Non sexual turn ons

Hi guys,

i know now this is a sex tips forum, but I just wondered what were your biggest turn ons of a non sexual nature? My wife and I have not had sex for a bit and I am planning to have a lovely relaxing time on Friday night and see where the night leads us. I was just wondering what you guys liked that got you ready for sex, but perhaps not in an overtly sexual way. The old adage of wine and chocolates spring to mind, but I want to create a whole evening of delight that will be really special and that may or may not lead to sex (obviously any sexual turn one and advice will be more than welcomed!) thanks in advance

Sharing a bath? Or run her a bath? Massage!

An evening of pampering springs to mind, made clear that it is for pampering only and not to lead to something else. Offer to butter her legs, massage her feet, have some tealights lit, and give her a glass of chilled wine to sip while you do it.

She may pounce on you at the end of the evening, or she may be so relaxed she just goes to sleep content. But either way, knowing that you want to pamper her without the expectation of it leading to sex will be enough that she'll probably leap on you the next time she's not so tired :)

Pizza
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We enjoy chatting over a pub lunch or dinner , We dress smart casual for each other and enjoy our date nights .Sometimes a game of footsie ensues thats when I know for sure that she is in the mood. Dress to impress your partner.

Plenty of good advice here, but my first thought i have you explored why you havent had sex in a while, as if that has not been resolved i imagine that anything you do to set the mood may be unlikely to work?

That said I think a very nice dinner (her favorite restaurant perhaps), or if you are a good cook go all out and make her a classy meal yourself, with some good wine and dessert.

We have just moved our 2 year old out of her cot and into a toddler bed and she is taking great delight in coming into our bedroom several times a night! Nothing wrong with my wife and mine relationship, just very very tired and aware that she could come in at any point!

I know your pain ajmellu7. Our kids are a little older now but i have had a similar issues in the past.

Do you have a tame family member to take toddler for a sleepover or to allow you and your wife a night away in a hotel. For my wife and I that was sometimes the easiest way of getting some uninteruppted time.

Ajmellu7 I remember that stage well! Trying to have a sex life but always having the fear the little thumpy feet would be heard coming out of their room. We had a baby gate over their door for a while but they soon learned to climb it so ended up being a hazard.

Once a week we would pick a day to have a date night. The kids would go to bed and would take turns in organising something. The most memorable ones were the simplest ones. My favourite was the floor picnic, my husband got sushi, fruit cider and chocolate fondue on a blanket on the floor, candles lit the room. It was just lovely. Once I ordered us 2 massive pizzas, big bottles of coke and we played the xbox in our underwear. Doing something every week like that would get us in the mood, even if we didn't think we were date night always ended up being sex night! Our only rule was NO PHONES.

I love the playing on the Xbox in your underwear and the carpet picnic! Such brilliant ideas. I had thought of cocktails and strawberries with chocolate to dip in! Just want to do something nice for me wife

Sum Sub wrote:

Pizza
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Here here!

Sum Sub wrote:

Pizza
🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍧

Can't go wrong with a piping hot pizza. Yuuum.

As for suggestions, maybe have a relaxing candle lit dinner. I know it's a cliche but if you don't mind how it ends up (with or without the sex) then I'm sure she would love it. Bit of relaxing music, a massage to follow, foot rub or something maybe?

You could also be quite sneaky and subtle, find out some things she likes or wants to do maybe and sneak them all into her favourite night, for example snuggles on the couch with snacks and her favourite movie in pyjamas is one scenario I would enjoy. Or if you already know some of her favourite things try combine them all into one night.

Thanks guys. All great ideas. Just wanted to do something a little bit left field so to speak just to make her feel extra special for a bit with no expectations for anything. She is such a wonderful mum to our girls and wonderful wife, just want her to know in a different way!! Has to be at home as well due to the kids and no babysitters available as my family has just had a really difficult time as my mum has had a really bad accident and we have all been rallying round, another reason for being so tired and not being able to find time for sex!

Aw ajmellu7, sorry to hear about your mum, i hope she get well again soon. We have rarely had babysitters in our years of parenthood our families aren't close by, its always been a stay at home job. I hope whatever you decide to do that she loves it. I'm sure she will as even when my husband burned our meal I didn't care as I was so happy he had made the effort. I think it may have been his plan all along so he could get a curry delivered though!

ajmellu7 wrote:

Thanks guys. All great ideas. Just wanted to do something a little bit left field so to speak just to make her feel extra special for a bit with no expectations for anything. She is such a wonderful mum to our girls and wonderful wife, just want her to know in a different way!! Has to be at home as well due to the kids and no babysitters available as my family has just had a really difficult time as my mum has had a really bad accident and we have all been rallying round, another reason for being so tired and not being able to find time for sex!

If you want something really different and the kids out of the way then buy a pair of Butler shorts and serve and pamper your wife for the full evening. I am quite sure you will get a reward from her some part of the evening .

Old cemeterys with the old flat gravestones would love to have sex on one old hammer horror films come to mind

Bit of dancing makes me a bit horny.... the swaying and grinding of the hips and bum makes me feel all sexy

Well, I thought I would have a trial run at making a cocktail. Made a couple last night after the kids had gone to bed and washing up etc had been done. Seemed to work wonders as we relaxed immediately and ended up having a good couple of hours session! Just what we needed and a huge surprise for both of us! Still planning for tomorrow night though!!

Oh well, we fell asleep last night after we put the kids to bed! Will have to try again tonight!