Help.
I am 34 and have never had an orgasm, I have tried everything from different positions rubs, oral sex and anal although had to stop this as it was sore.
All tips welcome
Best advice- stop worrying about orgasming and just enjoy the ride (literally?)
Hi, I think you'll find some other threads that give really good advice including:
Every woman is different. I think you should take some time out alone and work through what you do like and how you prefer to be touched etc. I think LH is an excellent way to boost your sex life and hopefully achieve a wonderful orgasm; be it through toys, lube, lingerie and even self help books.
I was going to advise this book- http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=9581 on sale.. but it already sold out. >.<
I also agree with cNr about not worring or stressing over it. The important thing is to enjoy yourself.
xXx
Hi
relaxing is the key but maybe a little self discovery to....I had my first by literally exploring my self and have never looked back...
All best hun x
Relaxing is super important to achieving an orgasm in my opinion.
You also didn't mention that you have used toys, I assume you have but if you haven't that would be my tip!
I'd pretty much second what the other have said.
I hadn't had one until recently (well I *think* I've had one, just a little one) but it was only because I bought some toys and explored myself. You haven't given any details as to whether or not you have a partner (not that it matters) but either way, if you don't know what you like, nor will your partner.
For me, I discovered that whilst I know where my g-spot is and I can feel it during penetration, it just doesn't seem to do much for me whereas clitoral stimulation does.
I haven't had an orgasm on my own - my OH gave it to me but only because I was able to point him the right direction. I tend to stop myself from having one because I give in the great feelings - almost like I can't stand it anymore - so I stop!
When you have the house to yourself, get some toys or things you think you might enjoy and just explore. Go bit by bit, find out what you like and what you don't. Don't expect to achieve anything the first time round, just see what happens and eventually as you find out what you like, you can build on it and go for the orgasm.
Hope that helps x
This is just my technique...it might not work for you, but it's the best I have.....stop trying for an orgasm. Forget about it completely and focus on what makes you feel amazing, then do lots of it. Sometimes I go through dry patches when I cannot orgasm at all, so I just don't worry about it and instead concentrate on making myself feel incredible...and by that I mean hot bubble baths, champagne, candles and massages, as well as sex. I tend to find that I have the best orgasms when I'm fully in the moment and don't give a damn if I do or don't. If I'm hoping for one, quite often it kills it off entirely. And anyway, I do enjoy sex and play without orgasming too, it feels great :) So yeah, relax, pamper yourself and stop worrying about it. I bet the second you forget about orgasming you'll have the biggest one of your life, and if you don't, it doesn't matter.
To be brutally honest, the orgasm is overhyped. It is good, but frankly sometimes I end up oversensitised and uncomfortable and have to sleep on a towel. There are evenings when I feel much more in the mood for just playing around with different sensations rather than hammering myself til I'm sore!
Have fun and take care of yourself, Lxx
Lou232 wrote:
This is just my technique...it might not work for you, but it's the best I have.....stop trying for an orgasm. Forget about it completely and focus on what makes you feel amazing, then do lots of it. Sometimes I go through dry patches when I cannot orgasm at all, so I just don't worry about it and instead concentrate on making myself feel incredible...and by that I mean hot bubble baths, champagne, candles and massages, as well as sex. I tend to find that I have the best orgasms when I'm fully in the moment and don't give a damn if I do or don't. If I'm hoping for one, quite often it kills it off entirely. And anyway, I do enjoy sex and play without orgasming too, it feels great :) So yeah, relax, pamper yourself and stop worrying about it. I bet the second you forget about orgasming you'll have the biggest one of your life, and if you don't, it doesn't matter.
To be brutally honest, the orgasm is overhyped. It is good, but frankly sometimes I end up oversensitised and uncomfortable and have to sleep on a towel. There are evenings when I feel much more in the mood for just playing around with different sensations rather than hammering myself til I'm sore!
Have fun and take care of yourself, Lxx
This is excellent advice!
It makes me sad when girls get so stressed out about not orgasming! It's not the be all and end all - the important bit is enjoyment and satisfaction!
Personally, I don't find coming that pleasurable a lot of the time and I definitely don't orgasm every time we have sex and that's perfectly "normal" for me!
Don't stress about it, relax, take the pressure off yourself and just enjoy yourself!
Adx
Also, since it sounds like you're trying a lot with your partner, might be easier if you tried to have more "alone time". In an ideal world, he'd be with you for your first, but with the pressure that's usually on men to make sure their partner comes, there's probably a part of you that feels like you're letting him down by not getting there. On your own, you can take your time, play about and experiment with what feels nicer, and get to know your own body better. When there's no pressure to come before he gets tired/bored/disillusioned, it's much easier to relax. Hey, if you feel super confident, you could even film it: I'm sure he'd love to watch you playing with yourself, and if you do have an orgasm, he'd love to see it (and see how you managed to get there so he can reproduce it). And that way, if it doesn't work, you can just erase the video, so there's no need to get there his time.
And really, as others said, don't worry so much about it when it doesn't happen. As long as you're enjoying the process, it's all good, so just go with what feels good and try not to think about it. Chances are, if it's going to happen it'll happen accidentally. and if it doesn't, well, it's not as great as it's hyped (it is good, but not the be all and end all).
BashfulBabe wrote:
Also, since it sounds like you're trying a lot with your partner, might be easier if you tried to have more "alone time". In an ideal world, he'd be with you for your first, but with the pressure that's usually on men to make sure their partner comes, there's probably a part of you that feels like you're letting him down by not getting there. On your own, you can take your time, play about and experiment with what feels nicer, and get to know your own body better. When there's no pressure to come before he gets tired/bored/disillusioned, it's much easier to relax. Hey, if you feel super confident, you could even film it: I'm sure he'd love to watch you playing with yourself, and if you do have an orgasm, he'd love to see it (and see how you managed to get there so he can reproduce it). And that way, if it doesn't work, you can just erase the video, so there's no need to get there his time.
Good advice - just to add though - in the long term, teach him that it's ok if you don't come more often than not, it'll help take the pressure off you so you can just lay back and enjoy without having to stress about climaxing - sometimes the female body just decides "no, not happening" and noone is to blame :)
Adx