Never had an orgasm

Hi, hoping someone can help? As the title suggests i have never had an orgasum. i have great sex with my boyfriend and i alway enjoy it, while he never fails to cum I'm often left wondering..

I some times feel like I could come close to it when he fingers me but I'm pretty sure I never have, I would know If I had, right?

I have suggested sex toys but although my boyfriend hasn't said no I think he thinks it should be his duty and if I use toys he's not done his job properly. So I have bought a few vibrators on here and as I'm new to this I thought I would try the Tracey Cox range as she seems to know what shes on about. I bought a pleasure vibe and a bullet vibe and experemented on my own but still on outcome.. its my boyfriend birthday coming up and have bought some lovely underwear I just want to have the best night of our lives! I just really really want to be able to cum! Can anyone help, give some advise, has anyone else had this problem?


I think the most important thing for you to do is for you to find out how to please yourself. Have a nice relaxing bath, get yourself comfortable and in the mood and just explore your body but dont think about having a orgasm. If you put yourself under pressure you will never have one. You will find out what pleases you and what turns you on and eventually, what makes you cum. When you've worked it all out you can share this with your OH by gently guiding his hand/fingers etc or by repositioning your body. Your OH will only know how to pleasure you of you show him how.

Good luck Hun and happy exploring. Let us know how you get on. X

I agree with Wetone. The best way to reach an orgasm is by discovering your body. At the end of the day- everyone is unique and different. I personally love the combination of a dildo with ridges and a powerful bullet or egg for clitoral stimulation.

Also, try not to put too much stress on the sole purpose of climaxing/having an orgasm. It should be about the intimacy and enjoying it.

How about investing in a couples kit to use together? Something like this:-

Guys can be quite possessive about being the ones to satisfy their partners but sex toys just increases the pleasure they give, sort of like lubrication. I'd also suggest the use of an orgasm booster- there's a free offer of one from the Lovehoney Facebook page. =)

Ps. don't worry too much about not being able to orgasm- it's not as uncommon as you might think but with the aid of new techniques and sex toys it can be easier to find more pleasure.

Here's some articles to help:-

Thank you for the advice, i think I'm putting to much pressure on myself becuase I want my boyfriend to know I'm satisfied. I will let you know how I get on i do enjoy sex I'm just hoping that one day it will happen! xxx

If you are putting too much pressure on yourself then that may be the cause

rhianxo wrote:

Thank you for the advice, i think I'm putting to much pressure on myself becuase I want my boyfriend to know I'm satisfied. I will let you know how I get on i do enjoy sex I'm just hoping that one day it will happen! xxx

good luck, and relax and enjoy it



I used to get put off cuz I felt like I was going to pee. One day I had a glass of wine and just decided to go with it and see what happened. I put a towel down first because I didn't want the idea of a big mess holding me back. Anyway I fought against ignoring the urge to pee and forced myself to relax and ended up having my first orgasm with the help of a vibe.

I've still never orgasmed with my partner but I can do it alone now. It is frustrating but I was getting closer each time we tried, until he went off sex.

Relax and teach yourself first. Don't get hung up on it. Then teach your man how you like it.

I have exactly the same problem. I can climax on my own no problem... within about 30 seconds!

BUT... I can only do it in one position and I never even come close during foreplay and sex!

I have kind of just accepted it now, sex still feels amazing... but I don't get hung up on climaxing. If it happens it happens.

I also have never had a vaginal orgasm! Only clitoral... some of us are lucky and some of us aren't.

I have tried everything but to be honest I don't have the patience for it and I have got into a sort of 'routine' with masturbation which I sense may be the problem in my sex life. I have tried not masturbating for a while but to no avail.

Oh well! It's always fun to try...!

relaxing may help more than you think, if you are worrying about having "the big O" all the time then youll be putting yourself under pressure and it wont happen xx

i have had a few partners in the past and i never had an orgasm,a lot of it for me was i was afraid to let go totaly,my husband is the only one who has made me orgasm hence why i married him (jk) sometimes its not as easy as just a man,toys are a brilliant way for you to explore your own body and a good way to let go,everyone is different,i thought there was something wrong with me :-O if he`s not into toys then just experiment yourself x