Lovehoney - Jess Wilde wrote:
Ugh. It's 2018: When will guys realise that locker room 'banter' is sexism under a different guise.
How would you feel if you found out a bunch of men were talking this way about your sister/daughter/mum?
Exactly. Bloody disgusting.
Going to have to pull you up here Jess (and hope I don't get booted off LH ;) )
There's no place for this conversation in the workplace, absolutely agree on that. But a group of women talking dirty about men is just as likely as the other way around.
Hmm.. I would agree that women do talk about men/their preferred gender in a sexual way, but it's usually in private, and doesn't come with the same background connotations. I'd also say that (generally speaking) women tend not to be quite so crude when discussing their preferred gender sexually, but obviously that's a sweeping statement and I can't speak for all ladyfolk.
In my personal opinion, I would say that, as a result of years of female opression, comments about women's sexuality comes with more pain and anguish than those made about the socially preferred gender: men.
For example, if I made a "bantery" joke about someone's weight who I know for a fact loves their body, my joke would roll over them like water off a ducks back. They would likely laugh and take the joke as a joke.
If I made the exact same joke with the same delivery to someone who already felt sensitive about their weight, it would likely go down like a lead balloon and the person would feel really hurt. Even though my intent wouldn't be to hurt them, their back story means it did and regardless of intent, I would still owe that person an apology.
For millenia, 'the fairer sex' have been cited (mostly by men / people in power) as being best for breeding, being "sexy" and eMoTiOnS, so when jokes are made about those topics they sting a little more than when they're said about 'the stronger gender' who are seen as "smart", "strong" and "powerful".
In an ideal world, all genders would be equal and then we could all confidently banter away to our hearts content with wild abandon. Sadly, whilst genuine equality is still a farce around the globe, some extra consideration needs to be taken so as not to hurt our fellow humans.
As a species, we listen to our peers more than those in power, our parents and the media, so the quickest and most effective way to get to equality is to pull our friends up when they make innappropriate comments. In just the same way as you would give your mate a slap on the wrist for a racial slur and explain why it's wrong, it's time to start doing the same with sexist slurs, no matter how "innocently" they were intended.
Most people who make these comments are unware of their impact and do it to 'fit in with the lads' or boost their social status (which, when you think about it is pretty sad; these people feel the need to put someone else down to raise themselves up). So it's about gentle education and making certain comments socially unacceptable. Then, when some jerk makes a nasty comment about women / a certain race / disability / sexuality etc etc, they'll just be shooting themselves in the foot and fall down the social ladder, rather than climb up it.
But those are just my musings!