not sure if my sleep sex is a problem!?

Okay so lately it seems in the middle of the night I'm literally pouncing on my other half.. I go along with it as if i remember btu i really don't.. she says we passionately kiss for ages then without asking I start to choke her and lube up for some anal.. and thats it... I don't remmeber , have a vague , dream like feeling, but is this a medical issue or?

There is some kind of disorder regarding sexual activities during sleep - sexomnia, I think? I don't know too much about it. I do know that my partner often becomes very sexual in his sleep, sometimes it's just kissing/fondling, sometimes sex. He almost never has any recollection of it, and since I'm always obliging, he often wakes up in the middle of groping/sex and assumes I was the one who initiated. I don't think he's ever not remembered having sex at all since he wakes up during the sex part, but a lot of the time he won't remember the kissing/groping at all, no matter how heated it was.

I never really thought of it as an issue so it didn't occur to me as a medical disorder (his sleepy affections are my favorite kind of affections haha), but perhaps it is. I wouldn't worry about it if your partner doesn't mind it, as long as you're not getting violent (or, violent in a way she doesn't like - is choking ever part of your normal sex life?). If you weren't in a relationship or it bothered your partner I would see someone about it, as I can imagine it can be quite frightening/offputting if you didn't enjoy someone trying to sex you while you sleep. Actually, I can't imagine not enjoying someone trying to have sex with you while you slept, but that's just me :P

@Arkadia - the choking part is usual aprt of our sex life so have no worries and I have the same thing.. i wake up during the sex part as she informs me that I get soo passionate and random in my sleep.. she says i kinda "pur" then pounce haha ...

I do all the normal things that we always do when i "sleep sex".. but I have a weird feeling theres something hiding away thats not right !! But then again my OH is VERY VERY please as she puts it... just wish i could remember it all!

i have found recently (or rather my OH has) that i have been fondling my OH's ass in the middle of the night and masturbating - i have no recollection of it at all so its not a concious thing. Its definitely pronounced when i am uber horny so there may be something in that.

Arkadia is right it sounds like a condition called sexsomnia , it is a harmless condition really. I have heard taking sleeping tablets or stress relievers reduce the amount of times this can happen. It might be best to be honest with your partner so they are more aware when this happens. If this still concerns you for a while go see a doctor, they will look at your sleep patterns and recommend stuff from there

Thank you guys thats great to hear all the advice.. I have spoken to my partner and let her know I wasn't exactly awake at the time, and she was completely cool with it.. turns out i sleep talk, walk, have full blown conversations , grope and have sex... Got some advice and seems it's stress related.. I have no stress in my life BUT somethings been aggitating me for a while.. so gotta figure it out...

ALSO since this whole sex episode.. I can't stop making out with my fiance.. WHEREVER AND WHENEVER I can ... I literally can't stop kissing her.. my libido has completely sky rocketed

KinkyCatherine wrote:

Arkadia is right it sounds like a condition called sexsomnia , it is a harmless condition really. I have heard taking sleeping tablets or stress relievers reduce the amount of times this can happen. It might be best to be honest with your partner so they are more aware when this happens. If this still concerns you for a while go see a doctor, they will look at your sleep patterns and recommend stuff from there

Actually, it can be really quite harmful. Men have been taken to court for raping their partners. It can really ruin lives unfortunately. And that's not to ignore the havoc sleep disorders can wreak on a persons sleep pattern and ability to get a refreshing night of sleep!

Fortunately it doesn't sound like this is the case in this situation, but it's worth mentioning because it's worth being aware of.

I can understand people's concern over the choking - when awake, and controlled properly it's an activity that isn't totally uncommon - but when you're asleep, you're less in control so you need to be extra careful - maybe make sure your OH has a surefire way of waking you if necessary :)

Otherwise - if your OH is understanding and you're happy with the whole situation there's no issue with it.

http://www.sleepsexdisorder.net/ this might have some more information for you :)

Adx

Thank you Alicia,

My partner has a way of waking me up now.. Thing is it starts with me asleep and i wake up half way into it... my OH loves choking to the point of breaking point.. and due to an injury years ago i can't grip that tight either anymore. enough to sort myself out, but not enough to cause damager to my OH either..

Thank you for the site also.. i will check it out :)