I enjoy sex with my bf, but lately ive been abit skint, so ive let him know that i need money and will accept money off him after sex, and the extras he wants will be treated for cash, i feel abit guilty but he pays up for anal etc. Am i in the wrong?
i wish someone would pay me to use my body for sex i would be rich carry on charging money for sex
Prostitution is fine, sex in relationships is fine, personally I can't see it ending well to mix the two. Sex in a relationship is meant to be about two (or more :P) people, if he's paying you then that means one of two things: Either you're not enjoying it as much as he is, you're providing a service, which means it's not a romantic relationship, it's a business one. Or, you are enjoying it just as much as him and you're charging as well which means it's unequal, you're exploiting him. Neither of these options are good ones.
I think he's going to feel alienated and possibly used. He may feel like he doesn't have to respect you any more (which is totally wrong, but a lot of men unfortunately think very badly of prostitutes even when they use our services) which isn't going to do your relationship any favours either.
If you want to have sex for money, do some research and consider becoming an escort, but making your boyfriend pay you is a good way to not have a boyfriend any more.
Very wise advice from Krys I would say.
It might be a bit of lucrative fun now, but it could go wrong before you have realised that your relationship has been redefined. :(
Agree with Krys and Noon its sounds like a bad idea and may well change the relationship in a way you dont want it to.
You either have sex with your bf because you want to or you have sex with a client for money but you cannot turn your bf into a client and keep him as a bf
xGGx
Definitely sounds like trouble to me.
The only way I see that this kind of thing would work, is if it was part of a bigger sex game, eg a sub-dom thing, or role play.
Not really sure what you expect us to say, but as your last thread was about your BF thinking you weren't thankful for the things he did for you sexually and you now say you charge him for extras, I think you have to address the issues within your relationship that seem to run quite deep?
As others have said, seems like you're storing up trouble.
Hope you sort it out?
Hadnt realised about the other thread but it puts a different perspective on the relationship.
To be brutally honest if your bf was on here posting that his gf didnt appear to be 'grateful' for sex and she was asking him for money afterwards I think I would be advising him to make a clean break.
There seem to be some major issues within your relationship and maybe you need to consider if it is right for you to continue it or if you are staying in it for the wrong reasons
Whatever you decide to do I think the two of you need to talk seriously and honestly about what you want and need from eachother.
wish you luck with it
xGGx
Thanks all for your comments. The reason i asked for money wasnt cos im a bitch but my tax credits were messed about and i was skint. We talked and he agreed it was to help me but maybe i shouldnt have told him to pay. Im no sex worker. We might have problems cos i see him every other night between his shifts and if i want to see him more, he says he needs to chill abit. He is a single dad with two girls at home. Is it me. He complains that when he working i dont bother him but when he off i complain i should be with him more.
Everyone needs some space in a relationship, you don't want to smother him.
Respect that he needs his own time to chill and then it will be more fun when you are together because he won't be as uptight.
I can only echo what others have said really but I cannot imagine asking for money from my BF in return for sex.
I'd ask if I could borrow some money if I was short but I wouldn't ask for it in return for anything!
I think Krys, GG and MTC make good points.
In terms of space, if he's busy working with 2 children at home he's going to be busy - perhaps spend some quality time together without the sex. Sitting on the sofa watching a film together would be a nice way to spend some time but not necessarily become overly sexual. I think you're gettig mixed signals from each other because of the position you've put each other in.
Good luck in sorting it
Angel x
First i complain cos he says im never grateful if he gives me lots of orgasms and then i complain cos i ask for money if i do stuff for him. He is considerate for me in bed but i want money for making him orgasm. its me it has to be. We all want to chill but when hes working i leave him be but when hes off work he should spend time with me. I feel he only wants me to shoot his stuff with, and i need him to get off with but is he using me. Have we a future or should i go on without him.0
First i complain cos he says im never grateful if he gives me lots of orgasms and then i complain cos i ask for money if i do stuff for him. He is considerate for me in bed but i want money for making him orgasm. its me it has to be. We all want to chill but when hes working i leave him be but when hes off work he should spend time with me. I feel he only wants me to shoot his stuff with, and i need him to get off with but is he using me. Have we a future or should i go on without him. Is it me then....
I'm hoping this doesn't come across in the wrong way and that I've understood what you've said -
He is considerate for me in bed but i want money for making him orgasm -
Why on earth do you expect money from him in order to make him orgasm? Am I misinterpreting what you mean?
I feel he only wants me to shoot his stuff with, and i need him to get off with but is he using me
You've answered your own question - you're using each other. You feel used but he's paying you to be used.
I'm sorry but unless you two sit down you're never going to get this sorted.
He gives you what you want in the bedroom but you expect to be paid for giving him what he want's in the bedroom? That is not a two-way relationship.
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but it is how I'm interpreting what you're saying.
Only you two can decide if its worth it but my personal suggestion would be to stop with the exchange of money straight away and pleasure each other because you want to, not because you get paid to or feel you have to.
Angel
I dont want to charge but need to for my bills. I love giving head to him and receiving oral like any women and anything else i enjoy and he is good. But i have bills to pay. I dont ask all the time, just once a week. I do think he is becoming abit distant cos he is tending to say wateva to me more than he used to , when i try to mention he not attentive to me. Is it me?
If you need to pay your bills, I suggest you either get a job (if you dont have one) - I know, its harder these days, or try to cut your spending down as much as you can to bare minimums until your situation gets better. Or you can ask your partner for occassional help, if you really really struggle (I would hate to do it, but it is far better than having him pay you for sex!). Or you can become a prostitute, but keep that out of your relationship with you. I know I may sound harsh, but if my partner would ask for money for sex, I would personally dump him on the spot.
can you just not ask for money you dont have to offer a sex act for it, it sounds like your trying to get reassurance from us that what your doing is okay. personnaly i dontthink it is, but if you need help you need help
This is like something from the Jeremy Kyle show. I'm sorry to sound harsh but for gods sake, you ask your man to pay for sex then wonder why he's acting distant? No matter what your situation is money-wise, there is always a way to make money without selling your body for sex, which is what you're doing. Like Laveila above said, cut down your spending. Sell something you don't need anymore. Asking your boyfriend to hand cash over after coming is a cold thing to do and would make the entire thing, for me at least, feel like some no strings attached transaction. That's not a normal situation. I'm not surprised how he's reacting at all. He could find someone else who loves him and doesn't charge and maybe that's what he's thinking.
sexilegs wrote:
I dont want to charge but need to for my bills. I love giving head to him and receiving oral like any women and anything else i enjoy and he is good. But i have bills to pay. I dont ask all the time, just once a week. I do think he is becoming abit distant cos he is tending to say wateva to me more than he used to , when i try to mention he not attentive to me. Is it me?
Just once a week, really? and you wonder why he is becoming distant? Why would he not? If he wanted to pay for sex, he'd probably use a hassle free escort or prostitute?
We all have money worries, and have bills to pay, and yet we use other methods to survive. I think you need to sit down with yourself and think about how an earth this guy must feel, reverse the roles and imagine how you would feel if he was charging you to cum..... I doubt you'd hang around....
So surely the fact that this guy has hung around for this to happen more than once, must mean he likes you despite this, so perhaps you need to focus on that and making the relationship work, even if it means eating beans on toast every night....
I don't understand though why you would link the money to the sex side of things either, unless you were exploiting him. Why not just say to him sometime in normal conversation, without relating it to having sex, "listen, i'm a little hard-up this week, could you help me out?" I think the guy would feel better that he was helping you and would feel he was contributing something, rather than being taken advantage of by something that most people are weak for.