Don't see any problem,as long as you get along and have common things to talk about.
Red Lightning wrote:
Thanks everyone. I love this community. You're all awesome. I'm just slightly concerned still. It's different reading about it online than seeing it in the street. And I can't help but think it'll be difficult for her. I've met a couple of her friends and we joked around a bit about the age gap but I think she's a little conscious about it. After all, she's only a few years younger than my mother... I'll talk to her about it tonight.
Thanks everyone for your positive response. It's made me feel much happier knowing that not everyone will judge us if we actually get together :)
In public no one has ever treated us any different, my OH informed me recently that once a woman was nudging her husband saying "look at them, look at them" he just grabbed me and gave me the most passionate kiss then carried on with what we were doing, I was none the wiser. Neither of us even notice the age gap, we're a perfect fit and rarely have disagreements, he's not a 41 year old man to me, he's just my gorgeous, loving Andy. He's a couple of years younger than my dads but it really doesn't mean anything.
So, I talked to her last night and I think it's going to go pretty well between us. She thinks that if anyone is going to be judged then it'll be her, and she doesn't care the slightest what anyone else thinks, so long as we're happy. We talked a little about what would happen if one of us developed feelings for the other and she said we should see where it takes us. However she did make it very clear that she didn't want to get married ever again, which is fine with me. I don't need to marry her to be happy.
I thought it was perhaps a bit too early to tell her exactly how I feel, but I think she may have her suspicions. She didn't seem put off though what seems like good news.
We both actually go away this Saturday and get back next Saturday. She's going to Wales and I'm going to Suffolk but we've already made plans for tomorrow night and the Sunday after we get back.
We went to a small local village festival a few days ago. I had my arm around her and holding her hand all the time we were close enough. We were kissing quite a bit as well. She told me last night that I was making everyone jealous of her.
So overall I think that everything you guys and girls have said has given me that boost of confidence I needed to let myself fall for her. And thank you Young and fun95. I think it's interesting to read about your experience because your age gap is pretty much the same as mine.
Thanks everyone
young and fun 95, you have my total admiration.
So happy for you! Age has no effect on who you are at all so it doesn't change who you can fall in love with.
did you feel strange behaving like that in public? Like everyone was watching and judging, I did at first, I even hid his age from my parents, it came out horribly and caused arguments with my family, but what could I do? I couldn't change either of our ages and I couldn't be without him. That feeling quickly went away almost immediately though, you become so enveloped in each other that no one else exists.
All the best to you x
and red lighting, the only opinions that matter in a relationship are yours and your partners. I'm a 55yr old tv and I come from an era of intolerance and hatred. Trust me, the age difference means nothing if you care for each other. Too late for me maybe, but, not for you.
tv Jenny wrote:
young and fun 95, you have my total admiration.
That's terribly sweet, thank you, I feel it's unjust though, I'll always be ashamed of hiding his age, although my situation at that time was quite a struggle, my man saved me, and continues to protect me everyday, he has my total admiration
tv Jenny wrote:
and red lighting, the only opinions that matter in a relationship are yours and your partners. I'm a 55yr old tv and I come from an era of intolerance and hatred. Trust me, the age difference means nothing if you care for each other. Too late for me maybe, but, not for you.
It's never too late Hun, times have changed, everyone has the right to be who they want. Intolerance and hatred are just ignorance and unintelligence x
At first it was a little strange. But after about an hour it felt normal. It's just the looks I got from a few people that I didn't like. Don't think I'll be telling my family about her though. At least not any time soon. I don't have any idea of how my parents will react. I think they'll eventually approve when they see that I'm happy with her. And tv Jenny, I agree with everything Young and fun95 says. It's never too late.Young and fun95 wrote:
So happy for you! Age has no effect on who you are at all so it doesn't change who you can fall in love with.
did you feel strange behaving like that in public? Like everyone was watching and judging, I did at first, I even hid his age from my parents, it came out horribly and caused arguments with my family, but what could I do? I couldn't change either of our ages and I couldn't be without him. That feeling quickly went away almost immediately though, you become so enveloped in each other that no one else exists.
All the best to you x
It'll be ok in the end, just wait till you're sure it's gonna be a permanent thing and hold your ground. Tbh now I hope people are looking, because we're the happiest couple in the world, I'm proud to be with him and he with me.
It'll be ok in the end, just wait till you're sure it's gonna be a permanent thing and hold your ground. Tbh now I hope people are looking, because we're the happiest couple in the world, I'm proud to be with him and he with me.
I've been there with the 'witholding age' thing - even though the age gap is less than ten years, it still took a long time before my 19/20 YO OH admitted to her dad how old I was.
It's not that I was ashamed, I love him, the fact that he's older makes him so much more impressive, he's so considerate and hard working/focused, he's been through so much and has still managed to do what many can't be arsed to. I just didnt want the judgement and the condescending comments, but eventually you have to chose, I couldn't hide him forever, I plan to marry and have children with this man and I felt terrible for how he must have felt as though he was a dirty secret!
who has the right to judge no one if your both happy whats wrong just enjoy theres 24 years between me and my wife just enjoy and be happy
I may be slated for saying this, however here it is in black and white:
1) Yes it is fact that you can fall in love with anyone, so they maybe the 'right one'
2) A few weeks in reality is to short to know if you are truely in love
3) Serial relationship hunter could be you. Some people stumble from one full on relationship, straight into another one, it's a comfort thing, but can easily be mistaken for love
4) You are young and have time on your side, do not rush, take your time, you have many more interactions to experience, serendepity this maybe, but ask yourself truthly, is it one of those moments
5) A 13 year old teenage daughter will bring their own special baggage, are you mature enough to handle that, because your relationship with her mum will no doubt create more, and will place an element of stress on your relationship with her mum.
6) In relation to above, you will need consider the 13 year old at every step of your relationship, what you and her mum do, will effect her.
Hope that helps to some extent, at the end of the day, only you can answer your question, just don't end up on a midweek 10am tv show!
Young and fun95 wrote:
It's not that I was ashamed, I love him, the fact that he's older makes him so much more impressive, he's so considerate and hard working/focused, he's been through so much and has still managed to do what many can't be arsed to. I just didnt want the judgement and the condescending comments, but eventually you have to chose, I couldn't hide him forever, I plan to marry and have children with this man and I felt terrible for how he must have felt as though he was a dirty secret!
Same - I don't think she was ashamed at all, just didn't want to deal with the reaction.
Hardly the best feeling in the World, but I did understand.
I say go for it as others have said your both adults and if you make each other happy then nothing else matters. Hope everything goes well.
I don't see a problem with this as long as your both happy.
like others said though you will most probably get some people judging over age however just try and ignore it.
I dont see anything wrong with it.
I am 18 and i really like someone who is 29 and from what i can gather he likes me back.
11 years difference and he has only a 13 year difference between him and my mum :')
I personally think its fine. Its not like youre a 14 year old with someone that much older. Your happiness is what matters.
Don't see a problem once you're older people hardly say any thing, when I was 20, my now wife was 10! and we have the same birthday!