Genuine question as thinking bout purchasing one but wondered wht feedback is from others who have one and their other halves thoughts. Does your partner know you have one or do you keep it in secret. Is it classed as cheating if you use one jn private
Definitely not cheating imo .maybe seen by a partner that they are not enough for you if they don’t use toys themselves and are uncomfortable with the whole sex toy thing.only you know how they are likely to react .women using dildos ,vibratory etc has been excepted by society for years I think.its strange that sex toys for guys are still not as accepted as womens ones and men being men don’t openly talk about owning and using them.husband has one and he uses it solo and I also use it on him.great gadget.lots of fun.you using one in private is just the same as masturbating in private without one
Cheating is defined by the people in the relationship. Only you are your partner can decide what is and isn’t cheating.
Unless it’s some weird thing where you’re obsessed over some celebrity and you get their special fleshlight… no. It’s just masturbating
Wouldn’t have thought so​![]()
Umm defo not cheating as it isn’t a living thing but then it can depend if you’d prefer that toy over your partner.
Masturbation isn’t cheating. If you start choosing it over your partner, though, it would be understandable if they get upset about it.
In my view it’s cheating just as much as using a dildo is
Absolutely not. He can have whatever he wants for his own pleasure as can I. And using them together and apart. My only issue would be if either partner consistently chose a toy over their partner (without a discussion or understanding why that’s the case)
I’d be slightly less keen if the fleshlight was modelled on a real life person (as in someone known personally).
Each individual will be different. I’ve openly bought multiple Fleshlights for my OH. It’s just a toy - the same as a dildo, rabbit, bullet, clitoral suction or wand. It doesn’t involve another person so for me It isn’t cheating ![]()
Sextoy is not cheating. Lying, on the other hand, can approximate this feeling.Don’t be ashamed! Sex toys contribute to personal fulfillment and therefore to the well-being of the couple!
I don’t think it’s cheating at all. It’s just an inanimate object.
What about mutually masturbating with toys sometimes? That can be very hot, and it makes it more of a shared toy then, not an alternative.
As others have said I definitely wouldn’t see it as cheating, not unless the fleshlight took preference over real intimacy. People masturbate - if your partner gets insecure over a toy, the problem isn’t the toy.
Really useful everyone thank you and now to chose which one to get
Bingo!
Of course many on this site would’t consider it cheating, but that doesn’t mean that another person does think it’s cheating.
We’re all individuals and we all get to choose for ourselves.
Think of dealbreakers in relationships. We all get to choose what is or isn’t a dealbreaker for us. And none of us are wrong as WE get to choose what they are for us, not others.
For many, smoking is a dealbreaker. For others, it isn’t and on and on it goes.
For many, using a flashlight isn’t cheating, but for some out there in this great big world, it is.
It doesn’t matter whether I think it’s cheating or not, it only matters for individuals who think it is cheating.
Who am I to tell a person whether something is or isn’t cheating for THEM?
Who am I to tell a person whether something should or shouldn’t be a dealbreaker for them?
For some, kissing another person is cheating.
I’m a live and let live kind of person. You do you and I’ll do me.
I’m not God, I don’t judge, it’s not for me to judge anyone, so I don’t.
There are things I like and don’t like but I’m able to agree to disagree as I’ve long known others are different from me, with their own likes, dislikes, wants, tastes, style etc.
The OH knows I have one and is happy for me to use it when she is not in the mood.
On occasion she has used it on me if I have given her an orgasm through oral sex, but she doesn’t want to have sex.
To me using a toy of any sort is not cheating, but this will always depend on you and your partner @firsttimeposter do you have a no sex toy rule in the relationship?
I could see it causing issues if your partner was against toys, if so you would need to talk to her about it and why you are using it.
We have tried a fleshligh as part of our foreplay but hubby does not like them, he prefers my mouth instead. We do use a male wand that he likes and i use that on him. I would not consider it as cheating as it helps get him hard enough for piv when my jaw starts to ache.
Now kissing someone else on the lips to me is cheating and if i saw it happen someone is getting a slap.
I don’t consider it as cheating. It is supplementing, like the use of any basic sex toy.
really depends on who is holding it.