So my husband and I have had a particular problem the entire time we’ve been together. Without getting into pointless details, he just lasts too long. This poses an even bigger problem because while there’s a plethora of products that desensitize and delay, I’ve hardly found anything that increases sensitivity.
9 times out of 10 we have to stop before either of us finish because we’re literally exhausted and physically aren’t capable of continuing. Thankfully this doesn’t happen every time, but it’s ridiculously rare for him to finish any sooner than 10-15 minutes, and that’s if we’re lucky. Most times it’s 30+ and he doesn’t finish at all. We’ve tried toys, we’ll switch to oral or just using my hand for a bit, we’ve tried the warming/cooling sensation lubes (which were NOT enjoyable for either of us ), and I’m out of ideas.
Tl;Dr - Does anyone have any recommendations for a product to help a man finish faster?
It might be worth exploring the mental side of things. I can’t finish if my head isn’t in the right space. Work or life stress can get in the way, or just overthinking what’s happening in the bedroom. You could work on building up the sexual energy before you start to play, teasing throughout the day, naughty pics or texts, etc.
Along those lines, stress, tiredness or any issues that may be on the mind for a period of time can be a major factor in finding it difficult to orgasm.
Having a warm bath surrounded by candles and soft music for while prior to sex may be of help for him.
We (I - Mr) have started having this issue. It’s still feels amazing but just increasingly struggle to get over the edge. Alcohol certainly doesn’t help here and even a couple of units are enough to make matters worse. I’ve never ever had brewers droop type issues, but certainly lack of feeling! But even without alcohol it seems to happen. All I can think is that it’s potentially some form of death grip problem. I do tend to masterbate a lot and perhaps I’m just increasingly rough? Perhaps he should hold off the masterbation for a few weeks (though I think for me that would be virtually impossible). Then perhaps add some toys to help you? Our womanizer premium is mrs B’s go to if she is struggling to finish.
If you use condoms, try switching them up. As a student I pretty much only used the Durex extra safe ones which are a bit thicker and when I got drunk I very rarely finished due to being drunk and those condoms but I could finish when I used other ones. So if you use them try switching it up to a thinner one.
In the past, when me and the OH would get it on, I would sometimes only be able to finish with her on all fours and me behind if I was fairly lit up on booze. Something about that position or angle felt different and made it easier for me to reach a climax. But, back then we were also using condoms which definitely reduce sensitivity.
These days, I feel like I am too sensitive and finish way too quickly some days but I’m usually not as liquored up, we’re no longer using condoms, and I’m older
A bit of a background, he’s had this problem pretty much since he was first sexually active. He thinks it’s because his ex would keep edging him, but would just never let him finish, and after a couple of years of it that’s what his body (and mind) got used to. So this has been an issue with every single partner he’s had.
We don’t use condoms and never have. The only thing I’m not too sure on is how often he gets himself off because we don’t really talk about it at all.
I don’t doubt it’s some sort of a mental block, but the problem is that he’s had this issue since he was 17.
I think most women would be stoked to get 30+ minutes out of a man since the stigma is that men are 5-minute sex machines. Sometimes if I masturbate ahead of the sex session with the OH, I can also go 30+ minutes but only if I relieved the pressure ahead of time.
Do you think he would benefit from some mental stimulus with some mild porn watching together or oral while he watches (if he would agree to it)? Perhaps one session in the AM and even if he doesn’t finish, going back for more in the evening? I know I could shoot across the room waiting all day to go.
It is frustrating especially when he can’t go and just wants to cum. You likely get ore and then he likely gets apologetic… I suppose maybe his mind and plumbing was built for porn! Most of our OH’s would be happy for some longer sessions. But I can understand your struggles with this one.
There are so many problems that just don’t get talked about, be it premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, lasting too long. Everyone just seem to put up with it so i’m glad you are talking about it and looking for solutions. May be the balm mentioned earlier may help. I hope you find a solution which you are both happy with.
I’m pissed when I only last 20 min, but my wife tells me that’s perfect for her, but she usually has a vibrating butt plug in and also using a wand so I get hit from both directions, and that’s not a bad thing
I get that a lot, bit damn it gets painful after about 20 minutes lol depending on how many breaks we take or how many times we switch what we’re doing it can go on for about an hour or so. As much as I love my OH and I very much enjoy him in bed, I don’t have time for that every single time
Unfortunately porn is very much not my thing, to the point of it being a huge turn off and being almost repulsed by it. For him I’d very much prefer he not since that’s been an issue in the past of choosing porn over actually having sex.
Lastly we have opposite work schedules. He works over nights and I work days. So once he gets off work, I’m asleep, and once I get off work I only have about 2 hours before he has to go to work again, so I have to fit cooking, cleaning, etc., in that time frame.
@SpookyB I’ll be honest, I’ve had this issue a few times. When I was a bit younger, it would be because of alcohol. Now, I think it is more mental. Stress, anxiety are usually culprits. Once or twice it has been due to me wanting something but being a bit too shy to ask for it. Have you tried some breathing and relaxing? I hate to say it but some yoga before isn’t a bad idea. Does he exercise at all? Sometimes your body changes and you have to adapt and try and figure out what’s going on.
I would advise keeping his mind on the topic all day to wind him up before hand, then during switching positions, talking dirty, and finally I’d suggest lube just to make it more comfortable for you.
I have this problem a lot. The solution is usually to pull out and finish myself off with my hand.
As long as the person who lasts too long makes their partner finish first, it should be ok to last too long. But when you just need it to end now, jerking it like they would alone and are used to can yeild faster results.
), and I’m out of ideas.
