I want advice really as I am pretty sure I've never had an orgasm. I like sex and it makes me feel good. I also like using toys and they can enhance the nice feeling... However, I've never been mind blown. I've tried a lot of different toys and positions but just want something that makes me want to scream out loud and not give a damn what anyone else thinks.... so any tips on what I could try to help me out?

Do you have certain toys or positions that you enjoy most? I'd say experiment with those more to see what works for you specifically. Just relax and take your time with it. Don't forget, mental stimulation is just as important (if not more so) as physical stimulation. Do you fantasise when you're using your toys?

I think we can focus too much on reaching an orgasm that it makes achieving it so much harder. There's been times when I've been really relaxed and not "going for it" and I've had an orgasm seemingly out of the blue. Like "where did that just come from?" lol

Just keep practicing with your favourites. I couldn't climax using toys at first and now it's rare to find something I don't enjoy.

This may sound silly but have you tried both clitoral and g-spot stimulation..some women can only cum from one, others both. I believe some can even cum from stimulating the cervix. If you still have no luck I would advise speaking to your gp as their could well be a medical problem. X

I've just had a look at some of the products you've reviewed and you say in one that you like fast and buzzy. With that type of vibration you may find yourself becoming a little numb which may be inhibiting your orgasms (though some people love fast and buzzy and will orgasm every time with it so it's not a sure fix). Have you tried a lower frequency, more 'rumbly' toy?

A lot of people also swear by clitoral suction stimulation, so something like a Womanizer, Satisfyer or a Lelo Sona may be something you might want to consider.

Mrs Chimp is also a fan of using a glass dildo along with a good clit toy. For many years she was all about clitoral stimulation but recently has really started enjoying the double stimulation of a 'blended orgasm'.

I think it's all about exploration and having fun trying new things out. If you put too much pressure on yourself it could make orgasming so much more difficult. If you're relaxed and comfortable and having a nice time then that's a great start. 🙂

Hope this helps

Definitely best looking at what you have tried and looking at alternatives. Some woman find they need stimulation in different areas or multi stimulation. It's definitely a trial and error as every woman will react differently to another. I find for myself or can depend on a variety of things at the time, but my hubby seems to know just what to do now but it's taken time to build to get stronger more intense orgasms

Hi Littlelovebug. I'm like you, and up until recently I could count my orgasms on one hand, in all my 67 years, although I love sex and have a lot of pleasure. In a way, I like that more than orgasms, as that's it for me when I do.

After some years of celibacy (including self stimulation) my libido came back, and I had a long session with myself, exploring, watching in a mirror, playing. I wasn't expecting or looking for orgasm, but after about an hour and a half, I could feel one building, and of course I let the wave take me, and came like never before.

Following that breakthrough, I've managed a few more, each time with a new toy, and several weeks apart. It's like my body isn't interested in orgasm, it's interested in arousal and pleasure. I haven't managed a second orgasm with any of my rather too large toy collection, nor have I had one with my latest toy, a Womaniser Starlet, but it was great fun, and really pleasurable.

So now it takes both hands and a foot to count my orgasms - but I think I'm still more interested in arousal and mounting pleasure than in chasing an illusive 'finish'.

Advice for you would be to try really taking your time, explore yourself, try your toys and give them time, relax into just playing and not seeking. Love yourself, you know, really see how beautiful you are, and let each sensation be a treasure. Slow down, and let yourself really feel each touch and stroke, take your mind and attention to the place you are touching. Stroke your nipples, stretch your clit. Be sensuous - maybe have a scented bath, relax, then massage your breasts and tummy slowly, with some nice oil, and don't touch your sex until you can't bear it any longer. Read or watch some sexy stuff if that would turn you on (I like words, so writing really explicit passages turns me on).

I hope that helps - above all, set aside special t i m e and enjoy yourself.