Not last long enough!

Hi all,
So my and Mrs CC are recently married, went away for a little break and had a nice few sessions between the sheets. No we are back to normal life at home and work things have died down a bit now. Now to the real problem, I’ve noticed that I’m not lasting long enough now compared to when we were away, also as soon I’ve climaxed I’ve noticed I lose my erection and things just stop. This is now getting to the point where it’s both upsetting me and Mrs CC. I’m not at the point where I feel as if I’m not man enough to please her.
Help and advice is very much needed as things are now grinding to a halt and the honeymoon period is well and truly over.
Taken a lot of courage to be able to post this and I hope it’s not cause offence in anyway.

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Maybe try of some delay creams or a cock ring?

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So many reasons for this to be happening.

Age, health, work stress, kids, family stress, tiredness, time pressure. It is in no way a reflection on you as a man.

Talking about it will help, setting some time apart to focus on what turns you both on, and remember that the orgasm isn’t the goal…the journey can be worth enjoying as well

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@Curious_Couple_19 maybe the frequency of the action on honeymoon helped delay your orgasm?
Masterbation between sessions with Mrs C C maybe?
Regarding upsetting you both please talk about it. Mr John lasts ages, I worry Im not stimulating him enough. Sometimes its a no win situation :crazy_face:

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@Curious_Couple_19 Going to echo what others have said here and say that many factors can contribute to this, with some easier than others to deal with (i.e. you can try and manage stress but you can’t not get older).

I think the best thing you can do in this situation is talk with your wife and go over both of your expectations. There are many ways to give someone sexual pleasure, and if you’re currently in a rut regarding PIV, it is likely worth exploring the myriad other ways to get someone to feel good and get off.

Best case scenario, you’re just having a temporary blip in performance and have added some fun new activities to the bedroom repertoire. But if it’s something else that is more long-term in your ability to last as long as you used to, then these new tricks or approaches can keep the passion alive in spite of a shorter duration in PIV fun.

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This is generally seen as common. While there are gurus who will want to teach you how to experience multiple or dry orgasms to continue after a climax, your results on their methods will vary. It’s our biological imperative to cum as quickly as possible and then take a nap (joke). But seriously, depending on your age, health, stress, and other factors, your refractory period (the time it takes after an orgasm to be able to get hard again, whether or not you can orgasm again) can be anywhere from 10 minutes to a whole day.

You don’t indicate whether you were sexually active before honeymooning, but I’ve found after 15 years of marriage that I do have a different level of vigor and energy while on vacation or even if we’ve just sent the kids off to grandparents’ for the afternoon and have the house all to ourselves finally. The last time we got a full overnight away we managed to fit in 5 or 6 sessions in 24 hours, which is definitely not our average.

As to feeling like you don’t last long enough - I think most women (most partners, I suspect) would tell you there’s a lot more to being pleased than just a hard penis. Have you played with making sure she’s fully satisfied via other means before penetration? My favorite is going down on my wife and then entering right after/while she climaxes, then it doesn’t matter how long I last. I also love masturbating alongside while she uses a toy - I get to practice my edging as long as she’s lasting and when she cums I can slide in and again it doesn’t matter how long I last.

I guess that’s what I’ve got. If sex is new to you, then it may just take some time to get sensitized. And keep communicating. I’ve never been afraid to say, “hey, I’m too close - can I pull out for a minute?” Most of the time the concern is more in my head and a bigger deal for me than her, too - the communication is HUGE.

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If you’re away and facing no pressures of work and domestic life, it can be easier to last longer. But back to reality of work, chores, family life etc you may be subconsciously “getting it over with” because of those other things.

When i was much younger and trigger happy, i used to think of unpleasant things like work to stop me cumming, then stopped for a bit to calm down, it worked for me!

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This is some A++++ advice right here. :raised_hands:

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Hey thanks, I’m blushing over here! :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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My husband goes limp after he cums and usually reaches his climax pretty quickly, so we’re always trying to slow him down :joy: I’ve never thought he’s not man enough, it’s just incredibly frustrating when he’s just done, and I’m not :expressionless:

Some of the things that have helped us are: cockrings :ok_hand::ok_hand::ok_hand:, spending more time on foreplay to get me closer to climax before he penetrates, trying different sex positions to find ones that are less stimulating for him (we’ll start on those, and then move into one he likes when I’m closer to climax), and him doing edging training to get better at stopping before his tipping point.

@Curious_Couple_19 Glad you had the courage to post, and hope you find something helpful to try :yellow_heart:

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Post holiday Blues fella post holiday Blues.

Everything is fine and dandy whilst away but on return when reality hits post holiday, it all goes to shiite.

It has nothing to do with what you are capable of, nothing by all means. You were in a comfortable
non stressful environment and all was good and then you found yourself returning to “Normality” Psychologically that does take some time getting used to. Having a lovely time to all of a sudden an alarm blasting on a Monday morning to make you aware you have to be at work uuurrgg.

Make a day in the week or at the weekend, on that day light candles run a bath, play soft music and share that bath. Re-Live that moment you had whilst away at that time. Just once or twice during a week taking that extra effort will relight that fire inside you both.

Normal life can be shiite, taking time to visit the better side now and then can go a long way.

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Something that we find helps is when I feel I am getting close we slow down or change positions. Sometimes I may even withdraw totally to stop the throbbing and go down on her to keep her stimulated.
Communication is the key, as sometimes I am close and tell her I need to slow down but my OH is also close and tells me to keep going.

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“What do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich City Centre?”. :rofl:

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That’ll do it! :rofl:

My boyfriend has always cum quite quickly but the last few years it was really starting to bother him and he was probably only lasting a minute or two. We tried some creams, sprays etc. that didn’t do much.

He ended up going to see the doctor right before COVID and they said it be related to a number of things but possibly could be anxiety related. As he had tried other things already they prescribed him some medication that has really made a huge difference to slow him down and he can go for as long as he wants or I need now without cumming. He is much happier now so maybe something to discuss together and think about.

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I don’t like the idea of medication, would go with extended foreplay and oral myself.

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As a matter of interest, what did they prescribe him…a beta blocker.?
Didnt think they prescribed anything for this issue.

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Quick update, had a clear the air chat with Mrs CC and explained how I felt about things and how I want to move forward. Safe to say things went well the other night, and a good 2 hour session took place compared to the normal frustrations of it being over and done with. We have agreed to take things slow and try set a side at least one night a month where things get wild and we try new things. Let’s hope this carries on!!!

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