1. It was an assault - he shouldn't have done anything you didn't want. And the way he did - no lube or anything, means he didn't care much whether he would hurt you or not - so it is really for the best that you got rid off him.
2. It is best to see a doctor for this problem - so that they can see if there is any internal damage or something. And considering that you were sore there recently - I really think you should be seen by a specialist. Yes, it could be embarassing - but they are used to seeing such stuff so just try to wrap your head around this and think that it is just their job and so on... Not that it helps me much, since I am also shy for such things, but you might be better than me in self-persuasion. :)
You poor thing. That must have been terrifying. Certainly don't let him near you ever again because what he did is unforgivable (as well as totally illegal).
I understand why you don't want to see a doctor as it might be embarrassing but equally you can't risk letting that ass hole cause you permanent harm. Get it checked.
I think any future partners need to be vetted on here so we can make sure they will treat you like you deserve.
Hi I'm really sorry he has put you through this I am definitely with everyone else you deserve so much better I hope you find the strength to do what's right for you what ever that be but if your still in pain or bleeding I would definitely go seek medical attention x
Oh hell honey, so sorry you had to go through this. As lots of others have said, what that scumbag did was sexual assault and you could have him arrested. That's up to you but remember this isn't the first time he's crossed the line with you.
I really hope you're feeling better this morning, but don't worry about getting checked out if you need to. You're very young and if he has damaged you internally it needs to be sorted. Any doctor is likely to have seen it all before or you can always ring 111 for advice.
You aren't alone, sweetie. We're all here to chat to whenever you need to. You're a very generous and caring young woman and I'm sure we're all hoping you recover fast and find yourself someone who truly deserves you.
So terrible to read what you've gone through. In my home country (Sweden) this is rape by law! I don't know how it is in UK, but I'd advice you to have an examination and this for two reasons -
1) to be sure you're physically ok, it's no embarasment in seeing a doctor for genital examination, they're used to it,
2) if this guy ever makes a new attempt you have the proof from this first (and hopefully, last) time.
You did absolutely right when you threw him out of your life and hopefully he will.
Wish you all luck for the future, may you meet a man you deserve.
I agree with all the above posts. What he did was clearly assault, even if it started off as consensual. Well done for being strong and kicking him out. I would also go for a checkup with your doctor for your own piece of mind - I can guarantee that it won't be as scary as you think!
You seem such a sweet and lovely person, you definitely deserve someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
MissBrownEyes, what he did was assault. I'm glad you've kicked him out, but please realise that you can tell him or others that it was assault (because it was, it doesn't matter what he used) so he realises the seriousness. It sounds like he could think it's ok, and that you just weren't up for it, but it's disrespectful and illegal.
I would seriously suggest going to your doctor. Even if it's nothing to worry about, if this guy does anything more to you having this incident on record might be useful. Talking to them and telling them exactly what happened is just one more person you can vent to as well!
I hope you feel better soon
Agreed.
Glad he's now your ex. It would do no harm in going to your doctor or clinic and having a wee check up, I would mention to them that you are concerned because it was against your will. I would also mention to him that he's upset you because of the assault and tell him it's not acceptable. Hopefully, he'll not be stupid enough to do that to you again, but at least if he did you would have this incident on record with your doctor/clinic. So many rapes go unreported for various reasons, leaving some people to think what they did was ok because they got away with it.
Is this the same guy that tried to double penetrate you with a dildo/rabbit while he was inside you, without asking your permission?! (I apologise if I'm getting my people mixed up by the way!)
What has happened is definitely a sexual assault, and however embarrassing and mortifying it is I'd seriously consider going to visit a doctor or telling the police. I know that sounds extreme, but this guy could do the same thing to any other woman. I personally can't handle much girth at all so if someone did this to me not only would it physically hurt, but it would it would be mentally devastating.
I'm so glad you got rid of this guy for good. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through something so terrible, if there is anything I can do to help you please don't hesitate to ask.
And please do consider going to a GUM clinic/GP and the police. I know it's scary but you have been assaulted, whether it was his penis or a dildo, it doesn't matter.
Boogaloo yeah it was the same guy. He has a huge fetish for large toys/dp/anal and i was on trying all that out with him but ofc i wanted to go slow and do it gradually 'but how boring for him' lol.
Well this guy knows the last time he done it that i came on here and spoke about it and he moaned at me for putting personal problems on the internet to which i replied that it's not like i chucking it on facebook but on a secure place where no one is going to know my real name or judge me and that i just wanted advice on how to ease off with the pain. Then he had the cheek to call me disrespectful for not confiding in him (although the boy is lucky ive not publicly broadcasted his name over here!)
I'm actually in shock how many people have posted on here. How many people have wanted to check in and give advice. I woke up this morning (sorry for the TMI) and all i have now is a slight pink discharge although thats mostly gone but im gonna keep an eye on it and if by monday its still there i'll get myself down to the hospital and visit the GUM clinic. I've been before i like to get myself checked yearly but ive only ever had to do urine/blood/swab tests (the swab of which ive done myself). Thank you for everyone that gave me that idea i honestly didnt think about that and the only thing that crossed my mind was a doctor.
I also came to see reading this that it was assult...which made me cry abit but then made me stand up tall and realise i am not taking that lying down. I've just sent him a text telling him he is beyond lucky i'm not taking this to the police however if he gets back in contact with me or if i even hear from him again i will be taking it further. I guess i just never would have put toys up there on the 'assualt' list.
I'm sorry i cant remember who wrote it im still in awe over how many people wrote back to me but someone asked what dildo it was? It was like a fist dildo but of what looked like two hands in a praying kind of position? if that makes any sense?
LH sent me my replacment items for a toy i sent back last week today so i have a book to snuggle up in bed with (thankfully i was working the early shift at work today so im home now) So i have my book to read and a hot choc in my hand. I also got my love egg which im excited to try later...maybe somepoint next week its nice and small so that would be a good way to start introducting a toy back...
Just thank you everyone! The past couple of weeks have been terrible lol! But my heart already feels lighter now he is gone. I dont have to be ready for him to come round to my house and have sex with me whenever he wanted. It's nice to just have a night in to relax! Plus it means i get to rest my knee lol
Love to you all! Please let me know if you ever need anything! I know i have said this before this happened but even more so now.
Well done you, youve done the right thing to get him out of your life I agree with you if any bleeding or discomfort continues to seek medical advice, I have experienced bleeding during sex but it wasn't force sex obviously thst rough n position just didn't suit me I was uncomfortable for a day or 2 but I was ok. Chin up hunni x
if he gets back in contact with me or if i even hear from him again i will be taking it further.
This is why I really think you should go to the doctor and tell them what happened. It will then be on some sort of record if you do need to take it further at any point, but you're also not obliged to do anything like go to the police. If he does start contacting or harassing you and you go to the police then there will be no evidence (like medical evidence) of this incident. I have been sexually assaulted and didn't report it to anyone and I regret it. If you tell your doctor it's just there if you do want to bring it further, and if not no harm done.
Glad to hear youre not in too much pain today. Having an examination shouldnt be too bad. I imagine it would be similar to a smear test but less invasive so nothing to worry about.
I would maybe stay away from any internal toys until you have been seen and see what the professionals say.
The shape of the toy you describe sounds like it would be very painful and is completely different to the toys youve mentioned you have used so far so even if it doesnt have sharp edges it couldve caused grazing especially if there was no lube.
Enjoy the rest of the day relaxing!
also i agree that you should report it to the medical professional who sees you. Things have evolved so much that they wont be judging you. There used to be a time where people were fearful to report sexual abuse within a relationship for fear of not being believed and people thought thag rape/sexual assault only occured when you were attacked by a stranger. Anything you tell them will be confidential, and since youre over 18 they should leave it up to you to decide if you want to involve the police.
if he gets back in contact with me or if i even hear from him again i will be taking it further.
This is why I really think you should go to the doctor and tell them what happened. It will then be on some sort of record if you do need to take it further at any point, but you're also not obliged to do anything like go to the police. If he does start contacting or harassing you and you go to the police then there will be no evidence (like medical evidence) of this incident. I have been sexually assaulted and didn't report it to anyone and I regret it. If you tell your doctor it's just there if you do want to bring it further, and if not no harm done.
+1, I think it's important to have it on record, otherwise it could end up being your word against his.
So proud of you for the way you're coping with this and for standing up to him, I hope you continue to feel better and come and speak to us if you want a chat again xx
if he gets back in contact with me or if i even hear from him again i will be taking it further.
This is why I really think you should go to the doctor and tell them what happened. It will then be on some sort of record if you do need to take it further at any point, but you're also not obliged to do anything like go to the police. If he does start contacting or harassing you and you go to the police then there will be no evidence (like medical evidence) of this incident. I have been sexually assaulted and didn't report it to anyone and I regret it. If you tell your doctor it's just there if you do want to bring it further, and if not no harm done.
Libralover has got a great point actually,.. I too woukd avoid any sexual activities for at least a few days ..
I'm late to the thread, but I'm so sorry this happened to you. Don't be scared to go to a doctor or the police. You could even give NHS direct a call if you don't feel able to speak to someone face to face yet but need some medical advice. This person is a disgusting scumbag and you have the right to do everything you can to keep him away from you and keep yourself healthy and safe. I would also suggest refraining from sexual activities until you've been checked out by a doctor (I would strongly recommend it). Remember doctors have seen it all before - nothing you say or show them should shock them.
It may also be worth talking to a counsellor or contacting a sexual assault helpline (don't want to post links as I don't know what part of the country you're in) but I'm sure there would be something suitable available in your area. Stay strong and remember we're all here for you on the forums.
So proud of you for the way you're coping with this and for standing up to him, I hope you continue to feel better and come and speak to us if you want a chat again xx
+1 on this too, I think you actually handled it really well and well done for kicking him out! We all want you to be ok!
Ok everyone so i phoned up the local GUM clinic and spoke to a nurse there they said they don't really do much on weekends but if i go in monday morning they will do all the basic tests (blood/swab/pee) and then let me know the results just so i can have a piece of mind and they also said i will have to speak with a 'trained rape therapist' (regardless the fact it was a toy as it was still a sexual assualt) and they fill in a 'assualt form' and that lists when it happened and what happened etc and what tests i had done (and later the results too) and his name if i wish. Then they can refer me for more mental health help if needed. Plus at a later date an internal exam if i want one or feel i need one
So question is..? Do i tell them that it was a toy? or do i say he actually done it? I mean telling someone over the phone and telling someone in person is a totally different thing! Also are you able to take a friend with you?
Ok everyone so i phoned up the local GUM clinic and spoke to a nurse there they said they don't really do much on weekends but if i go in monday morning they will do all the basic tests (blood/swab/pee) and then let me know the results just so i can have a piece of mind and they also said i will have to speak with a 'trained rape therapist' (regardless the fact it was a toy as it was still a sexual assualt) and they fill in a 'assualt form' and that lists when it happened and what happened etc and what tests i had done (and later the results too) and his name if i wish. Then they can refer me for more mental health help if needed. Plus at a later date an internal exam if i want one or feel i need one
So question is..? Do i tell them that it was a toy? or do i say he actually done it? I mean telling someone over the phone and telling someone in person is a totally different thing! Also are you able to take a friend with you?
When you say"should I tell them it was a toy? Or do I say he actually done it?" What exactly do you mean? If the inference is that you might say the damage was caused by his penis please reconsider.