My libido comes and goes

Does anyone elses libido come and go? Like I can have several dry months where I have zero sexual desire to like now where its all I can think about lol. Im not on any medication, not on any contraception etc, I'm in my 30s so just wondering if its an age thing? Also lately I have been sent a secret squirell tester and it has blown me away lol, I had some action this weekend too after several months of nothing and I suppose that has kicked my vagina back into life? lol. TIA ๐Ÿผ

Yes. I think a lot of things can affect your sex drive. I know mine took a nose dive when I got my contraceptive implant. My teens and 20s were pretty lacking in the sex department and it's upsetting that those years are gone now.

However, it came back with a vengeance when I was about 27. It felt like a dormant volcano had erupted, lol. Let's just say some kinks were realised and I found out what worked for me. Now my sex drive is pretty consistent and I have sex/masturbate regulary.

It's going to be interesting when I get my implant removed next month. I may just unleash a beast, lol.

Yes, it can come and go. I think in a long term relationship things often wax and wane, and it can be a case of 'use it or lose it', and of trying new things to keep that spark.

But I think what you are talking about is something a bit different. Women react differently to hormone fluctuations and some women can react quite strongly and in unexpected ways, be that monthly or as they approach peri-menopause. Also our bodies and minds have a sort of conditioned response to external stimulation of all kinds, so the more you get used to feeling desire, the more you will respond.

You mention your age so that might be in the mix. You also said that being a 'secret squirrel' tester sparked things off. So, experimenting and being mindful of changing hormones are maybe something many women need to keep in mind.

My own experience: in my late 30s I had my bloods tested as we wanted another baby but I had been very ill the previous year. The test showed that hormonally I was nearly menopausal at 38. (We still conceived very quicky, luckily). I had my last period at 42. For about 4-5 years from about age 40 onwards I lost all interest in sex. I didn't even think about it as I went about my day. That whole sense of 'desire' disappeared. So much so that I didn't even miss it. I did have a sense of loss, tho.

And suddenly it came back. No rhyme or reason to it, just a little trigger: I saw an actor in a film and found myself thinking, 'he's nice - what else has he been in?'. And I realised I was interested again. My OH is relieved! He was very understanding during my fallow period and now we are making up for lost time. We reclaimed our sex life and I bought a few bits and pieces from Lovehoney (I now have the world's biggest collection) and later joined this forum, all of which fuels this dimension to our lives. I'll be 49 soon and I'm not at all thinking of retiring with a cup of cocoa any time soon!

So, sorry for the long reply. Things can wax and wane, naturally, so see if you can find some triggers and enjoy yourself, alone or with someone else, when desire kicks in.

They say use it or lose it. Now that youโ€™re back in the saddle keep it going. Toys are a great way to keep things sexy. ๐Ÿ˜‚