Hello all, I’ve lost all sex drive and can’t have sec without lots of lube. I’m 37, could it be the change??

What can I do to get my mojo back?

That sounds very young to start menopause, obvious questions would be has there been any change to your cycle, still regular in terms of days between and how long it lasts?

Could be something else and worth talking to your GP about?

It could be early menopause or it could be something else. I’d definitely go to your GP and have a chat with them.

in the meantime take a look at Dr Louise Newson’s website (not sure if I’m allowed to link it, but you should find it if you google) and take a look at her very helpful menopause fact sheets, which include other symptoms that you might be suffering, such as irregular periods, tiredness, irritability, mood swings, night sweats, head aches, aches and pains in your muscles or joints, hair thinning etc (there are many possible symptoms) and if you think this might be happening to you, you can ask your GP for some blood tests. If you ARE in early menopause, you might want to think about HRT which will protect you against osteoporosis in particular, and is important for younger women. It’s possible to be in peri-menopause and still have periods (indeed I am still having them at age 55), so it’s important to not dismiss menopause out of hand because you’re under 40.

there’s also helpful fact sheets about the types of HRT. transdermal (gel/cream or patches) are generally thought to be safer than tablets, there’s a lot of misinformation about HRT around - so take a read of the facts before you go to see your GP.

on the other hand, it might be nothing to do with menopause, but could be a side effect to medication, stress, depression. we’re not doctors here, so I think it’s important to chat to a professional. Good Luck!


I’m going to leave this link here to the menopause charity (It doesn’t sell any products so is hopefully OK to do) which has a lot of factual information.

with regards to improving your sex life, there’s nothing wrong with using plenty of lube! and do you have any toys at the moment? I particularly like the soft touch range by Tracy Cox that LH sells

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Maybe ask your doc for a thyroid check? Mine’s been spluttering and teetering on the “needs treatment” threshold for several years (i.e. since I was 37) - it was getting bad at the start of lockdown but I was forced to wait it out for a year for a blood test. My sex drive plummeted in that time and has been lower, I believe because of it, for the last few years, but I’ve finally got meds and things are on the up again.

Yes it could be early menopause my wife started about your age and is still suffering at 61 ! I would go and see your GP and look into all options. My wife won’t look at HRT due to family having breast cancer and she has no sex drive. Keep pressing the doctor for answers or trying seeing different experts if you do not get the right answers. Ladies should not suffer.

Every one is different my submissive is sometime wet sometimes she dry as anything and sometimes sex drive is great but also never there

Since turning 52 I have no sex drive. I wish I could find it again. I’ve tried all kinds of things and it’s just not there.

I really feel for you, my wife lost it around 40 when early menopause started and she has never got it back. She won’t consider HRT due to breast cancer risks.
Have you considered HRT? Might be worth seeing doctor for advice @Lovethebigd

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Thanks for the info @GoGirl12 this must be something to look into.

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Thanks so much for your advice. I will read up on the HRT.

I will definitely check into that. Thank you.

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