: