Hey all you beautiful people
I'm sorry I need a rant and I just don't know what to do.
So I've been with my partner for over a year and he's gone down on me 3 times 2 times when we first got together but once the other day but I think it was to prove a point (that's a long story) well anyway he just keeps telling me he's gone off it but I'm so confused seeing as his ex who yes I get along with told me how he was obsessed with it and would just do it while she would try to watch tv and he was like it with his ex before. I always wash down there there's no smells and I always make sure I'm fresh I just don't get it :( it's really frustrating me cause where he did it the other night he's amazing at doing it and I just want more I just have the urge to be licked out and it's not like I'm used to it either my ex of 7 years never did it he was just weird he wouldn't even try it. I just duno what to do and for men reading this is it possible to go off it or could it be something. Wrong with me that he's not telling me.
Thank you from a one frustrated woman
P.s we still hardly ever have sex and we always used to my sex drive is so high but after a few problems it has gone down now due to my head being one fucked up mess
Sorry to hear your having troubles, I'm not sure I can help. There is a dedicated Rant page, you might get more support and advice there.
Thank you I've gone onto normal chat and off topics x
What is the reason why he doesn't want to go down on you?
Well, I think you should explain to him how you feel and ask for an honest answer. He may just have a low sex drive and not feel the urge anymore, it can be a result of depression.
Unfortunately, you are not going to get the correct answer from us even though we may guess. The best thing is to talk to your boyfriend and hopefully get an honest answer :)
Maybe if he was so obsessed with giving his ex oral, it now reminds him of her? I've been put off various sex acts in the past due to the memories they bring, it's possible he's got something similar going on? It's also entirely possible nothing is going on and he has just gone off it, people's sexual appetites do change. Like my partner, he used to fist his ex on a regular basis and enjoyed it, and yet we only did it once despite my offering to do it again. He just wasn't interested, and I'm certainly as fistable as she was. Your partner could just be all oraled out! I doubt it's anything to do with you though, if he still truly loved giving oral sex and he just had a problem giving it to you, surely he'd try to fix the problem he had giving you oral rather than cease all operations and deny himself something he loves doing.
When you say you're having sex less than you used to, is that because he isn't up for it? Have you talked to him about it? Are there outside factors like stress at work situation, stress within your relationship, health problems (mental or physical), anything at all that could have caused him to lose his drive? If you can identify anything that can be addressed, addressing it could help.
Honestly I would back off for now so he doesn't feel pressured (which will put him off further) but definitely have a talk outside the bedroom with no expectations of it leading to sex/oral sex to both get to the bottom of any problems he is having and let him know (calmly) that you're upset by it. It can be so easy to fixate on the one thing you don't have (like oral) and get bogged down in negative feelings, so maybe try to focus on the intamicy and time together you do share, even if that's just sitting watching TV together or ordering a take away dinner. The little things, as they say.
He just says I've gone off it :/
I've tried and he says I've just gone off it I ask him questions and he just says that but sadly he was flirting with this girl and was going to meet her and said he doesn't lick me out I taste horrible I confronted him he promised me he didn't mean it and it wasn't true I've even tasted myself and I just taste sweet :/
How long ago was he going to see the other girl?
Well there must be something in his head that is stopping him doing it. Its pleasing each other and not being selfish. Do you give him regular BJ'S??
Last June July and August she started messaging me few days ago with convos from him and her that she found through snapchat as some of them saved and then the other night he went down on me but I asked if it was to prove a point that he didn't mean what he said he just said no I wanted to now tonight again he's saying he just doesn't like it anymore and gone off it :/
Yeah I give them to him whenever he wants one..he doesn't want them as much but I will still do it when he does and last year he had that sex somia thingy but then after he stopped talking to that girl few months after he never got it again. He said before and his ex confirmed it that he never wanted blow jobs and didn't like them but since with me he loves them so suppose I'm doing one thing write
It just seems strange how she had changed so quickly
For him to flirt and wanting to meet up with someone else like that is a big WARNING to me. May I ask, do you have a loving relationship outside the bedroom?
Yeah we do well even when he was flirting with her before I found out was one of our happiest times believe it or not even though it was last year with her messaging again it has put a big strain on the relationship where I've said it doesn't feel like a relationship he's starting a new job and while he's been waiting for the start date he just plays this game online all the time I said about it and now he starts his new job next week so was hoping more time together we went out together last night but it wasn't like it used to be :/
Take the pressure off oral and enjoy each other sexually
It seems as though there are bigger issues. I know through bitter experience how a lack of communication can sneak up on you,how not talking as much,not seeing each other as much can suddenly cause problems.
Try to get back to doing some of the things you used to do when the relationship was new.from there try to talk,to see if there is something behind his behavior.
Explain to him how it's effecting you and the relationship.
From a solely sexual point of view, I have always thought of sex as a very mutual thing.i think it's important for both people to be happy and mutually pleasured.it can't be all one way.but it also has to be something both people want/enjoy.see if there is something he would like to instead of oral or something that he wants that will lead into oral
Are you sure you still love him and can trust him after all he has put you through? I would think that if he really cares about the relationship, he would try harder to heal the wound he has caused your relationship because he is the one to blame.
I am sorry if I sound harsh. I just want you to think about this because if you don't feel that he tries hard enough to save the relationship after being the one messing up, then it is not worth spending your time on him. Time is precious and you seem like a lovely girl.
I don't really go on about it and I never ask for it well apart from tonight I asked but since I asked he doesn't even want to have sex
Thank you Hun I know I love him because I did say maybe we don't have a future but I just can't let go of him tbh with the trust that's being built back up but I suppose with my head being a mess seems like everything else is bugging me the oral thing I enjoyed it so much and with him just saying he's gone off it and all the other stuff that's happened I suppose I think there's more to it then him just apprently going off it. Before when ever I wanted sex it was fine but now when I want sex he just says I'm not horny and won't let me get him horny we only have it when he wants it and if I'm not in the mood he will do everything to get me horny which it works just he doesn't even try oral to get me horny x