Lazy pattern

What do i need to do bout my spouse being so lazy in bed?Like she doesn’t move make a sound makes me do all the work like she won’t even get on top all she wants me to do is go down on her and she won’t do the same for me.Plus the fact of the shes so BIG our options are limited in what we can and cant do in bed.What should I do bout this?


Have you spoken to her about it? It could be a lack of confidence? It’s taken me ages to start opening up to my OH, my self esteem was at an all time low & I would cringe at his touch. Lie there wishing it was over - horrid, I know. I’m working on it & a few little adjustments have things on the right path!


Yes totally agree with @lulubee you must talk to your OH about this communication is vital to resolve issues from both parties ! hope you get things sorted real soon ! :hugs:

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Ive talked I’ve begging I’ve tried everything

Latex73 I’ve talked till blue in the face shes just selfish


Well if I’m detecting an unhappy with relationship vibe only you can decide if you stay or move on we only get one life to live to the fullest we can while we can my friend !


When you say you’ve talked to her, what have you actually said? Have you asked her if she is happy with your sex life? What things she would be comfortable with and asked her outright for what you would like?

Also, when have you had these conversations? Are they at time when you both have time to sit and talk when neither of you is horny?


If the way you’ve spoken to her face even slightly reflects the way you’re disrespecting her on here I’m not surprised she’s not interested in doing what you want.

In 1 post you’ve already blamed/insulted her size and called her both selfish and lazy.

I definitely wouldn’t wanna put my joints through that pain for someone that speaks about me like that


If you’ve made her feel like she’s so “BIG” and because of that your “options are limited”
No wonder she doesn’t want to make the effort.

What should you do about it? Well make her feel loved…desired and attractive. It’s the person you love and want to be with.

Try going back to basics talk…talk and talk more when you both have the time and not in the bedroom. Ask how you can improve your sex life as a couple…and see if you both can work it out together.

Good Luck


@Jazzam this is just how I talk I say what’s on my mind at that given time I don’t have what they call a filter.If it pops in head it just comes out my mouth I’ve had it my whole life guess its partly to do with my ADHD and how bipolar I am but on the other had my wife is bipolar as well she knows I love her and I like BIGGER lady’s definitely love dat FAT ASS

You need to talk away from the bedroom.
Tell her that she is the woman you desire and that you want a satisfying sex life for both of you.
It is the mortar that helps to hold the bricks of a relationship together .
If she is unhappy with how she looks, tell her you will both get on a lifestyle change plan and work with her to achieve what she wants.
Just keep talking and reminding her how much you love " her".


I’d also agree communication will be the best way forwards in trying to talk to her about this and how your feeling.

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I’m a larger woman and I have all sorts of bedroom olympics with my husband. We have a very healthy, open and honest relationship and like you my husband loves that I’m larger.

There are some parts of my body I’m not so confident about, but they in no way outweigh the good bits!

Please don’t think your OH is being selfish, she might just be feeling self conscious and is maybe feeding off your emotions too.

Start by talking about the bits of you both that you love and find attractive. Then make the most of those bits and try to build your relationship back up again.

Good luck, it’s not easy but if your relationship is worth fighting for you’ll both find a way. Xx

As a follow larger women, yes some positions are more difficult, I personally don’t like being on top and it is partly due to my size as I feel self conscious. Personally me and OH have found positions where he takes he from being is best, I can push back against him and sometimes take over and he has the perfect view to watch.

You need to talk to your partner and see what’s going on and find compromise. Not everyone enjoys giving oral and that’s okay. Sit down and find away that you can both enjoy intimacy together.