Looking to be more adventurous

So I'm not a shy person so have no problem asking my other half to spice up our sex life but I've run out of ideas lol. We recently introduced Pegging which she gets turned by but I'm looking for something that's for her benefit more than mine but she is the shy type so it's hard to get her to open up about her more kinky ideas.

Are you sure it's a matter of shyness? everyone's needs are different, and if she's turned on by what you are already doing she may not want anything different (being turned on is in fact a benefit for her, in my opinion). I my case anything I can do that pleasures my partner turns me on as much as being in the receiving end of attention, and I'm eager to try anything he asks for (almost, I wouldn't dare to hurt him even if he asked for it). My needs are quite simple: just being confident that I can be myself, and a partner that cares about my pleasure and listens to me (even when I don't have anything fancy to ask for). You should consider this and maybe ask if she feels something similar.

That said, reading erotica together can give you the opportunity of discussing situations or techniques she may be open to try, and also eyeing with her through lovehoney's offer in toys and beyond (furniture, massage, sensation play...) can open a dialogue.

But first I think you should make sure she knows that whether she finds something new to try for herself or not, it's ok.

Of course this is just my opinion, based in my own experience.

+1

Such good advice Sole.

ASR1 wrote:

So I'm not a shy person so have no problem asking my other half to spice up our sex life but I've run out of ideas lol. We recently introduced Pegging which she gets turned by but I'm looking for something that's for her benefit more than mine but she is the shy type so it's hard to get her to open up about her more kinky ideas.

Being on this forum has already helped me to open up to new ideas and venture 'out of the box'. It's great fun and a real 'turn on' to learn new techiques, discover more about myself (and my fantasies and deepest desires!). I've become more confident and less shy in telling my hubby what I like and asking him 'Are you into this?'. We've learned so much more about each other and how we both tick sexually - communication is definitely the key to begin exploring new ideas. x

Another good thing is to look at what you have purchased on Lovehoney and try one new thing at a time. I'm introducing bondage to hubby slowly - he was a bit overwhelmed at first, but we've tried a bit of flogging and spanking. I have worn latex for him and I'm looking forward to being handcuffed and tied up!!

It's going to be fun when I get my next items as my hubby is going to get involved with me looking on Lovehoney now - I'm excited and intrigued to find out what he's really into! Hope this helps you. 😉

If your looking to benefit your partner then you need to explore her fantasies, if she’s into wearing a blindfold then maybe try a bit of light bondage for instance. If you feel you want to spice things up then usually something is missing or isn’t being fulfilled so you need to ask yourself and your partner what you want to try. Maybe give yourselves a task to write 10 sexy ideas or scenarios and play them out. Like maybe act like strangers meeting for the first time in town and go for a coffee but keep conversation like a First date and even if it feels awkward that’s good, you want to replicate that and build up a sexual chemistry. You can also try dressing up, reversing roles, re-enact a porno, talk dirty, sext, leave secret sexy messages around the house or in wallets and purses, sex in the dark or by candlelight, buy a latex sheet and play in massage oil for super slippy sex. The list is endless ☺️. But communication is key so speak to your partner and find what she would like to try.

Thanks alot everyone:) the advice is top notch, I'm gonna go through the website with her and let her lead me to what she might be interested in and she where that takes us. Thanks

Definitely love some of the advice that’s already been given. Reading erotica together is a great idea to see how your SO feels about certain situations and role play. I’d also recommend doing an online quiz and sharing your results with each other. Me and my current partner completed the BDSM test and a few others, and that opened up a dialogue about where our interests overlapped and what we could do to each other. Best of luck!

I didn't expect such detailed and helpfull replies, soles comments seem to describe my other half perfectly. Always willing to try anything but always happy with our sex life. BDSM test sounds interesting so I'll have to look that up :)

LIL_KNOWN69 wrote:

If your looking to benefit your partner then you need to explore her fantasies, if she’s into wearing a blindfold then maybe try a bit of light bondage for instance. If you feel you want to spice things up then usually something is missing or isn’t being fulfilled so you need to ask yourself and your partner what you want to try. Maybe give yourselves a task to write 10 sexy ideas or scenarios and play them out. Like maybe act like strangers meeting for the first time in town and go for a coffee but keep conversation like a First date and even if it feels awkward that’s good, you want to replicate that and build up a sexual chemistry. You can also try dressing up, reversing roles, re-enact a porno, talk dirty, sext, leave secret sexy messages around the house or in wallets and purses, sex in the dark or by candlelight, buy a latex sheet and play in massage oil for super slippy sex. The list is endless ☺️. But communication is key so speak to your partner and find what she would like to try.

Amazing advice (tried and tested - and it's mysterious and fun!). I couldn't have put it any better myself. x 😯😋 Slippy sex is ace with a latex sheet!

+ 1 to slippery sex. But then again - I am a splosher!!

My biggest turn on is knowing that my hubby is enjoying whatever we are doing, in fact it drives me wild, I also find him sharing his fantasies with me are a big turn on. Whilst having sex I’m open for talking about turn ons but if he were to ask me over dinner I would be at a loss & get embarrassed despite definitely not being shy about sex with him! I think setting the scene, maybe some massage, some foreplay, and talking to her then may help her to open up, if she’s chatty after sex maybe look at love honey and put in an order together. You may find that she’s happy just going along with the way things are , so long as you are making sure her needs are met.

ASR1 wrote:

So I'm not a shy person so have no problem asking my other half to spice up our sex life but I've run out of ideas lol. We recently introduced Pegging which she gets turned by but I'm looking for something that's for her benefit more than mine but she is the shy type so it's hard to get her to open up about her more kinky ideas.

I wouldn't assume she isn't geting a lor from pegging. I get two things from pegging my husband - firstly I love making him moan and squirm, and secondly, it rubs on my clit in a way that no other toy I've ever found does, so I can cum five or six times in a row whilst I'm pegging him. It is our third harness and definitely the best we've found for lining things up.