OK a bit random, but I feel horrible! So I just wanted some opinions from other people in regards to this.
My son is at his fathers house, and I've just finished my daily phone call with him - which ended in a shouting match in which as usual "I've ruined his life and I clearly hate him"
Basically what happened, during a normal conversation - As normal as it does with a 7yr old- my son just out of the blue says he wants a YouTube channel, to be able to stream computer games that he plays (He's very much in to computers, and often watches other streamers play) and that his dad said it's OK with him so long as it's OK with me.
I advised my son that under no circumstances would he be having a YouTube channel and posting videos up of himself. He got very upset at this and of course since his dad said Yes, that I'm the bad guy.
Surely I can't be the only person who see's this as wrong? His cousin (On his dads side) is 6, and she has a Youtube channel.
I honestly think this is disgusting and it opening up such a can of worms! And I have no idea what on earth her parents were thinking letting her do that (As far as I'm aware you also have to be what 13? 16? to have a Youtube account)
I can't be the only one right? Or am I just behind on the times with the way technology is taking over?
That is absolutely ridiculous. As an online gamer with several real life streaming friends, I can safely say even letting a 7 year old watch those streams is naive at best.
Does his father have any idea how much hate people throw at streamers? How you get hate mail up to and including death threats for playing a game 'wrong'? How much hatred, foul language and awful attitude is thrown around in the games/streams? I have been told (among many other things) to KILL MYSELF because my team was losing a game. That is the sort of attitude those idiots have. They are poisonous people. And that's not even getting into the risk of the wrong sort of people preying on him because he is a child...yes, I have had those people speak to me too. They cleared off when they realised I was over 10.
No way would having a stream be a good idea for a child. I think daddy needs to sit and watch those streams, read the comments and watch a few games to realise why it is hugely damaging to a childs development to be learning that that is the correct way to interact with others. He is the one behind the times if he doesn't realise what the online gaming world can be like. I would never wish my son to have people speak to him the way I or my friends have been spoken to. And if my son ever turned around and made those comments to another person because he heard them online...I just don't even know.
Don't get me wrong, this could never happen to him. And I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating but I'm not. Why take the chance? Why let him near those toxic 'players' who would be watching his stream for no reason other than to tear him down over it? No matter who he plays with or what the game is once you put something on the internet it's out there for all the nasty 'people' to see. No...you're totally in the right here :/
As a gamer myself, having a YouTube channel isn't about posting videos of him... Modern consoles (and pc's if you have the right gear) can upload game clips directly to YouTube so if he scores a good goal in fifa, he can save that clip, edit the video and then post it. If that's what he wants to use it for then it's actually not a bad idea, can help his video editing and also allow him to share his achievements with friends. You never know, if he gets good at whatever he plays, it might also open up opportunities for him in later life ☺ Agree it should be monitored for content and really I'd suggest only you or dad has log in details (register them on console so it connects but not so he can log in using pc/phone etc) but it should be perfectly safe for that kind of use. Hope that helps
I think you are completely in the right here. His dad was wrong to say he could do that before speaking with you.
I have had a similar problem with my ex. He told my daughter she could go to see Rhianna live when she was only 12. Needless to say I was furious and said she couldn't go. I was the bad guy for months. But, whatever! I had to protect her as I saw fit.
When things like this happen we are always seen as the bad ones, when we are protecting them!
That is absolutely ridiculous. As an online gamer with several real life streaming friends, I can safely say even letting a 7 year old watch those streams is naive at best.
Does his father have any idea how much hate people throw at streamers? How you get hate mail up to and including death threats for playing a game 'wrong'? How much hatred, foul language and awful attitude is thrown around in the games/streams? I have been told (among many other things) to KILL MYSELF because my team was losing a game. That is the sort of attitude those idiots have. They are poisonous people. And that's not even getting into the risk of the wrong sort of people preying on him because he is a child...yes, I have had those people speak to me too. They cleared off when they realised I was over 10.
No way would having a stream be a good idea for a child. I think daddy needs to sit and watch those streams, read the comments and watch a few games to realise why it is hugely damaging to a childs development to be learning that that is the correct way to interact with others. He is the one behind the times if he doesn't realise what the online gaming world can be like. I would never wish my son to have people speak to him the way I or my friends have been spoken to. And if my son ever turned around and made those comments to another person because he heard them online...I just don't even know.
Don't get me wrong, this could never happen to him. And I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating but I'm not. Why take the chance? Why let him near those toxic 'players' who would be watching his stream for no reason other than to tear him down over it? No matter who he plays with or what the game is once you put something on the internet it's out there for all the nasty 'people' to see. No...you're totally in the right here :/
See I agree with this love. I'm an online gamer.
My son does watch streams that I allow him to watch, these are only my actual friends who are professional gamers and stream online - Because they work for companies they're not allowed to do any of the usual hating/flaming ect, He isn't allowed to have the sound on (Because of ingame people who do flame which are beyond the streamers control); and there aren't ever any bad comments on the actual chat - which I know because I watch it too, and I have admin on there. So the person would be 'Timed out' and the comment removed before my child had chance to read it.
I agree, he is FAR too young to have this, I just felt horrible (I would have always stuck to the no - not happening at all... Ever) but I just wanted to see how other people felt about it too.
As a gamer myself, having a YouTube channel isn't about posting videos of him...
Modern consoles (and pc's if you have the right gear) can upload game clips directly to YouTube so if he scores a good goal in fifa, he can save that clip, edit the video and then post it.
If that's what he wants to use it for then it's actually not a bad idea, can help his video editing and also allow him to share his achievements with friends. You never know, if he gets good at whatever he plays, it might also open up opportunities for him in later life ☺
Agree it should be monitored for content and really I'd suggest only you or dad has log in details (register them on console so it connects but not so he can log in using pc/phone etc) but it should be perfectly safe for that kind of use.
Hope that helps
He doesn't want to do it like this, this I'd be OK with, I could disable comments ect. What he wants to do is stream it, so gameplay and a pic of him- whilst he is talking about what he is doing.
I think you are completely in the right here. His dad was wrong to say he could do that before speaking with you.
I have had a similar problem with my ex. He told my daughter she could go to see Rhianna live when she was only 12. Needless to say I was furious and said she couldn't go. I was the bad guy for months. But, whatever! I had to protect her as I saw fit.
When things like this happen we are always seen as the bad ones, when we are protecting them!
I hate it D it winds me up so much. What's so hard about saying "Your mother and I will discuss it, and we'll talk to you about it at a later date"
A 7 year old having a YouTube channel. I'm thinking about what I was doing at the age of 7 and it's nothing like this! I think it's sad really. It's not really what kids should be doing at that age.
It must have been horrible for you to have to listen to your son saying that and being put in that situation but in my opinion you made tge right decision.
The prime consideration is the welfare and wellbeing of your son. If there is ANY doubt that he may suffer verbal/written abuse I think you and his dad should know the right course of action. To me it appears he is playing you both. At 7 years of age he should be made aware that it is up to his guardians to decide what is deemed suitable.
I think personally I wouldn't have a problem with it, when I was that age I was playing massive online multiplayer games, I also learned to swear better, but lets be honest here, if a kid doesn't learn it online, they will learn it from somewhere. That said, youtube comments are totally different from the kind of gaming enviroment I was in, youtube is just... well, it's not youtube that's the problem, it's the comments, so if you just disabled them I guess it'd be fine?
As for his dad, that was out of line, having grown up with seperated parents, I know all to well how manipulative and horrible things can get, if both parents don't work together there will be chaos. Have you talked to him about it? Might be worth while to make sure it doesn't happen again.
I think you are completely right in saying no I have seen some horrible comments left on my brother-in-laws game vids and he's 16 so your protecting your son in my eyes I my eldest got brought a very cheap Lumia which I has said no to but the apps we have downloaded educational games/ apps/ her school books that have been put on a school site and I've changed all the settings and locks i check what she is doing every time x
As a gamer myself i completely agree with you! Even at 25 some comments i get can really get under my skin and upset me, when they start throwing the "kill yourself" comments, threats or the disgusting sexual comments for being female and the seemingly timeless childish "i shagged your mum" stuff which upsets me greatly since her death. I don't live stream or have a youtube channel but my boyfriend and several friends do, and some of the comments their videos get are just vile. Keyboard warriors that hide behind their screen names and are nasty for the sake of it just to bully and troll people. It begs the question what kind of games a 7 year old would be streaming anyway, I can't imagine they would be popular or have a wide audience unless he's playing the popular stuff like call of duty and gta which no child should.
I'd personally not let any child of mine use youtube, facebook etc til they were atleast 13 and that would still be monitored til at least 16. I didn't even have internet til i was 15, what kids are allowed to access these days and at such young ages quite honestly alarms me.
I'm not a parent, but a very loving Uncle to a 7yr old.
Yesterday I took her for a bike ride round the park, then we planted some sunflowers in the back garden.
Yes she likes to play a few games on her Dad's ipad too, and even goes on youtube to play some song she hears on the radio all the time.
But under no circumstances would anyone, and especially me if it was my decision, allow her to have her own youtube channel and the freedom to upload whatever she wanted on there for anyone to see etc.
You are absolutely right in this matter and her father is absolutely wrong on two accounts. Firstly to even think it is ok to do so and secondly to say yes to your son prior to discussing with you. Looks like he has done this to set you up and the bad guy i'm afraid.
Stand your ground on this and if the father is mature enough to be educated on the dangers of the internet as well as the benefits, then maybe he will realise what he is possibly exposing his child to.
I have 4 children. My youngest is 8 and whilst he watches you tube minecrafters I would never allow him to have his own account. He has a mobile (before you all say !!! He has this mobile to keep in contact with his father who is abusive to me and isn't allowed my number). As a result of having the mobile he has an email account that I control and he is extremely limited to the amount of time he spends on both you tube and the internet.
My stepchildren are 12 & 17 (they live with us), neither of them have you tube accounts either purely because of the trolls that are out there. My eldest stepson didn't even get Facebook till 15!
My stepson's biological mother allows them to play Xbox games above their age range and access all sorts. Its your classic 'I want to be the cool parent' syndrome. This is so annoying as we end up being the bad parents because we don't allow this.
End of the day they are children, its our job as parents to protect them and allow them to be children. Your son will grow up respecting you more because you put the proper boundaries in place.
You are completely right, and his dad has made a big mistake, no child that age should have that kind of exposure. Is hard to keep up with technology, and kids these days are always ahead of us on it, but before his teens, I am afraid I would do as you and forbid it. Communication with you for issues like this must improve, I would really tackle that with his father if I was you
I don't really see a problem with it, moderating comments would be the biggest issue for me, and if you don't want him streaming a video to the whole world you can set it so only his friends can watch his channel, or just stick with saying no video of him. Personally I think suggesting a compromise would be the best idea.
OK a bit random, but I feel horrible! So I just wanted some opinions from other people in regards to this.
My son is at his fathers house, and I've just finished my daily phone call with him - which ended in a shouting match in which as usual "I've ruined his life and I clearly hate him"
Basically what happened, during a normal conversation - As normal as it does with a 7yr old- my son just out of the blue says he wants a YouTube channel, to be able to stream computer games that he plays (He's very much in to computers, and often watches other streamers play) and that his dad said it's OK with him so long as it's OK with me.
I advised my son that under no circumstances would he be having a YouTube channel and posting videos up of himself. He got very upset at this and of course since his dad said Yes, that I'm the bad guy.
Surely I can't be the only person who see's this as wrong? His cousin (On his dads side) is 6, and she has a Youtube channel.
I honestly think this is disgusting and it opening up such a can of worms! And I have no idea what on earth her parents were thinking letting her do that (As far as I'm aware you also have to be what 13? 16? to have a Youtube account)
I can't be the only one right? Or am I just behind on the times with the way technology is taking over?
Two ways to look at this.
Personally I would not let a child have a Youtube channel. As the parent you are the boss and you have the final say in everything that he does. Children think they are the boss and this boggles my mind. If he lives with your then the answer is no he can't have one if he lives with his father then the father has the final say because he will be in charge of monitoring him.
The utter abuse that is spewed in the comments section would make your head spin. That being said I think every child believes that they are going to be the next PewDiePie and be famous for doing nothing and when they see their videos only getting 2 views it can be very disheartening. He very well may get sick and tired of it after a week or so and if you disable the comments sections on it he would be safe enough.
I wouldn't have changed my mind, I was just looking for opinions on it. Was questioning myself as to if this is now one of the things that have come with the way things are. In regards to computers.
His dad always makes me the bad guy, I think that's because my son lives with me. He see's his father during the school holidays (When he actually takes him) and he panders to his every whim. I don't. I've told him on more than one occasion that he is his father not his brother, and needs to act more like a parent.
I just couldn't see 'How' he would deem this as OK. But I've thought more about this, and honestly think now that he probably doesn't see it as OK, but knew I wouldn't agree to it. So this way he still has the 'Best dad' award.
My son did phone me up an hour later and apologize and told me he loved me! Which was great. But he still won't be having a YouTube channel! I'm sure at some point he'll be able to do it (When he's older!) as he's pretty much a math and computer wizz! ATM he has everything he does online monitored by me, and restricted.
What's great is that your 7 year old son phoned you back - whether he was prompted to do so by his father or off his own accord, either way that is amazing.
The other thing to remember, that he is only 7 still, so although 'Best Parent Award' is being favoured by the father who is just playing him off you (which is awful!), when your 7 yr old is 17 (if not sooner) he will realise this more and more and know and appreciate exactly where you have come from and what you have done for him.
Being raised by my mother, I never really took stock of everything she had done for me until I went to uni, increased my social circle when meeting new people and it was them who were amazed when we would tell each other about our lies growing up etc. They made me realise exactly what my mother went through to raise 2 boys on her own.
I'm sure I dont need to tell you this, but it si true that true parenting is a thankless task but the rewards are reaped in for years to come!