Mental Health Replase

Hi all (Please note trigger warning)

I dont know if this is the right place and please can Jess or Cazz remove this if not alloud. I was wondering if anyone can help me. I've been struggling alot recently as most of you know, everything has gotten on top of me but this time i went right back to that really bad place and iv'e started SH again.

I was wondering just if anyone else is going though this right now? I cant go to a doctor because that will send me back even further and i will most likley be written off work even longer and i hate that but of course i do need to do something. I think i need some help on the breavment side of things i dont know. Does anyone have anywhere i can contact that is anonomous.

I've cut though everything including the palm of my hand so infection is also another major risk. What can i buy thats is breathable but also waterproof to wear when i am out?

Sorry for the terrible post

If the wound is open and won't close together then you need steri strips and you can get waterproof ones! I've used them countless times for SH reasons and they help to hold the skin in place and as they're only thin strips they're very breathable! Make sure you clean it out well first. I haven't self harmed in over a year now after a long stint in a unit but I do know how you're feeling. I'd just like to tell you that things get easier and I hope for you they ease up sooner rather than later. As for anonymous you could talk to the Samaritans I've emailed them a lot in the past and they've been very helpful :) The compassionate friends and cruse berevement care are a couple of other choices specific to berevment both of which you can find their numbers or emails online x

Second the suggestion for the Samaritans, I don't have any experience with Cruse berevement care but I've heard them reccomended a lot in the past. They have resources to read through on their website, from what I recall? Samaritans are lovely to talk to anyway and they could potentially put you onto any other organisations that you could talk to that would specialise in berevement.

I know it sounds like the wrong way to think, but don't beat yourself up over this. You're going through an awful time and you've used what for many people who have self harmed is the most powerful coping mechanism there is. It's like when people give up smoking, but as soon as a hard time hits the first thing they reach for is a cigarette (except of course, society accepts smoking in hard times despite the fact that they are both harmful behaviours).

Don't feel like you've fucked up. The fact that you managed not to SH for so long is still a major achievement and that is NOT lessened by the fact that you did it again. The fact that you did it now does not make you a failure in any way. As someone who has the urge to self harm evey damn time something bad happens in life, I can understand why you did it again and while obviously it would be better if you could find something less harmful towards yourself to help you cope, it is okay that you did it. You have enough on your plate at the minute so please, don't put yourself down because you slipped. It's understandable given the cirumstances.

I'm afraid I don't know what you could buy to cover up, but you could buy some Savlon antiseptic cream to help prevent infection. They sell it at Boots for £2 or £3 a tube.

Stay safe <3

I would also suggest Samaritans, Cruse bereavement and Mind but SaneLine may also be able to provide emotional support and direct you to services in your area. I also found the self help worksheets on moodjuice (an NHS website) quite good:

Here is some good information on wound care: Infection can potentially be very dangerous so if you do have any signs of infection, please see your doctor or go to a walk in clinic.

Self harm isn't necessarily a reason to be written off work longer. If you explain to your doctor why more time off work wouldn't help, they should hopefully support you.

I've self harmed for over 15 years in various ways but in the past few years I have reduced it significantly by finding alternatives. Like lovebirds_x says, don't beat yourself for self harming though. It's a slip up not a failure and you can get back on track.

Here are some of my alternatives to self harm:

Breathing: It’s quite useful! If you are prone to anxiety then focusing on regulating your breathing can help minimise the symptoms and allow you to focus on the cognitive aspects and underlying issues.

Distraction: While running away from issues is not a positive coping mechanism, taking five minutes to calm down and think can be. I can’t say smoking is healthy but I do use a cigarette and a cup of tea as a five minute distractor and often those five minutes make all the difference.
Do something constructive: Bake, sort out that pile of papers that have been sitting on a chair for the past month, do the washing up, draw. It doesn’t matter what you do so long as it is constructive rather than destructive.
Writing: I find writing helps me process and slow down my thought. Sometimes I rant to myself or on a forum, sometimes I write a blog post and sometimes I write things which are playing on my mind but I don’t feel able/don’t want to talk to anyone about.
Talking/communicating: Sometimes speaking to someone helps to diffuse the situation and just feeling heard can be helpful. This can be over the phone, face-to-face, via text or online. It can be to friends, family, professionals or someone at a helpline. The important part is the communication not the medium.
Challenging thoughts: This is one of the coping mechanisms I use most frequently. If you could climb inside my head I would probably seem crazy but self-talk helps immensely.
Bargaining with myself: I haven’t heard this one used before but it is something I sometimes do. I tell myself I am allowed to do whatever maladaptive behaviour I am craving but there are conditions. Usually the conditions are time or task orientated, for example I can binge and purge but I have to clean the flat first or I can overdose but I have to wait until the morning. Often I have calmed down by that point but even if I haven’t I have at least delayed the behaviour.
Going for a walk: I’m not really the outdoorsy type but sometimes a walk can be a positive distraction or a way to engage with the world.
Not leaving the house: Conversely, sometimes not leaving the house is positive. If I know I am on the verge of buying binge food or things to harm myself then staying in the house can remove the means to act on my urges.
-Be kind to yourself: I struggle with this one because I don’t really see what the point is or why I deserve to be kind to myself but even basic self care is a step in the right direction (e.g. washing your hair) and I find buying myself books from charity shops or watching a favourite TV show are ways to be kind to myself without having to justify spending a lot of money or dealing with body image. Being mentally kind to yourself is important too.
Focusing on the reasons why you don’t want to engage in self-damaging behaviours: I remind myself how bad my life was when I was drinking, how much I have to lose if I fall back into severe self-destruction and how much better my life is now I use more positive coping strategies.
Prevention is better than cure: Usually there are warning signs things are becoming difficult. By paying attention to changes in mood, sleep, diet, socialising and external risk factors such as stress at work or relationship issues it can be possible to take steps towards dealing with the issues before you find you are engaging in negative coping mechanisms.
Tea!: A cup of tea doesn’t quite solve everything but with a cup in hand my odds are greatly improved.

Hi Fantasia, I've been at the point you mention more than once, including a couple of months ago.

I've never cut myself but I know what it feels like to need to SH.

I would recommend the Samaritans - you can contact them by telephone or email and they always reply.

I don't think your post was terrible; in fact I think a lot of people will relate to it. I really hope your situation turns around and although I've only just joined up here I get the feeling there will be lots of support available even on these forums.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, I've been there myself & can understand the feeling of needing to self harm, I got bereavement counselling through Mind & had a fantastic counsellor who also taught me relaxation techniques & self hypnosis, I wasn't even referred through my doctor I just rang them one day explained what I was doing & how I was feeling & they saw me within the week. I think they're absolutely amazing, so amazing I am now doing my degree in counselling & hope to one day work for them!
Even when you feel hopeless & like nothing will ever get better please just reach out because there will be loads of people here & in real life who will support you. Please don't ever sit & feel like no one understands or cares because people do. I would definitely recommend mind, sending you a big hug, Julie xxx

Thank you all, i did try Cruse they were not very helpful hence why its been building up like this. Ive just messaged samaritans though so lets see where this takes me!

I am glad that i got the support i thought i was going to get from here i was so worried that i would in fact get the opposite.

Thank you.

As for the wounds all but one are no closed. The other keeps opening back up again at the slighest touch or knock and its getting so hard because of that to keep it hidden ( Most people in my 'real life' do not know i SH) I feel so stupid for doing it and then cut again because im so mad at myself and its like that over and over.

For the ones that are open definitely get steri strips they hold the skin in place and prevents infection. I hope the Samaritans are more helpful :)

I have been there FF but I use to stab rather than cut, so I didn't need steri strips. I didn't get professional help at the time, I used . . . . Alternative coping mechanisms, which I can't detail as they are not legal. Definately seek help its a big step accepting you have a problem, it's even harder to tell someone.

You will get there, you will.

This is personal and you don't need to answere me, do you use the same implement each time? I use to and I actually hid it by sinking it into wet concrete. Gone never to harm me again! If you would replace the item this will not work. It just helped me. As you know I'm one for practical solution.

Dont feel judged and don't feel alone, we are here.

P.S. Great advice from Friday 13

NatandTom can i use super glue to glue it together? When i had a wound like this before they used a glue at the hosp that looked like super glue.Can i use steri strips now? I thought they had to be put on in the first few hours.

FL- It depends. i ALWAYS use the same sort of thing but i would happily just replace it and not care. The only thing that has worked before is someone i love finding it and taking it....then begging me not to get more. That works for a about a month.

I also get the alt coping which i also cant mention but meh...


fantasia fairy wrote:

NatandTom can i use super glue to glue it together? When i had a wound like this before they used a glue at the hosp that looked like super glue.Can i use steri strips now? I thought they had to be put on in the first few hours.

Get Germolene, Nexcare or New-Skin "glue" or spray, it is more suitable for your skin than normal superglue.

I wish I could say something to help but I used all the wrong methods to control mine, I used to burn so can't help with the open wounds, I'd use superglue, it was invented for battle wounds but my advice probably isn't the best.

The only thing I found to be constructive was boxing, excersise releases endorphins so naturally helps, but with it being a contact sport it really helps release frustrations and anxiety, it also really builds confidence when you get stronger.

just keep going, that's all there is to it, it won't last forever, just keep reminding yourself, no matter what is happening (really helps with a boxing match) it will not last forever, the bell will ring, the clock will stop and you will catch your breath

The glue they use in hospitals is slightly different to superglue (antibacterial for starters). It is not recommended to use superglue on wounds unless it is an emergency and there is no alternative (e.g. In the middle of nowhere with no access to medical resources). Wounds need to be stitched within hours. I don't know about steistrips but I imagine the advice is likely to be the same since the reasoning is based on risk of infection and the chance of an open wound being contaminated by bacteria increases as time goes on. My (non medical advice) would be to keep the wounds clean and covered. If you aren't sure how to clean them properly and don't want to ask your GP, you could ask a pharmacist for advice. If the wounds aren't healing well or there are signs of infection, please go to your GP or a walk in clinic. I used to ignore infected wounds all the time until one time the result was horrific. I honestly didn't know wound infection could be that bad or that it could have severe complications.

How are you doing today?

I struggle with sh alot. The only way i stop myself is saying to myself well he wont find me attractive with cuts i would be ugly to him amd he wont want to be nesr me. This is probably not the best way to think but all the advice given its all fantastic advice but you need to find the one that helps you the best and stick with that even if it is the strange and hard to explain reasons why.
I hope everything eases up soon xx

How are you today fantasia fairy? X

Hi all

This post just made me cry i cant believe how many people are checking in with me!

Well in the end i tried using steri strips but they were not strong enough to hold it together so i had to use strapping tape (Like what runners use to strap their knees) but for now it seems to be holding if i replace it twice a day.

I've been using (of all things) my horses' wound wash and it seems to be helping keep the infection at bay.

Today i am not too bad i guess ive been puking all day with mirgranes but then i get ill from them alot.Ive been crying alot and getting angry, im happier when im on my own but at the same time i feel more vunerable. If i am honest ive taking to emailing people on here etc... it keeps me going and gives me company. I also had a clearout at my barn and found so many rugs etc that my horse has never worn and does not need so i am hping to sell them and make cash to gift people on here....

I KNOW i dont have to do it at all, but i get so excited and happy from doing it. I mean its the whole getting a message on here saying you have made someone happy and that makes me happy. Im focusing on that and sorting at a surprise for my mum next year i want to take her away maybe to matla as she loves it there....

Im working on helping others...THAT is what makes me happy :)

How are you all

my dear I have been worried to the point of praying. Just know there is so much energy towards you from many of us on the forum that want to see good things come about for you.

Sorry to hear about your migraines, I've never suffered with them but my poor daughter get them terrible, it's not nice to watch so god knows how it actually feels :-( Pleased you've got the idea of the Malta trip to think about, it's always nice to have something to look forward to & I'm sure your mum would love it, nothing better than mum/daughter time....mines buggering off to Ibiza with her boyfriend & I'm definitely not invited so it's nice you're taking yours with you lol! I'm sure she's just scared I'm a better dancer than her & that's why I'm banned ;-) I know what you mean by wanting to be alone but feeling vulnerable, I feel like that a lot, luckily I have a great best friend who knows my moods & knows what I need just by looking at me, I lean on her a lot but she's always there & she's a diamond. I'm pleased you're feeling supported through everyone on here, I've looked for you every day since you posted the 1st message on Friday & have thought about you a lot, is right there's lots of good energy here & we're here when you need to talk, big hugs xxx

MissV thank you! And me too... i've actually been laying on the bathrom floor crying and praying for things to change. Thanks for understanding.

jr, They are pretty crappy, they make me faint and puke and all sorts. Yeah my mum has been good to me and i want to treat her i know she would love to get away for bit and shes disabled so it means she wont get a chance unless i am with her.

I have a couple of best friends i can rely on all the time. But it's hard to let them in and have the accept me for who i am etc, i know they do but it still scares me because normally i let people in and they leave. :(


fresh air? would that help a little... even cracking the window sometimes helps me if you dont feel up to going outside.