I think sex toys can help aid the process of getting to know your body and what you prefer. There are some people that don't like the vibrations but that's why there are variations and also the shapes help with stimulation. I don't think there really needs to be a specific order in how to learn more about your preferences.
I think that's why the great value basic range can really come to play wonderfully. They are perfect for experimentation on a budget and gives an idea of what you do and don't like without regretting the purchase.
With toys I pushed my original boundaries with my partner and tried out various other ways of incorporating it with our time together. It really made a big difference especially knowing that we had the mutual feeling of wanting to pleasure eachother by trying new things.
Oh, I do agree that there isn't a quick fix for an orgasm but we can always have fun trying to get there. =]