Yeah that book looks great!
If I don't get chosen then it's on my personal wish list too :)
Boogaloo wrote:
Yeah that book looks great!
If I don't get chosen then it's on my personal wish list too :)
+1 :) xx
Me too! I love how lovehoney aren't JUST sex toys, and they have awesome books to sell too :)Boogaloo wrote:
Yeah that book looks great!
If I don't get chosen then it's on my personal wish list too :)
:o didnt think to put on my list!!! Definately gona buy at some point 21 short stories tgats alot of lusting to do
I'm obsessed with erotica since reading fsog ( which I thought was terrible) I'm trying to boost the rep of better and under rated books!
I couldn't even read FSOG! I read bits of it and just couldn't bare the writing style, apart from the adult themes it read like it had been written by a child. (Sorry that's harsh!)
That's why I love Diary of a Submissive, because it's both well written and explores real BDSM, instead of what FSOG portrays. I don't know where I stand on the whole abuse theme in FSOG as I didn't read the whole thing, but from what I've gathered it's been harmful to the BDSM community.
What do you think?
My ultimate fav has been secret diaries call girl i love humour and does have saucy bits
Oh yeah I read that too after watching the TV program, that was good :) not quite erotica though but it was an interesting diary to read.
sorey squeezibg in here. I skim reader (bad i know taught inschool and cant shift itb) so books like fsog is perfect for me .though i enjoyed the more phsycological aspects most but bdsm i do think its crapBoogaloo wrote:
I couldn't even read FSOG! I read bits of it and just couldn't bare the writing style, apart from the adult themes it read like it had been written by a child. (Sorry that's harsh!)
That's why I love Diary of a Submissive, because it's both well written and explores real BDSM, instead of what FSOG portrays. I don't know where I stand on the whole abuse theme in FSOG as I didn't read the whole thing, but from what I've gathered it's been harmful to the BDSM community.
What do you think?
Lets start with the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
I didn't even know they did books! I watched and loved the show with Billie Piper (if thats how you spell it)mrs.hiskett wrote:
My ultimate fav has been secret diaries call girl i love humour and does have saucy bits
actually saw he was just caring for her my bad kinks shes got a whole set out (burst out crying as discovered the all have disappeared cant find any of my books)Ink and Kink wrote:
Lets start with the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
ALTHOUGH as someone who escaped a real abusive relationship. Both mentally, sexual and physical.
Fifty shades doesn't compare to the torturous relationship. It's all very strange haha
I wholeheartedly agree with you Kinks, and you've explained it really well!
What also bothered me is that Christian Grey is portrayed as somebody who has had a troubled childhood and they make out that he likes BDSM because he's traumatised, which I think paints the BDSM community in a bad light because there's already a widespread misunderstanding that we only do it because we're messed up in the head.
Hopefully those reading FSOG don't take it too seriously though, although I do know a few people who got in to BDSM that way and didn't do their research first, which could be fairly dangerous.
About the Secret Diary of a Call Girl - the programme was based on the actual diary of Belle de Jour, so it wasn't completely truthful but the books tell the real story of a London call girl, it's quite interesting to read :)
Incredibly dangerous! Especially younger girls! In there late teens. They could fall into abusive relationships and have their heads screwed to think it's bdsm and that they're consenting too it. Which is another thing I like at the beginning of the diary of a Submissive. As she states at the start she had a great upbringing! I was with someone a while back. And his reasoning for my masochistic ways were because "youve been in abusive relationships and you think it's right. Or you have daddy issues" I have been in abusive relationships. But I know the difference between consent and not. The diary of a submissive is great for people to understand bdsm relationships. I especially love where she is been spanked 100 times and she starts crying and he stops automatically and holds her in his arms crying even though she didn't use her safe word.Boogaloo wrote:
I wholeheartedly agree with you Kinks, and you've explained it really well!
What also bothered me is that Christian Grey is portrayed as somebody who has had a troubled childhood and they make out that he likes BDSM because he's traumatised, which I think paints the BDSM community in a bad light because there's already a widespread misunderstanding that we only do it because we're messed up in the head.
Hopefully those reading FSOG don't take it too seriously though, although I do know a few people who got in to BDSM that way and didn't do their research first, which could be fairly dangerous.
I might have to find them!!Boogaloo wrote:
About the Secret Diary of a Call Girl - the programme was based on the actual diary of Belle de Jour, so it wasn't completely truthful but the books tell the real story of a London call girl, it's quite interesting to read :)
Oh! And as we talk about fsog. I will admit I love the collection on lovehoney haha!
capricorn13 wrote:
Cuff Links wrote:
I just started reading Story of O today. I'm about 40 pages in and not enjoying it so far.
Yesterday I finished An Abundance of Katherines (the John Green YA novel) and it was nice.
Then the previous book I read was The Boss, which is free for kindle and was the best erotic fiction I've read so far (this being said, I've not read that much in total)
I really didn't enjoy the Story of O. See my review on here. The Boss was pretty good for a freebie.
I am looking forward to starting the newest Tara Sue Me.
Did you read any of the rest in The Boss series? Amazon doesn't accept my credit card for some reason...
Ink and Kink wrote:
Incredibly dangerous! Especially younger girls! In there late teens. They could fall into abusive relationships and have their heads screwed to think it's bdsm and that they're consenting too it. Which is another thing I like at the beginning of the diary of a Submissive. As she states at the start she had a great upbringing! I was with someone a while back. And his reasoning for my masochistic ways were because "youve been in abusive relationships and you think it's right. Or you have daddy issues" I have been in abusive relationships. But I know the difference between consent and not. The diary of a submissive is great for people to understand bdsm relationships. I especially love where she is been spanked 100 times and she starts crying and he stops automatically and holds her in his arms crying even though she didn't use her safe word.Boogaloo wrote:
I wholeheartedly agree with you Kinks, and you've explained it really well!
What also bothered me is that Christian Grey is portrayed as somebody who has had a troubled childhood and they make out that he likes BDSM because he's traumatised, which I think paints the BDSM community in a bad light because there's already a widespread misunderstanding that we only do it because we're messed up in the head.
Hopefully those reading FSOG don't take it too seriously though, although I do know a few people who got in to BDSM that way and didn't do their research first, which could be fairly dangerous.
Amen!
I really need to pick up Diary of a Submissive I think :D