Middle age blues

You're welcome! 🙂

Blimey. I'll be 50 in a couple of months and I've started to feel old because my libido has dropped and my hair doesn't look great. I'm realising that this happens when I'm anxious. But none of us are old. I chat regularly to a 92 year old on the phone - he wants to talk about politics. My book group has at least 3 women in their 90s, all with pin sharp minds. I think the key is to relax and step back from life - some things change and some things never do, even though I know we are living in extraordinary times. But keeping interested, and involved with others, some self-investment, tuning into loved ones - it all goes a long way in terms of general health as well as sexual health.

Gotta love this thread ! I try and teach my much younger neighbors by example in how to live life . I am the most fit and active male in our neighborhood . So many of the younger guys do non physical jobs and then have no outdoor hobbies of any kind . I worry some of the younger ones will not live until thier kids graduate school . I have noticed my current and former neighbors that ride motorcycles , generally are much more fit and have less stress . My good riding buddy and I were out last summer and pulled into a gas station and there were several fellows about our age standing there . We ride adventure bikes and I imagine the fellows were guessing we were young guys . When we took off our helmets they seemed shocked . I am white haired and my friend is bald . They looked confused and I said "Our rocking chairs are in. the shop , so we had to go for a ride ". In my imagination , everybody in this thread got together for a party . That would be fun .

Love this post 💖

I'm a very young 48, I am finding women more attractive then ever before, just not so much the under 30's except for Married Girl of course..........go figure that one 😊.

You have to take life day by day, live it to the full enjoy what you have and have fantasies about what you don't Married Girl again...........😂. Go figure again.

but seriously I am finding that as my hair greys the 6 pack morphs in to a 4 pack and my eyes are not as sharp as they used to be, my Mind is sharper than it ever has ever been, I see things in such a different way and in all honesty I am extremely positive about getting older.

keep your pecker up, a smile on your face and always look forwards, not back ;-) laugh your ass off don't take everything so seriously, as we get older life does not stop, it just needs to adjust to our wisdom......... @ Weeradge respect for the honesty god bless you too

Oldman is right too many younger people have sedentary jobs and their hobbies are sedentary too, not good. I have always had pretty physical jobs, and work hard, thinking of it as paid exercise. My hobbies are pretty sedentary so i work hard and chill to the max when not working, apart from dog walking and sex! 😉

This will make you laugh...i was at work yesterday chatting to a female workmate on our break, she asked me if I'd thought about retiring! I nearly choked on my hot chocolate and said, no as i'm only 56! 😂 I honestly don't think i look my age, apart from having silver hair! I have good wrinkle free skin on my face! Oh well, it just shows how other people perceive you!

Alicia, what is your crisis about? What is getting you down? We all age and have to accept that, as "Don`t it`s not all about getting" stated. My hair is grey, receeding and i have a bald patch, my midriff is growing, my muscles ache after a day`s work, i need reading glasses, but i am still pretty fit, healthy, my mind is sharp as is my sex drive. You have to balance the plus and minus points of aging. We can offer you advice and support, just don`t let it get you down!

Sorry to hear that Alicia, you certainly have had it bad. I can`t really offer anything other than we are very supportive here. Regarding finding love, have you tried sites for people with similar needs to yourself? I would think there are many out there in similar situations. Your workplace experiences are truly shocking too. Take heart from the fact you have friends here who will support you and can sound off too. Take care my friend.

@Alicia Normally I leave these kinds of replies to you as I am shit at them. 🙂 But it's you this time, so you've really shafted me on that. Thanks. 👍

I'm a hot mess, so I can't really give life advice, but I'm curious to know what you would say in reply to those posts if another member had written them?

Alicia, I am really sorry to hear that you’ve had such a bad time, I’m not very good at answering posts, but I really wish happy times will come through for you. Best wishes and take care.

and here I was feeling a bit down on myself in the last week as the Mrs had a bad week and was grouchy. I think a preverbial kick in the pants needed, really in the scheme of things, thats such small potatoes....

Alicia4Ever wrote:

I just keep adding to the list. With never anything of note to put on the other side of the scales, my heart just gets heavier and heavier. Then I start to feel like I'm just a waste of skin.

Some people have to have bad luck so others can have good luck. That's life.

What would need to happen that would sufficiently balance out that list? Winning the lottery? Curing cancer? Ending world hunger? 🙂 I think with that list you've created a monster that will never be satisfied. So how about you shred it, and don't start another? You're the only one that's keeping a tally so I don't think anyone will mind. 🙂

Most of your list is things that have happened to you, not things that you've done to other people. Don't judge yourself on the actions or reactions of dickheads. 👍

I really wish I had some solutions for you, the treatment you have been handed out by others is truly awful. The fact that you are still standing and trying is a true testament to who you are and your strength of character.

I have often seen you take time to try and help people here in the forum with very well thought out and considered advice, to do so when you are carrying such an incredible weight of your own is a truly compassionate thing to do and shows you are much more than a waste of skin.

I think you deserve an awful lot of kindness in your life, starting with kindness from yourself. There are many reasons we make bad life choices, often they are because of a position we find ourselves in that we did not create or that we can only view as a bad choice with hindsight. Please don't hold them against yourself.

The only other thing I can think of in regards to employment is whether you have a skill or talent you can use to do some work from home?

I really hope that life deals you a better hand going forwards.

Have you tried the supermarkets? I know they're not the most glamorous of jobs, but they still pay the bills. Mrs Chimp says Asda would snap you up. 👍🙂

My back up plan is selling crafts on etsy. 🙂 (it is possibly not the strongest of plans...)

Alicia, don't give up! I worked in the steel industry for 25 years intending to do that until retirement. But i was made redundant when the factory closed at Christmas 4 years ago. I saw an online application for a major supermarket and despite having no experience, passed the online test and got an interview and got the job starting in a brand new store. I work backstage and enjoy it, much more than the steel industry, so take heart, it IS possible to get a decent job at our age with limited experience and qualifications.

Sort of along the lines of Ian Chimps idea is there any way of using your furniture/upholstery skills to earn a little from home? I appreciate that the cost of speculative materials might be prohibitive, but lots of people buy bespoke furniture and I know I have paid to have some chairs upholstered several times. Or possibly pick up some bits from ebay /charity shops, upcycle and sell on? Just a thought as this would not need to interfere with your medical appointments.

Alicia4Ever wrote:

Ian, I looked into that too, I can do lots of crafts, but found the market flooded with retired people selling their stuff at a price designed to only recoup the cost of the materials. Not a strong plan to make money to live on, just enough to fund a hobby.

Even the hand-crafted sex toys? Though even if it was a hobby that's no bad thing. It'd give you something to take a bit of pride in. Small wins, and all that. 🙂

Alicia4Ever wrote:

Yeah Ian, I did make my own anal dido, but it was from wood. I know how to take care of it, but if someone damaged, or mistreated one I made, then got a splinter in their vagina or ass, then I would no doubt end up in court.

I don't think that's true. If I damage or mistreat any of my sex toys (glass dildos for instance) I couldn't take Lovehoney to court for any injury caused from continuing to use them after they're damaged. Or if I ignored the guidance and left a cockring on for 3 weeks I doubt I'd have any legal recourse if my dick subsequently fell off. 🙂

I don't think that's true either. 🙂 I'm sure you could come up with some info explaining good toy use and maintainence that you include with every purchase (some dilDos and dilDonts 🙂), and you could create a way to quality assess each toy so you're satisfied before it's dispatched (some kind of strength test based on normal expected pressure in use perhaps). And there's no need to find out the hard way, just do it the easy way and research it. Plenty of people sell them already, so they must have figured out a way. 🙂

But, obviously, it's completely up to you. I better let this thread get back on topic so I avoid a bollocking. 🙂