I'm a female aged 29. I've very low lebido in fact none existant. my parnter has a very high lebido and he wants me to pleasor myself but i never feel like it.
I've always had this problem even with my last partner, i have a 2 year girl.
I've been to the dr's about my lebido but they don't take it serius they thing i should see a srink.
I want to please him and i don't want to fake it, the only thing which makes me cum is a machine, we've tryed everything can anyone help?
You shouldn't worry so much! I have a low libido too - partly because of the pill (do you take the contraceptive pill?). and partly because that's just me!
I also don't come easily, and don't even want to often - I can have AMAZING sex and that is perfectly satisfying enough without the orgasm so my partner understands this!
If ever I want to come, I reach for my toy straight away, but because I don't NEED to come I can enjoy the feeling first - if I feel I could come without a toy, I tend to just lay back and relax - do not pressure yourself, it's the worst thing you can do!
You need your partner to understand that you love sex, and you can't even come by yourself without a toy so it's certainly not anything he's doing wrong - just normal variation from woman to woman.
If you're worried - see a doctor and insist they help you, seeing a sexual therapist might help - they can teach you relaxation techniques but your doctor should also investigate other causes! It may just be that it's just your natural libido and that is that, but if you think there could be a cause then you should investigate it!
Also - sometimes it's hard to feel horny, until the sex starts! So don't worry if occasionally you start off a session feeling like it's only for your partner's sake because once you get started you will (probably) love it! Obviously if you don't start loving it, then just move on to focus on his pleasure to allow him to climax. We go on a "sex is for WandA to come - unless AdnaW decides she fancies it" that way there is no pressure but he still gets sex - and I really enjoy pleasuring him and get total satisfaction from it even if I don't want anything myself! It works for us!
I'm sure there will be others along with tips on getting turned on, how to get into it more, and relaxation techniques (it really is the most important thing - being able to relax and just enjoy) and also what could cause it (such as stress, tiredness, jobs etc) but for me, a big point is to not feel pressured - there's nothing wrong with having a lower sex drive and nothing wrong with struggling to come without a toy!!