I have to add to this again
And it is repeating point made already
fwb when one is married the other not, does not work ! (unless its open and above board)
he may well be lying to you about his home life
he maybe targetting you because of you vulnerable ?
he may well have others in the same position telling them all the same
Im not the one cheating wrong your as guilty as him if not more so
your looking for permission , I would say walk away and take a long look for others point of veiw
The end result will most likely not be a fwb but guilt broken marriage lose of freinds and you alone
sorry if I seem cruel or heartless and im not understanding your point of view but
if you can put yourself in his wife's shoes ? maybe there is a reason for a sexless marriage if it truley is , mental medical or other how would you feel if you found out your husband had been cheating ?
Thanks all. Your opinions are much appreciated x
What confuses me a little is why YOU want to do it?
Why choose a friends with benefits relationship with a married guy, when you could surely find someone single to have fun with?
I understand that sometimes one person appeals to you, but I would worry that this is a sign of bad self confidence on your part, as you cannot fear rejection if you already know you are going to be rejected.
apologies for the pop psychology there.
But honestly, weigh up the benefits of this, and the negatives, and think about what you are getting from this that you feel you couldn't get elsewhere, even if it means waiting, and even if it appeals at this moment in time.
If you think that it is worth it, then do go ahead, it is your decision to make after all :)
Like others have said I couldn't live with myself if I did that. But It's your life maybe just asked yourself how you would feel if you was that mans wife?
In the end it really is you’re decision, I personally wouldn’t do it but that’s my choice. I agree that you should go in there with you’re eyes open if you do decide to be FWB with him but to also be prepared for the backlash, affairs normally don’t stay hidden for long. Just be aware of those who can get hurt by this and the repercussions that can happen due to this.
I agree in a way that he is the one who is cheating because he is the one who has made a commitment to his wife - you haven't made that to her but you do have to take some responsibility in knowing that you were involved in aiding his cheating.
It is solely you’re choice though and if you feel that it’s right then I have no right to say it’s not, just make sure you play safe.
If he wasn't in a relationship then I wouldn't see a problem in it, just knowing the wife would be enough for me to say no and if he was a true friend then he wouldn't expect anything other than an understanding ear.
It is like playing with fire....regardless of the issues regarding his sex life with his wife he needs to be addressing them with her, maybe if he flirted with her and made her feel amazing then things may very well be different for them.
I have a friend who is in the same situation and he was going to meet a friend of his wife just for sex until I talked him out of it....for all he knew it could have been a honey trap he was walking in to and plus for the sake of his marriage and children, was a quick fumble really worth it.
Introduce him to lovehoney and get him buying some fleshlights to use...
I know how it feels to be cheated on and I would never in a million years knowingly go in to anything where there is the aspect of cheating....think of the poor wife, she has done nothing wrong besides have a low sex drive which I am sure we all go through at times. I would back away from the situation and tell him to talk to his wife and start using his hands
Do you know anything about his wife? Do they have children or a young baby? She could suffer depression or anything as to why her supposed sex drive is low. You really only have this mans word for things. If it were me I would be running in the opposite direction regardless of the obvious thrill this whole charade seems to have for you. When you are single then you're free, once there is a ring in place there are rules and boundaries which no one should step over. I couldn't sleep at night if I knowingly slept with a married man...
End of the day you are old enough to make the right decision but a decision that doesn't consider your own yearning and desire!
Best of luck making the right choice
Sorry have some morals put yourself in his wife shoes, where he is he one cheating or not you are encouraging it by engaging in sex with him . No have some self respect for yourself and dont be used for just sex which is basically what it is , tell him he has rosey palm and her 5 friends .
Protect yourself. Aren't you just being fed the usual cheating man bullship......she doesn't understnad me like you do, we 'get' each other you and I......she no longer wants to have sex with me....ya-di-ya.
Sounds to me like every line a married man has fed a woman he wants to kerboing on the side.
I've been the cheated on wife AND I've been the mistress. Neither is any easier than the other. Just the fact u he and the wife have friends in common rings alarm bells!!! Purely from a selfish pov do you really want to be 'that tart that broke up mr&mrs x'??
Potentially could affect your friendships, future relationships even your career (my ex h had affair with a girl in the same office. Both of their careers were majorly messed up as a result)
Find someone who is not taken. Imagine when this blows. All that mess. Not worth it. I'm in the same shit. Waist deep. I have no sex with my woman and if we do it's only a few minutes. She can't take any more and begs me to cum. Worst sex I've ever had. So i look elsewere. I usually have only one true FWB but i make sure nobody from my circles know that person. That's not yr case. It's going to be lot stress when this blows as I know what it's like since I've been caught before. I know that I should be the last person to give moral advice here but it's wrong and what if you fall for him? You gonna suffer more thatn living sexless live xxx
If you are seeking third party permission and he's really serious about this then tell him that you want a meeting with his wife to lay down the ground rules. That way you will know for sure if he's serious or just flirting.
Over the years iv'e come across a few couples that have had a long term 'arrangement' two of them had moved the 'extra' in as lodgers both were (MMF).
We're all different. But cheating is cheating.
I have had a FWB or fuck buddy as we put it about 10 years ago but I was the married man, My fuck buddy was my OH's best friend, I have known her for as long as I've known my OH, we always had a bit of an attraction to each other. She had split from her husband and me and my OH had a good marriage but my OH had no sexual experience and so we had a non existent sex life regardless of what I tried, I was lucky to get it once a month and my FB knew this by what my OH told her, I knew she knew and as she was "very" experienced I asked her to give my OH some pointers and advice, unfortunately as much as she tried it made no difference so the more me and Her talked the more we both realised we had the same needs and also realised we also had the same taste of kinky/fetish sex this was when we decided to make a pact to become fuck buddies on the understanding that if she met someone we'd stop, if my sexual relationship with my OH picked up we'd stop, if we were struggling to hide it we'd stop or most importantly as it was only a sexual arrangement if we started to get too close we would definitely stop!
The irony is that even though my FB opened my eyes to a new world of sex and sexual practices it' wasn't a patch of anything me and my now kinky slut of a OH gets upto on a very frequent basis, I don't regret my FB but I did learn with a bit of patience I would have got what I wanted eventually!
seems selfish for someone who doesnt want sex, like sex, or just not prepared to have sex to then expect their partner to stay or be celebate. better to ask your OH for permission than to be sneaky. if she/he says no, then they can't value their relationship much. there should be respect for each others needs.
professionals will tell you that without intimacy a relationship is unlikely to be successful long term.
I haven't had sex outside my marriage. if I do it will be with understanding and knowledge, if not permission. I would only consider someone I knew well enough - either married (similar situation) or long term single (that I trust isn't actually a home wrecker).