Sorry to hear you feel this way, I have too felt like this, I have been with my partner for 7 years now, we have grown apart over the years, ive craved intimacy but when he touched me I knew it would be in a cycle of sex and then distance, to the point where i wanted to walk away and feel confident i will do so, but we are working on this now after i had a very frank brutal open and honest conversation with him. I have been on your side where you feel that closeness is what you need to feel a connection with your partner but i wasn’t prepared to be fucked and back to square one.
I do have a whole thread on this was called is love enough Is love enough? - #84 by Mr_Kink1
I had lots of people opinions, been a few years since that thread and im now at my final straw.
I don’t have money to start again but for me mentally i know if i have to i will figure it out because i can’t stay unhappy.
What im getting at after this ramble, put yourself first, i personally started doing things for me, new haircut, clothes, new goals etc but above all that im putting my happiness first as i felt drained for years. Above everything to be the best father, partner or co parent if thats what you eventually choose, you need to put yourself first. Have an open conversation and get everything out, i felt guilty i had at first but i felt better after. Try a conversation, see how you feel, ask how she feels, she may feel a way that your not seeing because women do after kids feel self conscious about there body, things change i know mine did.
Best of luck, i hope you 2 can work it out.