Good idea KP.
Andaw I never really like the look of collars either but after seeing the vid I went looking for one that appealed to me. Found some on ebay and infact put some links up on the Pander to me thread. Have a look.
I felt a bit silly at first but actually it looked quite sexy and Mr Pups found it hot too :)
I used to be a very Dominant person when it came to bedroom play, but with my current OH, i love when he takes control, probably as he's really good at it.
But i've had (since a bad experience) a bit of an issue with anything to do with constricting my neck or holding my neck etc, but me and the OH have tried it. But he mainly did it as our session was kind of aiming in that sort of direction, if that makes sense, with hair pulling etc, but i think neither of us felt entirely comfortable with it, so that may have been another reason it didnt work out so well for us.
Suppose you never know if you like something until you try it, right? :)
Pleased you guys are all experiementing and loving it though! ^_^
x x x x
KittyPurry wrote:
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this, it's such an erotic way for my partner to communicate "I am in charge". As soon as my throat is squeezed I relax totally and stop moving in total surrender. It feels wonderful because I would never ever let anyone but a lover I totally trusted touch my neck as I'd feel too vulnerable.
xxKPxx
This is exactly why I put my question in this thread rather than the "erotic asphyxiation" thread because, for me, it's not about the throat play being enjoyable in itself - it's about the complete feel of surrender and the complete trust it requires. I kind of think that the "throat" ness side of it has nothing to do with the arousal, and it's more the whole mentality behind it and because it's such a vulnerable area.
I don't know if I'm making sense here haha!
M I completely agree - if you felt uncomfortable in any way it would be very off putting but at least you can say you've tried it! External Media and at least it shows just how much you trust your partner to trust him to experiment with something you find particularly uncomfortable!
Ax
AdnaW wrote:
M I completely agree - if you felt uncomfortable in any way it would be very off putting but at least you can say you've tried it! External Media and at least it shows just how much you trust your partner to trust him to experiment with something you find particularly uncomfortable!
Ax
Yeah, its all about trying it, you never know what you'll like til you try it, like when i met him, he hated any bum fun on his part, now he's begging me to do bum fum to him, lol.
So who knows, in the future it may be on the comfortable agenda for me too :) x x x
Morbidia wrote:
AdnaW wrote:
M I completely agree - if you felt uncomfortable in any way it would be very off putting but at least you can say you've tried it! External Media and at least it shows just how much you trust your partner to trust him to experiment with something you find particularly uncomfortable!
Ax
Yeah, its all about trying it, you never know what you'll like til you try it, like when i met him, he hated any bum fun on his part, now he's begging me to do bum fum to him, lol.
So who knows, in the future it may be on the comfortable agenda for me too :) x x x
That's a good point actually - being comfortable with certain things takes different lengths of time. It might take 10 months for someone to be comfortable with one thing and only 4 for another thing. Or it may take 6 months for one person to be comfortable for one thing and another person 6 years to be comfortable with the same thing.
We're all different aren't we!
Ax
AdnaW wrote:
That's a good point actually - being comfortable with certain things takes different lengths of time. It might take 10 months for someone to be comfortable with one thing and only 4 for another thing. Or it may take 6 months for one person to be comfortable for one thing and another person 6 years to be comfortable with the same thing.
We're all different aren't we!
Ax
Exactly, also, depends on the person you're with, like with previous partner i was convinced id never ever have sex, as i definately didnt want it with him, but with my partner now, i was very eagar, and still am 2 years later,lol xxx
Funny that this thread should be resurrected so recently, considering I've been away from the boards for that long!!
Yeah I found out that we do rather enjoy the same fantasies. Not sure what Lubyanka says is the same for everyone - he found it really hot that I like the idea of him 'forcing' me. It's not at all that I want to "pass the buck". I just think it's very arousing... and if he thinks so too, it's good for me!
I would never have thought he was into this (heck, I've kept it as fantasy for a long time because I didn't want to freak him out) so I feel really lucky right now. XD
I must admit, I'm a bit skittish about not being able to breathe, so Mr BLC has never gone for my throat, but I always thought of it as a breath play thing, which ain't my bag, rather than a control thing...
Me likey controlly. Might broach this subject with him later!
BumLovingCriminal wrote:
I must admit, I'm a bit skittish about not being able to breathe, so Mr BLC has never gone for my throat, but I always thought of it as a breath play thing, which ain't my bag, rather than a control thing...
Me likey controlly. Might broach this subject with him later!
I have never had my breath restricted despite using considerable force - obviously be very careful, but it's fairly clear what pressure is too much pressure - especially for nervous beginners who will take it on the cautious side! If you feel your throat yourself there is a place where it takes very little pressure to restrict breathing but I've found WandA doesn't automatically put his hand in this position so it's fine.
I'd like to experiment with increased force potentially restricting breathing but not for that purpose if that makes sense. I fully understand people who wouldn't like to though!
Coachvee wrote:
Funny that this thread should be resurrected so recently, considering I've been away from the boards for that long!!
Yeah I found out that we do rather enjoy the same fantasies. Not sure what Lubyanka says is the same for everyone - he found it really hot that I like the idea of him 'forcing' me. It's not at all that I want to "pass the buck". I just think it's very arousing... and if he thinks so too, it's good for me!
I would never have thought he was into this (heck, I've kept it as fantasy for a long time because I didn't want to freak him out) so I feel really lucky right now. XD
Welcome back!
I agree with the not "passing the buck" idea....I know what I like, but I still enjoy the feeling of being forced even if in reality there is no forcing!
Ax
My ex used to really like it when i held her neck. Not to the point of restricting breathing but just enough pressure to show her who was boss! It was all her idea and i'd never done anything like that before. She was very open with what she wanted and what she liked. Now i'm with a new woman and i have no idea how to approach the idea. She doesnt like the idea of pain and i wouldn't want to hurt her anyway but i'm a bit worried that if i start gripping her neck shed think that i was into breath games etc. Any ideas how i could gently express the idea without scaring her? x MC x
merry cherry wrote:
My ex used to really like it when i held her neck. Not to the point of restricting breathing but just enough pressure to show her who was boss! It was all her idea and i'd never done anything like that before. She was very open with what she wanted and what she liked. Now i'm with a new woman and i have no idea how to approach the idea. She doesnt like the idea of pain and i wouldn't want to hurt her anyway but i'm a bit worried that if i start gripping her neck shed think that i was into breath games etc. Any ideas how i could gently express the idea without scaring her? x MC x
You might want to start with "restriction" in other ways first - holding her arms above her head by grabbing her wrists. Using knees to restrict arm movement perhaps. Begin small and work up. If you can mention the subject before hand and put the idea in her head of throat restriction as a control idea not a "breath play" idea then sometime when you feel it appropriate you may be able to hold onto her throat whilst restricting her in other ways just for the length of a kiss, work your way up from there sort of thing?
Ax
AdnaW wrote:
merry cherry wrote:
My ex used to really like it when i held her neck. Not to the point of restricting breathing but just enough pressure to show her who was boss! It was all her idea and i'd never done anything like that before. She was very open with what she wanted and what she liked. Now i'm with a new woman and i have no idea how to approach the idea. She doesnt like the idea of pain and i wouldn't want to hurt her anyway but i'm a bit worried that if i start gripping her neck shed think that i was into breath games etc. Any ideas how i could gently express the idea without scaring her? x MC x
You might want to start with "restriction" in other ways first - holding her arms above her head by grabbing her wrists. Using knees to restrict arm movement perhaps. Begin small and work up. If you can mention the subject before hand and put the idea in her head of throat restriction as a control idea not a "breath play" idea then sometime when you feel it appropriate you may be able to hold onto her throat whilst restricting her in other ways just for the length of a kiss, work your way up from there sort of thing?
Ax
Yeah, i mean i don't want to actually strangle her or anything, just a little pressure to hold her down really. I'm only interested in it as shes made tiny suggestions that shed like to be dominated. It's not actually for me really. I have tried helding her arms above her head and she loves it! x MC x
My oh sometime holds onto my neck...not strangling me but quite forceful...and i do quite like it.....feels like hes dominating me and is in total control........but i can understand its a hard subject to bring up........'would you mind gripping hold of my neck and restricting my breathing whislt we have sex dear'....................some partners would look at you blankly and think youve clearly gone a bid mad........or run a mile!!
sexynurse09 wrote:
I love this! Now my OH is quite reluctant with this kind of play because I think he thinks he's forcing me and he's not. I tried not to push th subect with him and let him do it when he's ready.
Sometimes when we're in bed and he's running his hands over my body they sometimes wander up to my throat....he'll grip very lightly and only for a few seconds and guage my reaction. It turns me on soooo much, I wish he'd carry on sometimes but I think he's uncomfortable with it. I would like a new gag but I know that's a definate no no. Sometimes, he'll put his hand over my mouth, which I love! It makes me feel like he's in control and there's nothing I can do about anything and yet feel completely safe at the same time.
I can imagine that being a turn on - trusting your partner enough to give yourself to them in that way and put your pleasure/safety in their hands.
toxycat wrote:
My oh sometime holds onto my neck...not strangling me but quite forceful...and i do quite like it.....feels like hes dominating me and is in total control........but i can understand its a hard subject to bring up........'would you mind gripping hold of my neck and restricting my breathing whislt we have sex dear'....................some partners would look at you blankly and think youve clearly gone a bid mad........or run a mile!!
Yeah you just don't know how people could react to stuff like that. For me i'd have to trust my partner totally (which i do). I wouldn't like it happening to me to much of an extent, but a little force i like!
merry cherry wrote:
toxycat wrote:
My oh sometime holds onto my neck...not strangling me but quite forceful...and i do quite like it.....feels like hes dominating me and is in total control........but i can understand its a hard subject to bring up........'would you mind gripping hold of my neck and restricting my breathing whislt we have sex dear'....................some partners would look at you blankly and think youve clearly gone a bid mad........or run a mile!!
Yeah you just don't know how people could react to stuff like that. For me i'd have to trust my partner totally (which i do). I wouldn't like it happening to me to much of an extent, but a little force i like!
yeah it is a bit of a touchy subject for some............ i do love to be thrown around and pinned down......its a control thing i guess......but then again.......i do like to turn the tables and take control as well...though im sure i could ever throw him around....lol
Yeah the whole power and control thing can be great. It just depends on how far you take things and need to be sure you are both running at a similar speed and know each others limits etc. As ive said before, i'm naturally a submissive so i love it when my oh takes control and pins me down or ties me up! But i also like swapping roles and (trying) to be dominant (although i'm not very good at it!). Just because she loves it and gets really excited and turned on....this then turns me on si it's all good!
