Good morning My OH has slight dark hair on both sides of her upper lip, should I tell her, and how is best to remove it What do you do with yours? Do you see it as a problem?
Only you know how receptive your OH is going to be to something like that, based on her personality, her body confidence levels and your relationiship. Is she likely to take offence and be upset or (jokingly) tell you off for being cheeky and moan about your hairy bum?
I'd tread very carefully, I know some dark haired women who are extemely sensitive about their body hair. The amount of hours we women spend staring in mirrors I'd be surprised if she hasnt noticed it herself, in which case she's probably fine with it (or would have addressed the issue already), in which case you pointing it out is only going to annoy her or make her feel like you think her hairy upper lip (and so the rest of her) is unattractive to you (otherwise why would you tell her?).
Humans are mammals, we have hair, some people like it, some people don't, some people choose to remove it, some people don't. It's all cool but even if you're fine with your own body hair it can hurt if someone negatively highlights the bits that you've got. As I say, tread carefully if you don't want to risk hurting her feelings. Is it really that important to risk upsetting your partner?
Well put, DreamsOfChi.
She's almost certainly aware of it. She either doesn't care that she's got darker hair on her upper lip, or she can't/ doesn't dare remove it. In the second case, it could be because she's way too self- conscious, reserved, shy or scared, or because she doesn't have the means to do it (for example, laser hair removal costs a lot!)
Personally I'm disgusted by men that think in the way you have phrased it. Jumping ahead and already asking about ways to remove it - when you don't even know if she wants to remove it!
Should you tell her? Do you think she doesn’t know what’s on her own face? Of course she knows. If she hasn’t removed it, there’s a reason - she may not care, she may be worried abouthe the pain of removal or the fear of it growing back thicker. Regardless, it’s her face and if she is happy to leave it there, the last thing she needs is you making her feel insecure about it! If my husband had ever told me I needed to remove hair from any part of my body, with the implication it made me unattractive, he wouldn’t be my husband!
Me and Mrs Chimp tell each other this kind of thing all the time. I often don't know what's on my own face so I find it quite useful. It sounds like some people are more sensitive to this kind of thing than others though so it's clearly a judgement call.
Most women apply make up or face products most days - so they know what’s on their face. Not trying to be unpleasant, just trying to protect this person’s OH from having a major blow to their self confidence!
It was a conversation that came up with a friend, she got told by a hairdresser and she was shocked none of her friends told her first.
Jay13 wrote:
It was a conversation that came up with a friend, she got told by a hairdresser and she was shocked none of her friends told her first.
Mrs Chimp expects me to be the first to tell her anything like this, and she even gets a little miffed if I haven't. I think a lot comes down to how well you know a person, but personally we find this kind of comment genuinely helpful. If she doesn't want to veet her 'tache then she doesn't have to, it's completely up to her, but she prefers to know if something is noticeable so she can choose what to do about it.
I'm not sure how we got to this stage but it certainly makes things easier for the both of us. 🙂
Agree with Mr Chimp on this one. I'd want my Husband to gently tell me " you have something there babe.. go look in the mirror". Obviously depends on the dynamics of the relationship however.
Also agree with Mr Chimp - I'd be most annoyed with OH if he let me walk around with my skirt tucked in my knickers or whatever.
There IS a kind way of telling her, though. You sound like you're a bit embarrassed about it so take your time and consider how you'd feel being given embarrassing news. Telling her she looks like Tom Selleck will NOT earn you Brownie points!
If you're still unsure how to break the news but definitely want her to get rid of it I'd suggest you treat her to a few hours at a salon, but when you pay for her treat ask the beauty therapist to suggest epiation as it's part of the package.
Thanks for all the comments, the hair doesn't bother me it's be there since day one, just getting a bit darker now, the idea came of the back off the conversation with a friend. Made me think what the community thoughts would be Thank you all for your time.
Jay13 wrote:
Thanks for all the comments, the hair doesn't bother me it's be there since day one, just getting a bit darker now, the idea came of the back off the conversation with a friend. Made me think what the community thoughts would be Thank you all for your time.
I'm glad to hear it doesn't bother you. I'm pretty sure most women would give up costly, painful epilation if more men were like you and we didn't have to bow to pressure from society.
I had a friend in school who went through years of misery due to her dark facial and body hair. The boys tormented her about it. She came home after several years away without the hair after having discovered laser treatment. She was a different girl with loads more confidence who had blossomed into a true beauty. The same guys were all over her at the local. She had the best revenge telling them all to get lost.
It's just a shame we can't see past little imperfections sometimes.