Need Some serious advice

Hiya its my first time on here so go easy on me.

Right i've been with my partner for 13 years now and our relationship is 80% based on sex, my problem is that whenever my partner goes down on me i get to a point when it feels so good i can't let him carry on, i just clinche my legs together and can't go on, so then we just end up having sex after that.

I really wanna carry on and he is getting quite upset and does'nt understand, hey i don't understand !

I have tried to relax and carry on but its just soooooo good, and can't help but to close my legs !!!!

I really do love him and want to go on.

Wot shall i do?

HELP

Welcome to the OA Nikki!

Have you told your partner the reason you close your legs and can't let him carry on? Have you been able to orgasm through oral stimulation in the past with other partners? It may be you have an extra sensitive clit and oral stimulation is too much for you.

I know when my OH goes down on me and gives me an orgasm i'm way too sensitive to be touched afterwards. But if this is happening before you've climaxed maybe you could get him to use his fingers instead for a while, then go back to his tongue, and alternate it like that?

As a last resort, try a bit of bondage - then you can't close your legs even if you wanted to! lol

There are much more experienced people on here who will be able to help you more than I can, but those are my thoughts xx

sexynurse09 wrote:

Welcome to the OA Nikki!

Have you told your partner the reason you close your legs and can't let him carry on? Have you been able to orgasm through oral stimulation in the past with other partners? It may be you have an extra sensitive clit and oral stimulation is too much for you.

I know when my OH goes down on me and gives me an orgasm i'm way too sensitive to be touched afterwards. But if this is happening before you've climaxed maybe you could get him to use his fingers instead for a while, then go back to his tongue, and alternate it like that?

As a last resort, try a bit of bondage - then you can't close your legs even if you wanted to! lol

There are much more experienced people on here who will be able to help you more than I can, but those are my thoughts xx

Why wont it let me post, hopefully it will let me post this

If you mean you orgasm and then can't carry on being stimulated, that's perfectly normal, I'm the same, far too sensitive once I've had an orgasm clitorally. Has it always been this way with you?

It is also entirely possible to be over stimulated and then the orgasm just doesn't quite happen , it does feel very frustrating but by stressing over it you're possibly making it worse and by him keeping going you'll probably just end up annoyed and a bit sore if it's not happening.

Our bodies also change as we age too, I could always guarantee to orgasm from oral but now it's more like 50/50, it doesn't matter, still feels fantastic, I've also started having g-spot orgasms which never happened when I was younger - I'm 43 now btw. Why not try other methods of stimulation, getting upset isn't helpful for either of you.

Thanks sexy nurse

I have told him but he thinks i should be able to just carry on, and its not that i don't want to as i love the feeling but it just seems to be impulse that i close my legs.

I have had orgasms before but only when he touches me, and having been a bit tipsy !!

Although the same thing happens when he touches me too so my I am a bit sensitive there.

He is just such an unselfish and fantastic lover and loves to do alsorts to me, i don't wanna feel like i'm letting him down.

I will try the fingers instead for a while approach but doubt it will work as he makes me feel that way everytime he touches or licks me!

Bondage- maybe though never done it before, its needs more thinking about. I think it scares me to death thinking that i won't be able to control anything that might happen, but will consider it.

Thanks again sexy nurse

spankmebaby wrote:

If you mean you orgasm and then can't carry on being stimulated, that's perfectly normal, I'm the same, far too sensitive once I've had an orgasm clitorally. Has it always been this way with you?

Oh yes, that's perfectly normal, if you mean you've already orgasmed? Same with me, i'm just a panting sweating heap on the bed, can't even touch my nipples! x

~nikki~ wrote:

Bondage- maybe though never done it before, its needs more thinking about. I think it scares me to death thinking that i won't be able to control anything that might happen, but will consider it.

Thanks again sexy nurse

That bit was a joke, but you can try it if you like! xx

thanks spankmebaby

You have made things a little clearer as i have had more intense feelings now i'm older at 27 yrs.

i still wanna be able to just let this happen it does feel like i am on the brink of orgasm while he is licking me, but still the impulse to close my legs is always there. as it is soo good i just can't let him carry on.

It sounds like you might be concentrating too hard on "acheiving", It's taken me years to be able to relax into an orgasm and not tense up my pelvic area and leg muscles. If you can only orgasm when you've had a drink then it could well be that you're not relaxing enough and focussing all your concentration on that one bit of you, does he use his fingers in you when licking you at all? That can be a great trigger and it usually works for me as it's more than one overwhelming sensation, or he could play with your nipples etc. Anything to distract you away from that one area really. You could also try tensing and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles to take your mind off the feeling.

I'd also have a break from oral for a while too, take the pressure off.

~nikki~ wrote:


Bondage- maybe though never done it before, its needs more thinking about. I think it scares me to death thinking that i won't be able to control anything that might happen, but will consider it.

I think that fear has more to do with things than you think!

Sounds like you're just afraid to let go and lose control of your body, and the fact that you can orgasm when you're drunk support this - your inhibitions are lowered. Can you orgasm on your own when you masturbate?

i sometimes get this aswell, were i have an orgasm and im a bit to sensitve but it stills feels really good being touched and i want him to stop but then i dont really. its quite hard to explaine really but i find that if i clear my mind and make myself relax i can take it and then keep getting more orgasm each one getting more and more stronger untill i really really cant take it anymore.

i def think you should give the bondage idea a try, let yourself relax and try not to be incontrol another thing i would says if its getting to much add lube as it for me it seems to soften the touch.

hope that helps

Dxx

Just a few ideas I've been pondering over:

1) Could you try a different position ...

- you kneeling astride his face so you've got more control.

- you lying on your back with you legs straight and together. Get him to just part your lips slightly and focus on licking/sucking your clit

- you on all fours on the edge of the bed. Access to your clit might be tricky but not impossible and he can merrily lick away at your labia.

2) Rather than full "chains & ropes" type bondage could you just ask your OH to hold your legs apart? If I'm going to squirt my instict is to fight it and try and close my legs or wriggle away but my partner has a firm hand and just holds me still..I get off on the control aspect of this as well as the continued physical stimulation!

xxKPxx

KittyPurry wrote:

Just a few ideas I've been pondering over:

1) Could you try a different position ...

- you kneeling astride his face so you've got more control.

- you lying on your back with you legs straight and together. Get him to just part your lips slightly and focus on licking/sucking your clit

- you on all fours on the edge of the bed. Access to your clit might be tricky but not impossible and he can merrily lick away at your labia.

2) Rather than full "chains & ropes" type bondage could you just ask your OH to hold your legs apart? If I'm going to squirt my instict is to fight it and try and close my legs or wriggle away but my partner has a firm hand and just holds me still..I get off on the control aspect of this as well as the continued physical stimulation!

xxKPxx

Althought I try not to I agree wholeheartedly with KP

SmoothOne wrote:

Althought I try not to I agree wholeheartedly with KP

How rude! you did agree with me though so I'll refrain from punishment...this once

xxKPxx

It might help not to concentrate on it so much - I know thats easier said than done, but if you are worrying or thinking about it you will almost talk yourself into doing it subconsciously!

x

~nikki~ wrote:

Hiya its my first time on here so go easy on me. [...] my problem is that whenever my partner goes down on me i get to a point when it feels so good i can't let him carry on, i just clinche my legs together and can't go on, so then we just end up having sex after that.

I really wanna carry on and he is getting quite upset and does'nt understand, hey i don't understand !

I have tried to relax and carry on but its just soooooo good, and can't help but to close my legs !!!!

I really do love him and want to go on.

Wot shall i do?

HELP

Does this sound like what's going on with you?

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/orgasm-army/sex-talk/73094-straight-leg-orgasms-anyone/

Thank you to everyone for the advice and support.

I will be trying some of these idea's.

I'm so happy i found this site so i can actually feel comfortable talking about this so openly.

Thanks again

xx